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March 13, 2011 12:48 PM Subscribe
What are some good sports for couples with differing levels of athletic ability?
My boyfriend and I have both gained about 25 pounds since starting to date 9 months ago.
Him: He's an ex-athlete. Track and swimming mostly. He goes swimming now every once in a while, and has invited me to go, but outside the anxiety of being in a swim suit around people, I also have Really Really Long Hair and I'm afraid of it getting nasty in the pool even if I wear a swim cap(the pool is very heavily chlorinated). So, I don't want to swim.
He also has a high BMR from being athletic. I don't. So we know that we both need to adjust our diets(and I need to not always eat when he does or as much). So, we're working on that and I'm not looking for advice there.
He doesn't want to take a dance class with me(I suggested Zumba or some other high intensity dance), so that's out.
Me: I dance(bellydance 5 hours+ a week, and Jamaican Popular Dance 2 hours a week). I am not athletic(was always last in track in school and I have no endurance). I used to go to the gym, but the idea of my boyfriend seeing me pooped out on the elliptical after 12 minutes is anxiety inducing(Although he says he doesn't mind, I'll get over it and go eventually...) I also have limited range of motion in my left hip from a tumor excision and bone graft/pin, and have very limited depth perception. I try to play badminton, but often the birdie hits me in the forehead because I miss. It's frustrating. (I also don't enjoy hiking, being outside in the woods gives me major anxiety, like edging on panic-attack levels, elevated heart rate hyperventilating and all the rest. I don't even like standing in grass(I'm convinced I'm going to be bitten by ticks and other bugs, although I've been working on that).
So, long story short, we talked about our differing styles in exercise and decided playing a sport together would be best. What sports do you recommend for two people that have varying degrees of athletic ability, and one person having limited depth perception?
My boyfriend and I have both gained about 25 pounds since starting to date 9 months ago.
Him: He's an ex-athlete. Track and swimming mostly. He goes swimming now every once in a while, and has invited me to go, but outside the anxiety of being in a swim suit around people, I also have Really Really Long Hair and I'm afraid of it getting nasty in the pool even if I wear a swim cap(the pool is very heavily chlorinated). So, I don't want to swim.
He also has a high BMR from being athletic. I don't. So we know that we both need to adjust our diets(and I need to not always eat when he does or as much). So, we're working on that and I'm not looking for advice there.
He doesn't want to take a dance class with me(I suggested Zumba or some other high intensity dance), so that's out.
Me: I dance(bellydance 5 hours+ a week, and Jamaican Popular Dance 2 hours a week). I am not athletic(was always last in track in school and I have no endurance). I used to go to the gym, but the idea of my boyfriend seeing me pooped out on the elliptical after 12 minutes is anxiety inducing(Although he says he doesn't mind, I'll get over it and go eventually...) I also have limited range of motion in my left hip from a tumor excision and bone graft/pin, and have very limited depth perception. I try to play badminton, but often the birdie hits me in the forehead because I miss. It's frustrating. (I also don't enjoy hiking, being outside in the woods gives me major anxiety, like edging on panic-attack levels, elevated heart rate hyperventilating and all the rest. I don't even like standing in grass(I'm convinced I'm going to be bitten by ticks and other bugs, although I've been working on that).
So, long story short, we talked about our differing styles in exercise and decided playing a sport together would be best. What sports do you recommend for two people that have varying degrees of athletic ability, and one person having limited depth perception?
Best answer: Running! It's a sport. Do the Couch to 5k program together, perhaps. Cycling is also a good suggestion, though a bit pricey compared to running.
posted by hepta at 1:07 PM on March 13, 2011 [2 favorites]
posted by hepta at 1:07 PM on March 13, 2011 [2 favorites]
Best answer: Rock climbing/climbing gym?
As someone who used to swim competitively at the same time I had crayola colored hair, liberally soaking your hair in conditioner and then putting on the swim cap really helped me keep my color. Can't help you on the swim suit thing, though.
Yoga?
posted by mollymayhem at 1:09 PM on March 13, 2011 [2 favorites]
As someone who used to swim competitively at the same time I had crayola colored hair, liberally soaking your hair in conditioner and then putting on the swim cap really helped me keep my color. Can't help you on the swim suit thing, though.
