I had a very bad experience with marijuana recently, and I’m looking to figure out what caused it, and how I can stop it from happening again.
I first started experimenting with marijuana with my boyfriend, who is what one might call an “experienced stoner,” close to a month ago at this point. The first two or three times I tried smoking, basically nothing happened, at most I was a little giddy. After that, I got high the next two times we smoked.
The time after that was—for lack of a better word—insane. Or rather, I felt like I was going crazy. We had smoked a bowl together, and for the first time it was evenly split. I had probably 10-12 hits, which was a pretty big increase from the previous 3-5 coughed and fumbled per session.
I started feeling incredibly woozy and had to sit down, but then was all right in like a minute. We were outside, and walking back up to my room was…surreal, I guess. At first it was just like my mind was a tiny bit disconnected from my body, although not necessarily badly, just a little floaty. By the time we got back up to my room, though, it was entirely different. I started feeling incredibly dizzy. I had a hard time standing up, so I sat on my bed. Looking around, it felt like the world wasn’t three-dimensional anymore. Or, rather, it was like the room was a photograph with multiple exposures, or like a movie reel was slowed down to the point where you can see the different frames for a split second.
In a strange way, too, I lost track of time. It felt like things I had done five minutes ago were hours and hours ago. I couldn’t hold the train of a conversation in my head, because it felt like every sentence was hours ago. Apparently I wouldn’t stop moving around, but I don’t really remember that. It also felt like every thirty seconds, every time I forgot, but I was waking up over and over again, from a dream within a dream, within yet another dream.
All of this sounds perfectly fine and just like a strange occurrence now, but when it happened, it was quite possibly the most terrifying experience of my life. I felt like I was paralyzed, except I could clearly move. I felt like the world wasn’t real, except I could interact with it, and the dimensions changed to suit my perception based on location. I think I probably started hyperventilating, though I don’t really know for sure. Basically, I was scared to death. I just wanted to go to sleep and not have to feel like this any more, which I eventually did, probably about 45 minutes after this all occurred.
The next day we smoked again, because I didn’t want to leave the weekend on a bad note. I had like two tiny hits, and it was fine, I just got giggly and warm feeling.
The next weekend we smoked again. The first and second nights were fine, although I didn’t smoke very much at all, and I took my time between hits. The third night I smoked, the same thing happened as before, but after only two hits (admittedly largish and close together). Time slowed down again, but more than before. I couldn’t even respond very coherently to anything, because I couldn’t even remember the important parts of the sentence because 30 seconds felt like an hour. We listened to some music, and a song that I know was no longer than 2 minutes felt like hours long. My vision was all jolting and multiple exposure again, but it was worse than before. I started crying on my boyfriend’s shoulder (I don’t even remember why, I was upset about some small thing that had magnified itself in my mind). This time I didn’t get as anxious about the actual experience, mostly because I had some idea what was going on, but it was a worse feeling and all I wanted was for it to be morning and to be sober again.
Possibly relevant information: I’m a nineteen year old, slightly underweight female with significant anxiety problems (currently in therapy). The two bad nights I had some negative feelings earlier that day, but I thought they were resolved by the time I smoked (I try to always go into situations involving substances in a good state of mind). Reconstructing the timeline in my mind, it is possible that both of the bad nights were right before I started my period.
I’ve seen this
question, and a lot of the experiences that the asker talks about have happened to me. I found that after the first time, though, and I tried to heed all of the advice that was given.
I guess my question is; how do I make sure that this never ever happens again? Is there something I’m not thinking of? I tried drinking and eating the second time, because I read that that would help, but it didn’t at all. What am I missing? I enjoy the little giggles and the altered perception that a good time brings, but after this, I’m seriously considering never doing this again. Help?
Throw-away email is firstname.lastname@example.org