Friend request denied!
March 31, 2011 10:42 AM Subscribe
Does the three day rule no longer exist in dating? I kinda liked it. What's the protocol in the time of facebook and texting?
posted by Carlotta Bananas to Human Relations (36 answers total) 3 users marked this as a favorite
So snowflake precipitous story: Met a guy at a bar on a Thursday. We hit it off, he walked me home and we exchanged numbers. He sent me a text when he got home saying how nice it was to meet me. That was cute, I told him the same. I was perfectly ready to wait til Saturday (or so) to hear from him or I would call him (I'm not a damsel waiting to be chased). He added me to facebook the very next day. And he sent me (multiple) texts everyday til Sunday. Not making plans texts; I tried calling him because it seemed like he was trying to get to know me through an inadequate medium, but he seemed really uncomfortable talking and we ended the convo kinda awkward. Then the texting resumed. I'm not unwilling to talk to someone so soon, but he was all over the place. (My responses to the texts were friendly, but tried to convey the message that I was busy and looked forward to talking to him later, I was after all at work and so was he).
This creeped me out. This is weird, right? I need a day of space to a) acknowledge I've met someone I like and b) go over our interaction while sober to make sure it wasn't drunk-infatuation. He didn't give me any space at all and by Sunday the texts were over-familiar (to me) in the vein of 'hey baby'. I DON'T KNOW YOU I AM NOT YOUR BABY. I told him something along those lines and he told me to fuck off. He made it real easy to be comfortable with my decision there.
I've had a few similar encounters where the guy makes electronic contact almost immediately and I have no time to get my bearings (or feel excited anticipation!) and it makes me feel like a prudey old lady (I'm 26) to be turned off by this.
My friend tells me I'm completely overreacting and this is how dating in the time of facebook and texting works (although she admitted the 'baby' talk was pushing it). Am I being unrealistic to expect a little space from someone whose last name I haven't learned yet?
FWIW, I usually date people I've met through work or school, more often than not we're at least acquaintances before one of us asks the other out. But I have done this new person dating before, with a nice 2-3 day period of twitterpated anticipation before calling the new person and things have progressed well from there. Haven't gone this route in a while and I'm wondering if things have changed completely in the few years I've been dating known parties.
Does anyone know what they're doing out there?