How about we recycle your SUV?
January 22, 2011 7:36 PM Subscribe
How to stop a co-worker digging through my trash?
My boyfriend started a new job working in IT support.
There is this lady (an equal) who spends a lot of time making rounds to everyone's trash cans (under their desks and usually while they're on the phone) and digging out anything that can be recycled and then making snide comments about how that person obviously doesn't care about the future of our world (She also drives a huge gas-guzzling SUV).
This irritates everyone and results in someone yelling/swearing at her and telling her to mind her own business. Some people are nicer about it. My boyfriend is still new, so he has kept his mouth shut except for telling her to leave his garbage alone and to stay out of his "personal space".
None of it is stopping this lady.
Tonight, my boyfriend went out for a smoke and came back in - and she had gone through his trash and took out the plastic that his sushi was in (soy sauce dripping everywhere).
According to his co-workers, this lady is a nutbag, talks constantly to whoever will listen (no one). There has some history of her being moved around and not getting along with people because she doesn't stop talking and nagging everyone. And obviously, this takes time away from her doing what she was actually hired to do.
Would it be ridiculous for him to go to H/R or his boss?
How can he get through to someone this determined to go through peoples trash and lecture them?
Also - there are paper recycling bins that the majority of the people use. But she takes all the plastics/cans puts them in a box on her desk and brings them home to sort them.
My boyfriend started a new job working in IT support.
There is this lady (an equal) who spends a lot of time making rounds to everyone's trash cans (under their desks and usually while they're on the phone) and digging out anything that can be recycled and then making snide comments about how that person obviously doesn't care about the future of our world (She also drives a huge gas-guzzling SUV).
This irritates everyone and results in someone yelling/swearing at her and telling her to mind her own business. Some people are nicer about it. My boyfriend is still new, so he has kept his mouth shut except for telling her to leave his garbage alone and to stay out of his "personal space".
None of it is stopping this lady.
Tonight, my boyfriend went out for a smoke and came back in - and she had gone through his trash and took out the plastic that his sushi was in (soy sauce dripping everywhere).
According to his co-workers, this lady is a nutbag, talks constantly to whoever will listen (no one). There has some history of her being moved around and not getting along with people because she doesn't stop talking and nagging everyone. And obviously, this takes time away from her doing what she was actually hired to do.
Would it be ridiculous for him to go to H/R or his boss?
How can he get through to someone this determined to go through peoples trash and lecture them?
Also - there are paper recycling bins that the majority of the people use. But she takes all the plastics/cans puts them in a box on her desk and brings them home to sort them.
bosses/HR already know about her. your boyfriend is new. IT jobs usually have at least one person that is terrible with personal space/social skills. i would counsel my husband against dying on this hill.
posted by nadawi at 7:45 PM on January 22, 2011 [9 favorites]
posted by nadawi at 7:45 PM on January 22, 2011 [9 favorites]
Response by poster: also, she lectures everyone on smoking. And talks about healthy foods out loud to no one for 10-15 minutes straight.
posted by KogeLiz at 7:46 PM on January 22, 2011
posted by KogeLiz at 7:46 PM on January 22, 2011
Can he get a small trashcan that can fit in a locked desk drawer?
posted by epj at 7:50 PM on January 22, 2011
posted by epj at 7:50 PM on January 22, 2011
Personally, I would just ignore her. She's obviously nuts, so nothing she says should have any import w/ your boyfriend. If she actually does some damage, that can definitely be addressed either directly or with your boss. By the sound of it, she'll likely be moved again pretty soon and be someone else's problem.
posted by Gilbert at 7:50 PM on January 22, 2011 [7 favorites]
posted by Gilbert at 7:50 PM on January 22, 2011 [7 favorites]
I'd test the waters via a casual conversation with the boss. I'd say something to my boss along the lines of, "Hey, what's up with Suzanne digging through everyone's trash? Has she always done that?" If the boss shrugs it off and doesn't see it as that big of a deal, that's probably a sign that this battle may not be worth fighting.
posted by pecanpies at 7:51 PM on January 22, 2011 [16 favorites]
posted by pecanpies at 7:51 PM on January 22, 2011 [16 favorites]
yeah, she's annoying, she's self righteous, and she's awful to work around. but, again, everyone around her knows this and things haven't changed. i've learned through a lot of time in IT that even if someone is being a squeakier wheel, there is little to no reason to pipe up yourself unless it's really worth it.
