Is he into this or not?
January 27, 2011 10:09 AM Subscribe
I'm in a new relationship-like thing but I have no idea what is going on. How do I tell? Should I ask?
posted by ashotinthearm to human relations (30 answers total) 7 users marked this as a favorite
I met a guy a little over a month ago and hit it off with him straight away. We've spent loads of time together since then. The sex is phenomenal, he makes me laugh constantly, and I feel at home when we're together. I like him more and more as I get to know him better, and I think that there is a lot of potential there. I have absolutely no idea how he feels, though; we never talk about what we're doing or what we're looking for, there have been no declarations of love/"love', etc. Here's what I've got to go on:
Ostensibly positive signs:
- I've met lots of his friends and even some of his family already.
- He told me that he's not interested in seeing other people.
- He's very affectionate in private and also in public.
- We have planned things together for several months in the future.
- I have a key to his house.
Probably negative signs:
- He is listed as 'single' on all social networking sites.
- He has never explicitly said that he has feelings for me (though his actions suggest that he does).
- He does not talk to me incessantly; we will go entire days with very little to no contact. However, as I said above, we do see each other quite often (3-5 times a week).
I know that I sound a little neurotic. I have a history of over-talking in relationships; my past partners were all kind of pathologically intent on dissecting every feeling that ever passed between us. I don't think that this was particularly healthy so I'm trying to develop better ways of relating to others, but I do worry that I've gone too far in the opposite direction in this case. I mean, I know it's only been a few weeks, but is it unreasonable to want to know what is and isn't on the table? Or is it really better to wait it out a little and let things develop naturally? Does it sound like he's at least vaguely interested?