Yoga?
posted by mollymayhem at 1:09 PM on March 13, 2011 [2 favorites]
As someone who used to swim competitively at the same time I had crayola colored hair, liberally soaking your hair in conditioner and then putting on the swim cap really helped me keep my color.
OMG, my grammar really is that bad. I am so embarrassed.
posted by mollymayhem at 1:11 PM on March 13, 2011
OMG, my grammar really is that bad. I am so embarrassed.
posted by mollymayhem at 1:11 PM on March 13, 2011
Best answer: Canoeing or kayaking. If he's more athletic, let him do the paddling :)
posted by desjardins at 1:32 PM on March 13, 2011
posted by desjardins at 1:32 PM on March 13, 2011
Best answer: We like playing racquetball. Hubs is overweight and can only really see out of one eye at a time. He doesn't have great depth perception, but still can hit a mean serve. I'm more active while he tends to stand in one place. However, 45 minutes of chasing and hitting the ball wear us out :-)
posted by Calzephyr at 1:34 PM on March 13, 2011
posted by Calzephyr at 1:34 PM on March 13, 2011
Best answer: Running, if it's OK in terms of your hip issues. Just remember that it's not a race. Unless your boyfriend runs regularly, you guys are probably on par there (a general state of "being athletic" or "used to play sports in high school" does not really say anything about one's current cardiovascular health or distance endurance).
I hated track/running related stuff in high school but have had great luck with Couch to 5K. Though I'll admit that I prefer to do it alone. Maybe do the first three weeks or so by yourself until you feel more comfortable?
posted by Sara C. at 1:35 PM on March 13, 2011 [1 favorite]
I hated track/running related stuff in high school but have had great luck with Couch to 5K. Though I'll admit that I prefer to do it alone. Maybe do the first three weeks or so by yourself until you feel more comfortable?
posted by Sara C. at 1:35 PM on March 13, 2011 [1 favorite]
Best answer: That's a lot of dancing. You might not be giving yourself enough credit. That takes a fair bit of endurance - so you might ramp up pretty quickly with biking and such. Don't be afraid to start slow and work your way up - if he's a better biker or kayaker, will he be patient?
posted by crankyrogalsky at 1:36 PM on March 13, 2011
posted by crankyrogalsky at 1:36 PM on March 13, 2011
Best answer: I would second (third?) cycling. You can get inexpensive bike and go for rides together (leisurely or otherwise). It's much easier on joints and hips than running.
posted by tip120 at 1:50 PM on March 13, 2011
posted by tip120 at 1:50 PM on March 13, 2011
Best answer: I agree with cycling. It's a fun way to explore your surroundings, and it can be as intense or easy as you want it to be. If you don't have a bike, look for spinning classes at your gym. It's totally in the dark, you set your own resistance and does not depend on any hand-eye coordination. I'm not sure that really qualifies as a sport you can do "together", but it is a class that you can take together.
posted by hooray at 1:57 PM on March 13, 2011
posted by hooray at 1:57 PM on March 13, 2011
Best answer: Go to the gym but don't do cardio. Lift weights together. It's easy to do with differing strengths and will do a lot for fat management. Just pick any program and stick with it.
Having a partner keeps you accountable too...I always like when my gf gets back into lifting as it keeps me perfectly on schedule.
posted by zephyr_words at 2:02 PM on March 13, 2011 [2 favorites]
Having a partner keeps you accountable too...I always like when my gf gets back into lifting as it keeps me perfectly on schedule.
posted by zephyr_words at 2:02 PM on March 13, 2011 [2 favorites]
Best answer: I love rock climbing as an activity like this... it's a totally fun, challenging activity where you don't necessarily have to be at the same athletic level as your partner at all. It does, however, require some cooperation... plus, the rock gyms are usually super cool, laid back places to go.
posted by ph00dz at 2:09 PM on March 13, 2011
posted by ph00dz at 2:09 PM on March 13, 2011
Best answer: Riding a tandem bike.
