My boss thinks I'm dumb. Maybe I am.
March 26, 2011 7:50 AM Subscribe
My boss thinks I'm incompetent. Maybe I am. Sinking self esteem inside:
posted by anonymous to human relations (22 answers total) 6 users marked this as a favorite
This is a two part issue that I'm probably too emotional to parse. But as I see it, part I is that my boss is an intensely negative person who tends to think most people are incompetent (has fired tons of people over the many years I've been there - or micromanaged them into quitting). He talks past me, ignores my ideas, or argues with almost all of them. I know this is part of how he interacts with the world generally, but it also feels targeted specifically at me. In the more than 10 years I've worked with him I've grown from a newbie in my field to someone with more expertise on some of my work than he has. Some of my expertise comes from outside experience, some from my work at this organization. Anyway, he seems to still think of me as someone in my early 20s who knows nothing. This leaves me alternately enraged or, depending on my mind-state, terrible about myself. So part one of my question is, how to deal with this deeply undermining boss (in an awful economy when I can't find a comparable job).
Part II of my issue (and of my question here) is that I often feel that I am in fact incompetent. I'm a recovering know-it-all. I've always been overconfident. There are ways this has served me well, but there are ways I know I've overestimated my abilities. In this job I feel both that I'm perhaps being judged on old behavior (since I've been there so long) but also fear that I actually just suck. So specifically my question here is - how to do something useful with this fear - so I'm not just paralyzed and depressed? In other words, how can I actually show myself to be more competent? I've read some other threads about how to be less of a know-it-all, and have definitely made strides but am still working on that. I know that the bulk of seeming competent is, well, being competent. And I'm growing at that too. But what behaviors show competence instead of insecurity about competence?
Thanks. I know this is a little disjointed.