before he runs off to his managers/HR - what does he hope the outcome will be? does he expect the behavior to stop? if so - why? it sounds like this woman has been involved in many confrontations and nothing has been resolved. there's a reason she's allowed to get away with this and he as the new guy probably isn't going to change anything in this situation.
posted by nadawi at 7:51 PM on January 22, 2011 [3 favorites]
before he runs off to his managers/HR - what does he hope the outcome will be? does he expect the behavior to stop? if so - why? it sounds like this woman has been involved in many confrontations and nothing has been resolved. there's a reason she's allowed to get away with this and he as the new guy probably isn't going to change anything in this situation.
posted by nadawi at 7:51 PM on January 22, 2011 [3 favorites]
Response by poster: Thanks for the comment so far.
So I guess the ultimate outcome would be to make her a janitor that can set up her own recycling stations and encourage people to recycle without going through their trash. Or getting rid of her. It's a large employer that has a lot of government contracts - and I think it's one of those places where getting fired is rare.
She does about half the work everyone else does, she's annoying people while they're trying to speak with end-users, invading personal space, etc.
So, it's uncomfortable and makes people on edge.
For the record, I doubt my boyfriend would go to H/R.
He likes his boss - as he's laid back. He'll probably do what pecanpies suggested.
posted by KogeLiz at 8:05 PM on January 22, 2011
So I guess the ultimate outcome would be to make her a janitor that can set up her own recycling stations and encourage people to recycle without going through their trash. Or getting rid of her. It's a large employer that has a lot of government contracts - and I think it's one of those places where getting fired is rare.
She does about half the work everyone else does, she's annoying people while they're trying to speak with end-users, invading personal space, etc.
So, it's uncomfortable and makes people on edge.
For the record, I doubt my boyfriend would go to H/R.
He likes his boss - as he's laid back. He'll probably do what pecanpies suggested.
posted by KogeLiz at 8:05 PM on January 22, 2011
I wouldn't go to HR or lock up my trash. I'd either ignore it or, even better, get a small box or trash can next to the big one and put the plastic stuff in the small one. That way the plastic lady won't have dig through the big bin.
posted by bluedaisy at 8:08 PM on January 22, 2011 [2 favorites]
posted by bluedaisy at 8:08 PM on January 22, 2011 [2 favorites]
You cannot control crazy people. You can only control how much of your time you spend thinking of them. Do you spend an inordinate amount of time at your boyfriend's office? If your boyfriend is laid back and is capable of handling it, what has you so worried? Breathe, be thankful you don't have to work with this woman, and try not to less this stress you out.
posted by ThePinkSuperhero at 8:08 PM on January 22, 2011 [4 favorites]
posted by ThePinkSuperhero at 8:08 PM on January 22, 2011 [4 favorites]
"But she takes all the plastics/cans puts them in a box on her desk and brings them home to sort them."
Why not put recyclables there let her see you do this. No reson to go through your trash.
posted by starvinron at 8:09 PM on January 22, 2011
Why not put recyclables there let her see you do this. No reson to go through your trash.
posted by starvinron at 8:09 PM on January 22, 2011
Your boyfriend should take any trash he has to the men's room and throw it out there where she (hopefully??) won't see it.
posted by kitty teeth at 8:12 PM on January 22, 2011 [5 favorites]
posted by kitty teeth at 8:12 PM on January 22, 2011 [5 favorites]
In the absence of a proper recycling program, make the trash unpleasant (but not harmful) to deal with. Something like pencil sharpenings with casually-spilled orange juice mixed in should dissuade almost everyone.
Alternatively, leave notes in the trash.
posted by scruss at 8:13 PM on January 22, 2011 [2 favorites]
Alternatively, leave notes in the trash.
posted by scruss at 8:13 PM on January 22, 2011 [2 favorites]
I would first try sorting the recyclables and leaving them out for her separately -- but only after explicitly telling her (in a direct but polite way) that this is on the condition that she doesn't touch the rest of the trash.
If she is unable to control herself to do that, and presuming that the boss is unable or unwilling to do something about it as well, I would lock up the trash as suggested upthread.
posted by scody at 8:23 PM on January 22, 2011
If she is unable to control herself to do that, and presuming that the boss is unable or unwilling to do something about it as well, I would lock up the trash as suggested upthread.
posted by scody at 8:23 PM on January 22, 2011
Response by poster: If your boyfriend is laid back and is capable of handling it,
Yeah... he's not really good in these situations. But I guess he's in good company with others who don't like personal space invaded.
