Says she likes me but doesnt want to hurt me.
February 19, 2011 5:13 PM Subscribe
We dated, broke it off. Met again yesterday, she says she likes me but is scared of hurting me. Case of paralysis of analysis.
posted by gunners to Human Relations (14 answers total) 2 users marked this as a favorite
Its a colleague from workplace, we do NOT work at the same department. We know each other for about two years now, we dated for short time about a year ago, nothing really happenned. I wasnt able to judge if she wanted to take it further so I didnt make any stronger moves. At the end, she told me that she didnt feel with me the way she should have, so we called it off. I realized that I was too strung up with her, and so to maintain my peace, I cut her off completely except some rare quick hi's in the campus.
I know she is the over thinking types (so am I!), a bit too much thinking. And to make it worse, she has been burnt before in her earlier relationships.
6 months down, she invited me to her birthday party to which i went where her best friend tells me that I should have kissed her and pushed her a bit more. She even subtly tried to push me to go for it again. But, to avoid getting caught in chaos, I just ignored this and let it pass.
Yesterday, 4 months after her birthday, we met at a party. We kept away at the beginning, but got talking about the regular mundane stuff, nothing personal. Since we were pub hopping, she followed me to the next two clubs. Our friends saw us getting along and left us to ourselves! We danced for almost 3 hours and I thought we were just being friends! But before me even realizing what was going in her head, she says : "I wont be taking you home tonight". Well, honestly that was not even on my mind! So I just pushed her a bit to talk her mind out but she did not come up with anything new except that she was worried that if it doesnt work out between us she will end up hurting me. She told me that she really had a great time with me last night. She once again told me that she thinks too much and that this was all due to that. Fair enough! We talked some more. I kissed her. A minute later, she turned around and left.
I called her this evening, but she didn't pick up and didn't even return my call.
So I have three options now:
1. I just cut her off again and swear not to ever get in 50 metres of her to avoid this situation again!
2. I call up her best friend (who is also a friend of mine) and try to figure out whats going on in her mind. I am assuming of course that the best friend will go tell her about my call.
3. I call her up again and tell her I want to see her. But that will just make me look needy and might not take it to the next step.
I know what I want : I want her to not worry about it not working out and just give it a try.