You are likely to be eaten by a grue
February 26, 2011 8:28 AM Subscribe
What kind of therapy or self-help can I do to stop picturing all sex taking place in a room where I was abused?
posted by anonymous to Human Relations (7 answers total) 1 user marked this as a favorite
I'm a woman. Years ago, I was in a relationship with a man who emotionally and spiritually abused me and sexually assaulted me. I've only come to know this recently, because his behavior read as "romantic," and I was so in love that even when the whole thing was over for years, I figured that it was all my fault for letting it happen.
My first intense sexual experiences were with him, and I have to admit that they were very good. Now, no matter what kind of sex I picture -- even between fictional characters -- I accidentally see it in his bedroom. I see the bed from angles I couldn't have seen it at the time, because weirdly, some of my memories aren't actually from my perspective, but of a third person, like a camera. And whoever is in the sex, it's in his bed, and the window is right there, and all the furniture just so.
I hate it. I assumed it would stop once I had happy sex with someone in a happy, non-dramatic relationship, but time came and went, and that didn't happen.
I am in therapy, but my therapist and I have plenty to talk about for an hour each week without me bringing up anything related to my sexuality, and it's not something that impacts my daily functioning, so I rarely remember that I wanted to ask him about it.
Where is the key to the room that appears around you?
(If you want to answer privately: email@example.com)