Do good priest blogs exist?
March 11, 2011 11:44 AM   Subscribe

Are there any books/articles/blogs written by priests or ministers about what they have heard in confession?

I just found this AskMe and it rekindled my interest in the subject. I understand that a priest or religious figure should abide by confidentiality guidelines but do any texts exist written about confessions?

Last year I stayed with a priest and asked him about the most grave sin he had heard confessed. He replied that it was a woman who had an abortion. I would very much like to learn about this kind of information (first-hand information, opinions, cases) from a variety of sources, if possible. What is available?
posted by amicamentis to Religion & Philosophy (8 answers total) 4 users marked this as a favorite
 
I think that you're going to be hard-pressed to find books like this, because priests aren't supposed to tell other people about the things told to them during confessions at all. It's called "The Seal Of The Confessional" -- Catholic priests have to keep the things they hear in the Confessional to themselves or else they will be outright excommunicated. The only time they're allowed to share any stories is if they get the confessor's permission, and even then they can't name names.

They deal with this on Law And Order a lot, where the killer confessed to a priest but the priest can't break the seal and it drives the detectives nuts; there's somet truth to that in real life, because if a priest hears about a crime like this, they're still not supposed to tell, but they can urge the confesser to turn themselves in. But yeah, they really, really aren't supposed to be talking about this.

It's possible the priest you spoke to just said something kind of vague -- I'm sure a lot of women have over the years confessed to having abortions, so he wasn't technically singling any one confession out by saying what he said. But you really would have a hard time with any detailed anecdotes like the kind you're looking for, at least from Catholic priests.
posted by EmpressCallipygos at 12:08 PM on March 11, 2011 [2 favorites]


Just reviewed the Askme you linked to -- and I should reiterate that I'm talking specifically about Catholic priests. I can't speak to how other Christian denominations would handle this. But I'm pretty sure that very, very few of them would be writing tell-all books.
posted by EmpressCallipygos at 12:11 PM on March 11, 2011


A priest friend of mine told me something that always made me feel better about going to confession. He said he and just about every priest has heard it all a thousand times. Sinners who think they're "bad" are giving themselves way too much credit. He's heard just as bad stuff from fellow priests.

If you want stories of specific sinners, even sanitized, you'd have to find a defrocked and faithless priest to give that kind of stuff up. The seal of the confessional is pretty strong. For the same reason, there are no statistics kept.

I have known priests who'll give overall impressions of confession in general. Stuff like how lay faithful tend to focus on sins of commission to the exclusion of sins of omission.

Your best bet is to ask a seminary rector who's job it is to train priests. Getting a look at their instructions would give pretty good insight. There also may be survey research of penitents about their experiences of the rite.
posted by cross_impact at 12:26 PM on March 11, 2011


Richard Lischer wrote a book called "Open Secrets" about his first ministry placement in a small town in Illinois. It's not so much "this guy said that in confession" but he talks about some of the pastoral counseling, etc. He is Lutheran.

I recall a famous quote, but of course I'm not digging it up, where someone asked a well-known older priest what he'd learned in 50 years of listening to confessions, and he said, "One, that there are many desperately unhappy people in the world and two, that nobody's a grown-up." (Or something very close to that.) I went to seminary (for an academic and not pastoral degree) and I've heard plenty of confession stories from my pastoral classmates and friends over the years, and I'd say that's pretty accurate in terms of what they tell me people bring to the confessional.

Having someone confess a murder or other CRIME is actually pretty damn rare. (As a lawyer I used to advise pastors and wrote some training materials on mandatory reporting statutes and the "seal of the confessional," although my baseline advice is, "Know what the consequences of your decision are both with the law and with your denominational authorities, but you have GOT to be able to look yourself in the mirror in the morning.") I've had one person tell me about such a situation in 10 years, between friends, trainees in teaching sessions, and clients, and in that case it was a child molester who was also the youth pastor, ugh, who was both confessing to the pastor as a pastor AND as a supervising superior and it was a tremendously awkward situation both legally and pastorally. Anyway, the pastor was able to persuade the man to turn himself in, and that's typically what's taught to ministry students: That part of seeking forgiveness is owning up to the sin, unless owning up to it would do more damage than the original sin, and that means turning oneself in if the sin is also a crime. (Sort-of like AA where you're supposed to make amends to those you hurt, unless the amend-making would be worse than the initial injury.) In some denominations the minister will refuse absolution if the person refuses to turn himself in, which, if it's a very strict "seal of the confessional," may be the strongest threat they have available.