posted by The corpse in the library at 2:11 PM on March 13, 2011 [4 favorites]
posted by The corpse in the library at 2:11 PM on March 13, 2011 [4 favorites]
Best answer: I was coming in to suggest spin class but hooray beat me to it. It is lots of fun - the instructors where I go are wonderful and they play great music that inspires you to work harder. You control the resistance and speed so two people sitting side by side can have different levels of fitness but still do the whole routine together. And I'm a big klutz but even I can sit on a stationary bike and not fall off (yet).
posted by nelvana at 2:11 PM on March 13, 2011
posted by nelvana at 2:11 PM on March 13, 2011
Response by poster: Thanks everyone, great ideas so far that I hadn't even considered one iota. Fantastic!
posted by lettuchi at 2:20 PM on March 13, 2011
posted by lettuchi at 2:20 PM on March 13, 2011
Best answer: Yes. Tandem biking. My partner is a much stronger cyclist than I am, but we have a great time on our tandem. If we were biking each on our own bikes, he would get way ahead of me, or not get a good workout, but because we're attached, we each contribute at our own level and its terrific! It's also a lot more fun than riding 2 bikes because you can actually hear each other talking. Bonus: your boyfriend wont see you pooped out, because you'll be behind him!
Here's the only warning I have: tandem bikes are known as "relationship accelerators." they require you to trust each other and work together a LOT. If you guys bicker or aren't so good at communicating and laughing about your mistakes, it might not be that great an idea. Maybe rent one for a day and see if you get the hang of it?
posted by juliapangolin at 2:22 PM on March 13, 2011
Here's the only warning I have: tandem bikes are known as "relationship accelerators." they require you to trust each other and work together a LOT. If you guys bicker or aren't so good at communicating and laughing about your mistakes, it might not be that great an idea. Maybe rent one for a day and see if you get the hang of it?
posted by juliapangolin at 2:22 PM on March 13, 2011
Not really a sport. It does have pretty positive health benefits if you walk and carry your bag, but golf is pretty much the best activity assuming the grass thing doesn't creep you too much. There is nothing on earth as pleasant as golfing with your partner and it has the benefit of an activity you can do your whole life as you get older. Athletic ability has very little impact on proficiency.
posted by Keith Talent at 2:34 PM on March 13, 2011
posted by Keith Talent at 2:34 PM on March 13, 2011
Golf? Walking the course while carrying your clubs is good exercise and the handicap system allows people of differing abilities to compete. You won't have to deal with long grass/bugs if you avoid the rough.
posted by carmicha at 2:48 PM on March 13, 2011
posted by carmicha at 2:48 PM on March 13, 2011
Fencing. It's a great workout, and you get to hit each other with swords! It's also a very cerebral sport in that being smart on the strip can negate a lot of pure athletic skill on the part of the opponent.
posted by COD at 2:59 PM on March 13, 2011
posted by COD at 2:59 PM on March 13, 2011
Depending on where you live - what about sand volleyball? I do not live near the beach, but lots of parks have courts for this. I'm have never been very in shape, but I remember playing volleyball with an ice chest of beer and a group of friends. We used to get together every Saturday morning and I'd be sore until Tuesday.
posted by tryniti at 3:01 PM on March 13, 2011
posted by tryniti at 3:01 PM on March 13, 2011
Best answer: Lifting weights with a SO is the ultimate partners with different fitness levels exercise. You can help each other load bars, spot each other when needed, and critique form and give cues. I started lifting weights with a boyfriend and it really meant a lot to me to have a buddy in the weight room with me -- someone who I could laugh with when I did something wrong or who could help me figure out how the f you're supposed to adjust the incline on those weird benches. The boyfriend is long gone, but so are the 15 lb I needed to lose when I started, and I've gone from a totally unfit person to seeing myself as an honest to god athlete.
Do Starting Strength together! It is so much fun! Also it will transform your body and make you a kicking ass, lean machine.
Please feel free to MeFiMail me if you have any questions about weight training, because it's my personal mission to get chicks to lift weights (because of how happy I suspect it will make you).
posted by telegraph at 3:09 PM on March 13, 2011 [2 favorites]
Do Starting Strength together! It is so much fun! Also it will transform your body and make you a kicking ass, lean machine.
