How can I find someone in Thailand, who probably doesn't want to be found, without having to contact the one person who can contact him?
posted by peagood to Grab Bag (8 answers total) 4 users marked this as a favorite
I am trying to help my mother contact my cousin, her sister's son - but without making this my new part-time job or inserting myself any farther than offering her the information I can find for her to use in her attempts.
Googling his name + various things hasn't helped, and the Consulate numbers that I found online went nowhere (as in, nobody answered either the toll-free or the direct line when my mother called today).
A few years ago, my cousin moved from California to Thailand. He gave up everything he owned, and moved there with only the clothes on his back. He was formerly a partner in a law firm, and when contacted today, they described his departure: He retired - wound up his work, made plans, followed through. He sold his home, donated everything he owned to Goodwill, turned in his car and his keys and moved without a forwarding address with only the shorts and tee-shirt he was wearing. He hasn't renewed his professional licenses or anything since. He was very, very wealthy and can no doubt afford a good life anywhere. At one time he confessed to me that life in Thailand suited his proclivities, and knowing what they are, I understand a why he's happily ensconced there and doesn't particularly want to be found.
The only way his former firm, or anyone, can contact him is through his brother who will email him. I'm not sure his parents even know how to get hold of him, since he's also trying to escape them, in part. He and I get along well enough to chat - but haven't been close since we were kids. I'm 42, he must be in his fifties now. I think it's been over seven years since we've talked.
I don't want to contact this brother, or his parents - and neither does my mother. To say that there's been bitter feuding is minimizing the magnitude of how angry they all are at each other - and I'm not directly involved, but I'm trying to keep my remove and have successfully extricated all this ugliness from my life and have been uninvolved in the drama for over four years. I'd like to keep it that way.
So, I thought I'd ask: Is there a white pages for Thailand? Does the consulate have a list of all Americans living there, and a way to reach them in case of a family emergency? How can I reach someone there if the toll-free phone number is a lousy way to do it? Is there a special way of Googling beyond his name + Thailand? Short of a private detective, how can he possibly be found/contacted without having to go through the one person who has his email?
It is because of a medical emergency - his sister was just diagnosed with kidney failure and two brain aneurysms, and she wants him to know. Maybe he'd even be a possible donor - but mostly, just so he knows. She doesn't speak to her parents, or her other brother anymore either, since earlier this past year. She doesn't have the use of a computer, though she has two sons who do - but involving two pre-teen boys in this isn't a good plan. The brother in Thailand might not know that she's estranged from the rest of her family, as her other brother and parents were how she stayed in touch, and are generally untrustworthy. She doesn't want them to know of her health problems, but she'd like the emotional support of the one brother she'd still get along with - if he were in the country. She has nobody else in her life, due to some hard knocks, to rely on other than my folks (and by extension, me).
So, thanks, in anticipation of any help. If you can tell me how better I can find him, that's great - I'll try it. If you have a special way to do it, or an "in" and need his name, I suppose I can do that, if you memail me. But I've probably already blown everyone's privacy enough as it is.