Not too many people come to confession NOT intending to make things right (or at least right-er), since confession isn't a cultural imperative anymore like it used to be for some subcultures in the U.S. People who don't want to confess just DON'T; people who do seek it out are typically trying to live according to the rules of the given denomination.

Some of my friends tell me they get basically two kinds of confessions these days: "I try really hard but I caught myself lying, I'm not always very charitable, I sometimes lose my patience, etc." -- your typical minor sins of every day life seeking spiritual comfort and guidance -- and people having illicit sex in various formats. (These are mostly mainline Protestants.) The illicit sex-havers are more likely to want to go forth and, um, sin more. :) So lots of, "Okay, seriously, if you don't have a firm intention to change, there's not a lot of point to you being here, this isn't just a guilt drop-off station." Adultery is probably the most "serious" sin they hear about, primarily because of the wronged spouse.

Oh, another written source -- legal cases about the pastor-penitent privilege typically either outright tell you what was (or wasn't) supposed to be protected, or else the facts of the surrounding case and the info they're trying to pump the pastor for gives you a pretty good idea. I don't have anything immediately to hand.
posted by Eyebrows McGee at 12:32 PM on March 11, 2011 [5 favorites]


I can't speak to how other Christian denominations would handle this.

I don't think other Christian denominations have anything that is directly analogous to confession.

I've heard that some Anglican/Episcopal congregations still practice the rite of Confession, but if that's true they likely adhere to the same codes of conduct that Catholic priests do, as the tradition stems directly from its use in the Catholic church.

Even if you're talking about "small c" confession, as in the ability to confide in and seek advice from a minister as a spiritual adviser, I'm still pretty sure that basic ethics would preclude such an individual from running a blog airing his or her congregation's dirty laundry.
posted by Sara C. at 1:27 PM on March 11, 2011


Response by poster: I appreciate the answers so far, even if they are mainly that this will be harder than I thought. In the same vein, any recommendations of books/blogs/articles about confession (rules, ethics, unusual situations) are also welcome.
posted by amicamentis at 1:42 PM on March 11, 2011


"I don't think other Christian denominations have anything that is directly analogous to confession."

Most "organized" (and many unorganized) denominations in the U.S. have some form of pastoral counseling (or confession) that is designed to take advantage of the pastor-penitent privilege (that is, the privilege that protects your pastor from being forced to testify against you in court) and most have specific rules about it spelled out pretty clearly. The tradition of private pastoral counseling/confession is very old even in Protestantism, but the existence of the "privilege" pushed denominations that hadn't clarified its boundaries to do so. There are even cases involving Quakers, where everyone is a sort-of "brother-minister." There are also cases touching on most major non-Christian religions in the U.S.

"any recommendations of books/blogs/articles about confession"

Another place to look would definitely be books on pastoral counseling, used in training student ministers. These often have practical scenarios and a discussion of how to handle them. "What if a man comes to you thinking of leaving his wife and three children? blah blah blah" stuff. Unfortunately as I did not go to seminary for pastoral training, I do not actually own any such books and don't know what to recommend! (I just read my friends' out of curiosity.) You might look through the pastoral ministry section at Cokesbury (Christian bookstore that supplies several Protestant seminaries) and see what you find. Such as "Making Confession, Hearing Confession" which seems to discuss a lot of what you want: "While some churches offer opportunities for sacramental confession, others provide counseling outside the sacramental framework. Some confessional practices have been secularized, as in psychotherapy and professional counseling; others find expression in evangelistic crusades and Christian 12-step programs. ... Addressing this broad audience, Kidder - reviews the origins and history of confession from biblical times to the early modern era, - examines contemporary practices of confession, penance, and spiritual direction that have emerged in the twentieth century, and - offers practical considerations for evaluating and improving one's own practice, either as confessor or penitent.
posted by Eyebrows McGee at 2:05 PM on March 11, 2011


There are a multitude of good blogs by priests. As with all blogs, just start with one or two and follow the trail of blogrolls.

Mark Shea just put out a bleg for his readers' stories of confession so you might find some gold there.
posted by KMH at 2:15 AM on March 14, 2011


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