Is it ever too late to reconnect with an old best friend?
March 3, 2011 5:51 AM Subscribe
Is it ever too late to reconnect with an old best friend? More details inside.
posted by anonymous to human relations (13 answers total) 2 users marked this as a favorite
I used to have a best friend - P. He was awesome and we had the best times together, just the two of us but also with his boyfriend and other mutual friends. We saw each other several times a week, every weekend, went on vacations together, went out, stayed in, laughed and had tons of fun. I was in my late teens and he was in his early twenties.
Then one day we were at a party with a mutual friend, N, and I met one of N's acquaintances, B, and we got along well. We started to hang out together - all the while I was still best friends with P. So here is the problem: P didn't really like B. Also, at this time, B and I and some other friends started doing drugs recreationally on the weekends. P didn't approve of this. Over the next few months, P and I started to see each other less and less, and I saw B more and more. P and I would still hang out once in a while, but it was never the same as before. I tried to call, arrange for us to hang out, and we did but he never reciprocated and called me. After a while it faded out.
This was three and a half years ago. The first two years, I went out a lot, had friends whom I partied hard with but would only see on the weekends. Then, it got pretty old for me and I started to not want to go out as much. Now, I realize that the people who are my friends I don't really connect with on a weekday basis, even though I try to see them outside of a party setting. I miss the connection I had with P and some of the other people I was close with back then.
I always assumed that it was the drug thing that made P not want to be friends with me anymore, or maybe jealousy over my friendship with B(?) Then a year or so ago I found out that at least now he is good friends with one of my acquiantances, who also does a lot of drugs (more than I ever did). I rarely do it anymore but have not completely stopped (maybe one night every three months). I am still friends with B, though, who has also stopped doing drugs - but again, the connection is just not the same.
So now to the question. Do you think it's possible for me to reconnect with P? We are Facebook friends and I see pictures of P and his boyfriend and other friends, and I just feel really sad that I'm not a part of that anymore. If it's not too late, how should I go about it? If it is, what should I do with my friendship situation of okay-but-not-really-great friends?
Just in case anyone is wondering, I am a girl and P and N are both gay guys. I have a boyfriend and there are no (misdirected) romantic feelings in this, just strong friendship feelings. Also, we all live in the same city. This is anonymous since my MeFi name is the same as other profiles I use with IRL friends.