Help me flirt like a man?
March 21, 2011 6:52 PM Subscribe
How do men and women flirt differently? I'm a straight man who often comes off as feminine or gay, and I don't like it. I think it's ruining my success with women. Help?
posted by anonymous to Human Relations (53 answers total) 19 users marked this as a favorite
I fear I'm an extreme case. I've blatantly hit on women and then had them remark to mutual friends that they think I'm gay. Twice. Recently. This has to stop.
I think it's causing me to land in the friend zone/be unable to be flirty when I need to be.
I'm chaming, tolerable-looking, and can relate to people very easily, and can do "flirty" things (casual touching, eye contact, etc.), but when I try to flirt with women, I think it comes off as vaguely feminine.
Not looking for specific feedback on what I do or don't do, but more for general ideas about how masculine and feminine flirting, or straight and gay, styles are different. (Yes, I've read the usual things people link to here, like that guide to flirting, and yes I've read, though am ambivalent about, some of that "pua" stuff.) I have overwhelmingly female friends, was raised by a single mother, had no older siblings, etc., so my life has been basically totally devoid of male role models for this sort of thing. (And it's way too weird/creepy/awkward to talk to other guys about this.)
Like, what would my dad have said to me if he were around?
Relevant data: 31, grad student, mostly tends to have slightly younger friends, intellectual crowd. Additional issue: my voice tends to slip into the high-pitched range unless I exercise conscious control over it.