Please feel free to MeFiMail me if you have any questions about weight training, because it's my personal mission to get chicks to lift weights (because of how happy I suspect it will make you).
posted by telegraph at 3:09 PM on March 13, 2011 [2 favorites]
I like to do bike-run work outs with a partner. One person bikes while the other runs, and the two switch off repeatedly over the course of the workout. The nice thing about this is that both participants get a pretty serious workout (perhaps too serious--if you're not cardio-oriented this probably isn't the most fun activity you could pick), and yet they don't need to be at the same fitness level; the weaker person simply spends more time biking, while the stronger one runs more.
posted by Maxa at 3:20 PM on March 13, 2011
posted by Maxa at 3:20 PM on March 13, 2011
Best answer: I've been lifting with my girlfriend for a long time. We don't do the exact same routine right now, although we used to, and we still do many of the same movements. The nature of lifting weights -- whether you're doing it for general strength/fitness or for a sport like weightlifting, powerlifting, or strongman -- is eminently scalable.
But the fact that you have limited range of motion in your hip gave me pause. Not knowing the details about your condition, I can only speculate, but my guess would be you can probably still lift in one way or another -- and possibly even improve your mobility by doing so -- and so you shouldn't dismiss all of the important lifts that involve that joint (and most of them do) offhand. However, you should make sure you're being careful and keeping your injury in mind.
posted by Anatoly Pisarenko at 3:29 PM on March 13, 2011
But the fact that you have limited range of motion in your hip gave me pause. Not knowing the details about your condition, I can only speculate, but my guess would be you can probably still lift in one way or another -- and possibly even improve your mobility by doing so -- and so you shouldn't dismiss all of the important lifts that involve that joint (and most of them do) offhand. However, you should make sure you're being careful and keeping your injury in mind.
posted by Anatoly Pisarenko at 3:29 PM on March 13, 2011
If you have access to a stable, dressage could be an option. It does take strength and endurance even though the horse does most of the work.
posted by amtho at 4:30 PM on March 13, 2011
posted by amtho at 4:30 PM on March 13, 2011
Best answer: I'm a member at a local boxing/MMA gym. The group classes are actually mostly attended by females (kickboxing, cardio muay-thai, boxing conditioning), but I notice quite a few couples attending together. These classes are generally pretty easy to modify for your fitness needs. For example, you would do push-ups on your knees, punch the bag more slowly, or take more time in between your kicks. Everyone goes at their own speed. Depth perception shouldn't be an issue, you're punching a bag and it doesn't move all that much. Hip mobility could be an issue for kicks, but there is a modification for that too, or you can take a boxing only class. The instructors should be more than willing to give you modifications.
Spinning was my other recommendation. The thing about spinning is that no one knows whether or not you really turned the knob to the highest possible resistance, so you can fake it until you make it. Mountain biking could work too... my husband places easily in the top 10% nationally at long distance triathlons, and I am fit but will never be fast. We're pretty even on the MTB, as long as he has a super heavy mountain bike, a loaded backpack, and I have my light bike. This also works if we ride on the road... I use my road bike and he uses a mountain bike to create extra work for himself.
posted by smalls at 4:44 PM on March 13, 2011 [1 favorite]
Spinning was my other recommendation. The thing about spinning is that no one knows whether or not you really turned the knob to the highest possible resistance, so you can fake it until you make it. Mountain biking could work too... my husband places easily in the top 10% nationally at long distance triathlons, and I am fit but will never be fast. We're pretty even on the MTB, as long as he has a super heavy mountain bike, a loaded backpack, and I have my light bike. This also works if we ride on the road... I use my road bike and he uses a mountain bike to create extra work for himself.
posted by smalls at 4:44 PM on March 13, 2011 [1 favorite]
Best answer: Oh! I forgot to say (as if my answer wasn't long enough already)... if you do go the boxing/kickboxing route, he may have an edge on you fitness-wise, but you might actually have the edge when it comes to doing punching combos. This kind of thing translates well for people who are used to learning dance/aerobics steps. (I am not one of those people!)
posted by smalls at 4:49 PM on March 13, 2011 [1 favorite]
posted by smalls at 4:49 PM on March 13, 2011 [1 favorite]
Whiffleball or badminton.
posted by vitabellosi at 5:06 PM on March 13, 2011
posted by vitabellosi at 5:06 PM on March 13, 2011
I am a slow cyclist, and I actually find biking with others pretty stressful and shame inducing. I'd much rather bike alone (or with my kid) and not feel that I have to keep up or pretend I'm not huffing on the hills.
