Why do people disappear in the middle of otherwise promising conversations on online dating sites?
March 4, 2011 6:38 AM Subscribe
When I email people on dating sites, half the time they just disappear and stop responding, even if it seems like it's going well. What's going on?
posted by anonymous to Human Relations (30 answers total) 12 users marked this as a favorite
I am a guy in his 30s in NY. I often email women on OKCupid and start a conversation that seems like it's going well -- we are sending interesting, funny and flirtatious emails back and forth, we have definite things and common and stuff to talk about, they may have added me to their favorites -- and then they disappear and stop responding. I'd say this happens around half the time, sometimes at the point when I suggest meeting in real life for drinks or coffee (usually after 3 or 4 emails), other times nothing in particular precipitates it. There's nothing unusual or awkward about the emails, and its not a situation where I reveal my name and anything bad would show up if they Google it.
What's going on when someone does this? Is there another strategy here I'm missing to convert meeting someone online to meeting someone in person? Are we supposed to engage in some kind of "internet relationship", emailing for weeks and months first? Do they just want online pen pals or something? Am I wrong in asking to meet up too quickly?