I have been married for less than a year, but have known/dated my wife for almost ten. Our personalities differ quite drastically. I'm patient, thoughtful, slightly emotionally frigid ;) and a staunch skeptic. She's passionate, outspoken, and empathetic. Despite this, we share most of our core moral ideas, and we've always been able to discuss those things about which we disagree. I deeply respect her.
Last month she recognized she couldn't control herself when it came to alcohol, and joined A.A.
I'm thankful she was self-aware enough to make this choice before the consequences of her addiction became too severe. A.A. initially gave me a lot of hope, as they have helped thousands of people and their serenity prayer
is singularly wise.
However the path AA has asked her to take makes me very uncomfortable. As a theistic organization, they demand that she surrender her judgement to (a) God, or face returning to drink. My wife has thrown herself whole-heartedly into this, and has confessed to me that she now believes in a personally-interested god. This is a bit of a shocker, as she's never been particularly "spiritual" as long as I've known her.
Recent discussions on the matter have ended with both of us upset. I am not so much concerned with her conclusions, as I am with her integrity in reaching them. She feels that her confidence in God's existance doesn't need to be justified. I have an almost gutteral feeling that this impass will lead to a weakening of my respect for her, and jeapordizes our relationship.
How do I learn to respect, or at least stop worrying about, her new faith?