On the other hand, I have become something of an evangelist for boxing. If you can find a boxing gym where you both can either take a class, or even better, share a trainer, you will both progress at your own speeds but can work out (and progress) together. It is not competitive, oddly, for one thing because there will never be an expectation that you will box against your boyfriend (if you are female).
It's been great fun, good self esteem builder, and provides a useful life skill to boot.
posted by serazin at 6:30 PM on March 13, 2011
On the other hand, I have become something of an evangelist for boxing. If you can find a boxing gym where you both can either take a class, or even better, share a trainer, you will both progress at your own speeds but can work out (and progress) together. It is not competitive, oddly, for one thing because there will never be an expectation that you will box against your boyfriend (if you are female).
It's been great fun, good self esteem builder, and provides a useful life skill to boot.
posted by serazin at 6:30 PM on March 13, 2011
Oh and PS, most people who train in boxing are never planning to actually box anybody. You will never get hit unless you are training for the ring. So don't worry about that angle!
posted by serazin at 6:31 PM on March 13, 2011
posted by serazin at 6:31 PM on March 13, 2011
sorry, but if he's an ex-runner and you've got hip problems and are currently doing good to do 12 minutes on a machine at the gym, running is gonna suck, and biking on two bikes may not be much better.
A tandem might be an idea, if he's a responsible "driver," otherwise it'll wreck your relationship (hopefully not literally).
otherwise, at the risk of sounding harsh - get over the thing about the gym. Really. It's an easy, safe place to start.
posted by randomkeystrike at 6:38 PM on March 13, 2011
A tandem might be an idea, if he's a responsible "driver," otherwise it'll wreck your relationship (hopefully not literally).
otherwise, at the risk of sounding harsh - get over the thing about the gym. Really. It's an easy, safe place to start.
posted by randomkeystrike at 6:38 PM on March 13, 2011
Walking. My wife and I walk a lot. I am more athletic then she is (i am an ex soccer player). We walk a lot . IT gives us tons of excersise and time to just talk to each other.
Doing the weights at the gym is also another good one. Its also a good relationship builder. Us guys know that a womans weight routine is different then a mans. PS Its very sexy also lol
posted by majortom1981 at 4:53 AM on March 14, 2011
Doing the weights at the gym is also another good one. Its also a good relationship builder. Us guys know that a womans weight routine is different then a mans. PS Its very sexy also lol
posted by majortom1981 at 4:53 AM on March 14, 2011
Best answer: Us guys know that a womans weight routine is different then a mans.
Us lifters know that it's not. Women have all the same muscles and bones as men and are capable of lifting in exactly the same way. Here is a recent article on strength training for women that the OP may find useful.
posted by Anatoly Pisarenko at 7:33 AM on March 14, 2011
Us lifters know that it's not. Women have all the same muscles and bones as men and are capable of lifting in exactly the same way. Here is a recent article on strength training for women that the OP may find useful.
posted by Anatoly Pisarenko at 7:33 AM on March 14, 2011
Once I saw a couple jogging together where the woman was going at a much slower pace (almost walking) and the man was keeping up a pretty fast pace. Instead of just taking off down the trail and waiting at the end, the guy would run a couple of yards ahead and then turn around to run back to the woman, before turning around and repeating the dash. Sometimes they walked and talked together for a bit before he started running again.
Your guy could take this as an opportunity to do short sprints, or just a faster continuous pace, away from and then towards you as you take the run at your own pace.
posted by pluot at 8:53 AM on March 14, 2011
Your guy could take this as an opportunity to do short sprints, or just a faster continuous pace, away from and then towards you as you take the run at your own pace.
posted by pluot at 8:53 AM on March 14, 2011
What about some kind of partner dancing, like swing dancing? If he's willing to do any kind of dancing, that might be a good match for you guys.
posted by gingerbeer at 7:50 AM on March 15, 2011
posted by gingerbeer at 7:50 AM on March 15, 2011
This thread is closed to new comments.
posted by two lights above the sea at 12:54 PM on March 13, 2011 [1 favorite]