Knocked Up Time Machine?

February 2, 2011 5:23 AM

Pregnancy Time Travel: For those of you who have been pregnant, what questions do you wish first-trimester-you could have asked last-trimester-you? And vice versa? Advice you would have given yourself, going in either direction?

I'm not so much looking for "enjoy sleep while you can" type of stuff, more like "what on earth made you think it was ok to wear THOSE pants when you were THAT huge?"

I hope I'm explaining this well... Imagine you're 5 weeks pregnant, all excited and anticipatory/terrified and weepy/nauseated/irritable/delighted, sitting in a room with 39-weeks pregnant you, all huge and sick of it/finally starting to get excited about meeting the babe/depressed/elated/horny/whatever. What kind of conversation do you wish you could have had?

posted by lizifer to Grab Bag (14 answers total)

- 2nd trimester, generally, is the easiest/best. You're not as tired as the first.

- 99% of baby stuff, no matter how adorable it is or how on sale it is, are totally useless. Don't buy them.
posted by k8t at 6:16 AM on February 2, 2011 [3 favorites]

Don't be a hero. You don't actually have to prove anything by working until you go into labor in conference room 8B, even if it makes a good story layer.
posted by chesty_a_arthur at 6:24 AM on February 2, 2011

There is no gold medal for labor and delivery. The only prize in the end is a healthy baby.
posted by cooker girl at 6:36 AM on February 2, 2011 [6 favorites]

Response by poster: To clarify: I'm not looking for pregnancy advice, I'm looking for an actual, imagined conversation between the two "you"s. Most interesting to me are the little trivialities that you would want to discuss with a more-pregnant or less-pregnant version of yourself.

Does that make sense?
posted by lizifer at 6:54 AM on February 2, 2011

1. Being pregnant is not liscense to eat everything you can get your hands on. Cravings are ok, and you can indulge, but within reason. Unless you are starting out underweight, then feel free to have that ensure milkshake twice a day. EXERCISE. Staying active really does make birth easier.
2. If this is your first baby, enjoy the coddling from spouse, coworkers, parents, etc. Especially the ability to take a nap any time you want!
3. Watching your belly jump around as it's tiny occupant does his daily aerobics is pretty freaking awesome.
posted by Mimzy at 7:00 AM on February 2, 2011

Best answer: I would have told the 5-weeks along me to work out more, specifically in the area of upper body strength. I sure could have used stronger arms and shoulders once jr. arrived. In terms of advice for the 39-weeks along me, I would have told myself not to worry about my lack of weight gain, and that every pregnancy is different. I spent a whole lot of time stressing about not gaining weight for most of my pregnancy (I topped out at 15 pounds total), and jr. was born at a very healthy 7 lb 7 oz.
posted by Go Banana at 7:01 AM on February 2, 2011

I'm so happy I kept up the exercise while pregnant. I didn't get as much as I had hoped so by the last few months it was mostly walking, prenatal yoga once a week and once or twice a week swimming. I should have gone to the pregnant ladies water aerobics class, though. It would have been nice to meet more people due around the same time.

I also should have gotten more informed about both breastfeeding and c-sections/recovery.

You need about six seasonally appropriate newborn outfits as everything else will just hang out in the drawer until they quickly size out of it.
posted by amanda at 7:09 AM on February 2, 2011

Don't gain so much weight, it's impossible to take off! You really don't need to eat ice cream every day for the baby's health.

Once the baby comes, you will forget all about the first trimester, it's a different lifetime. You're not even the same person.

Bask in everyone's well-wishes, get out as much as you can, exercise, love your spouse, don't buy anything! KEEP ALL THE TAGS ON BABY CLOTHES YOU RECEIVE UNTIL YOU ACTUALLY USE THEM! You will only figure out what works for you once the baby comes, so don't think you have the best ideas of how to do things now, in your newly pregnant state!

Don't try to control anything, it'll never work out like you want. Labor, breastfeeding, sleep-deprivation, it's all so much harder than you can even begin to fathom. You will know when you go into labor...don't incessantly look up "symptoms of labor" online every time you feel a little twinge!

The first 6 weeks after birth are very hard and kind of traumatic, no one will tell you this. EVERYBODY goes through it. Not a lot of people admit it.

Everything I said sounds so negative! Having a baby truly is amazing. And hard. Enjoy your life now without a little mini-mi literally attached to you 24/7!

CONGRATULATIONS!!
posted by katypickle at 7:27 AM on February 2, 2011

Best answer: I'd tell 5 week me that I don't have to be throwing up all the time. There is medication for that. It's not worth going 9 months of puking multiple times a day. Get the medication NOW.

I'd also tell 5 week me to go for daily walks. Not just for the exercise but for the fresh air and mood booster it is.

I would tell 39 week me that I look awesome!
posted by Sassyfras at 7:36 AM on February 2, 2011

Best answer: From after-giving-birth-me to 5-week-me:
1. Enjoy being able to tie your shoes. That won't last!
2. The birth probably won't go like you think, but once the baby is here, it won't really matter.
3. There is no shame in needing pain relief when you're in labor.
4. Most of the emotions you have right now are because your hormones are going into overdrive. Don't panic. You'll feel a lot more like yourself in the second trimester.
5. Have at least one maternity outfit that makes you feel good when you look in the mirror. This will be very important later.

Good luck, lizifer! Enjoy the ride!
posted by tuesdayschild at 7:44 AM on February 2, 2011

Best answer: Second trimester me to first trimester me: Drink more water!
Post partum me to third trimester me: Sleep when you can! Do not push it!
posted by frecklefaerie at 7:46 AM on February 2, 2011

Oh geez, I'm at 37 weeks right now. This is what I would tell myself:

- Talk to a physical therapist as soon as it hurts to walk. I ended up getting good advice about how to get out of bed without hurting myself and a few things to wear under my clothes to make me more comfortable.
- In fact, the second anything gets uncomfortable talk to a doctor. I thought that pain and suffering were just a part of pregnancy, but there are wonderful medicines and technologies out there to help you eat better, sleep better, and feel better. There will still be aches and pain, but there is no reason to be miserable for months and weeks at a time.
- If you want to do major cleaning do it before week 32. After a while it gets so difficult to stand and repeatedly bend over that you'll only be able to do about 45 minutes at a time and it will take forever and leave you exhausted. I needed major motivation to get started, but friends have been really generous with their time and help me make decisions and carry things.
- Take lots of pictures! This only happens once.
- If you are starving do not beat yourself up for buying take-out. Just feed yourself and the baby.
- Say yes to lots of outings as long as you feel up to it. You may think you have plenty of time, but even trips to a sporting event or concert get to be too much sooner than you think.
- Pick a song to sing to your baby and have your spouse do the same. It's a good way to bond and I'm told that she/he will remember it once they are born and it will bring down their blood pressure and heart-rate when they are crying.
posted by Alison at 8:04 AM on February 2, 2011

This might just be specific to me, but - don't ignore the pain in your hips, it's only going to get worse. Ask for a referral to a physio now!
posted by goo at 8:15 AM on February 2, 2011

I would tell my 36 week+ pregnant self: Yes, those belly pictures are starting to feel old and make you feel dumb, but don't quit now! Later, you will regret not having any pictures of yourself in your last month of pregnancy.

(I just burned out and now I'm sad I don't have any pictures of myself at my most pregnant.)
posted by peep at 8:25 AM on February 2, 2011