I guess my question is, why can't she just stop digging through peoples trash when they ask her not to? Why is she nagging everyone about their personal habits? Why doesn't she realize that not everyone has the same opinions/lifestyle/hopes as her?
I'm guess I'm personally more curious about why people act like this and how to get through to them. Maybe a nice way of explaining why it's not appropriate?
Is it appropriate? Do people do things like this lady?
Is it really that big of a deal? It would irritate me too...
posted by KogeLiz at 8:23 PM on January 22, 2011
Yeah... he's not really good in these situations. But I guess he's in good company with others who don't like personal space invaded.
I guess my question is, why can't she just stop digging through peoples trash when they ask her not to? Why is she nagging everyone about their personal habits? Why doesn't she realize that not everyone has the same opinions/lifestyle/hopes as her?
I'm guess I'm personally more curious about why people act like this and how to get through to them. Maybe a nice way of explaining why it's not appropriate?
Is it appropriate? Do people do things like this lady?
Is it really that big of a deal? It would irritate me too...
posted by KogeLiz at 8:23 PM on January 22, 2011
If she's been moved around already she's not going anywhere so complaining to the boss or HR is unlikely to do anything other than point out to them that he may be high strung.
Your boyfriend needs to start treating her like the eccentric that she is. Some people are not well. There are many worse things she could be doing besides trying to help the planet. She's going about it all wrong, but it's all she's got. Let her have it. There is no getting through to her, just like it doesn't seem to be getting through to you that everyone is different. That's life.
posted by FlamingBore at 8:43 PM on January 22, 2011 [3 favorites]
Your boyfriend needs to start treating her like the eccentric that she is. Some people are not well. There are many worse things she could be doing besides trying to help the planet. She's going about it all wrong, but it's all she's got. Let her have it. There is no getting through to her, just like it doesn't seem to be getting through to you that everyone is different. That's life.
posted by FlamingBore at 8:43 PM on January 22, 2011 [3 favorites]
I had a boss who was like this. Class act all the way except for recycling. We had communal trash cans, but she still snarked when I threw plastic bottles in the trash. She toned it down when I told her that recycling plastic was about as bad for the environment as throwing it away. If it was worth it to recycle that stuff, why wouldn't homeless people pull plastic out of your trash along with the aluminum cans? Just showing someone you've thought about this can give them enough pause to make them knock it off with you.
posted by Doublewhiskeycokenoice at 8:44 PM on January 22, 2011 [1 favorite]
posted by Doublewhiskeycokenoice at 8:44 PM on January 22, 2011 [1 favorite]
I would just move my garbage can out of my area when she is making the rounds so she can dig through it to her hearts content without making a mess or bugging me. I would also consider bringing my garbage to her area to "help out"
posted by Ad hominem at 8:48 PM on January 22, 2011 [3 favorites]
posted by Ad hominem at 8:48 PM on January 22, 2011 [3 favorites]
"I'm guess I'm personally more curious about why people act like this and how to get through to them."
That's a good question, and a good way for you (and the bf) to find the answer to this.
This is important to her for some reason... You'll probably never know why. Her behavior, although strange and intrusive, is not harming anyone in a significant manner, and her philosophy is not a bad thing, all in all.
The continuum of Healthy to Mentally Ill has a lot of stops along the way, her box of crayons is short a couple of colors.
If I were having to deal with her, I would, like we should with everyone in our lives, try to find a way to bring something positive to her life (as a couple of folks have mentioned), and lighten up a bit around the response to the behaviors.
posted by HuronBob at 8:51 PM on January 22, 2011 [1 favorite]
That's a good question, and a good way for you (and the bf) to find the answer to this.
This is important to her for some reason... You'll probably never know why. Her behavior, although strange and intrusive, is not harming anyone in a significant manner, and her philosophy is not a bad thing, all in all.
The continuum of Healthy to Mentally Ill has a lot of stops along the way, her box of crayons is short a couple of colors.
If I were having to deal with her, I would, like we should with everyone in our lives, try to find a way to bring something positive to her life (as a couple of folks have mentioned), and lighten up a bit around the response to the behaviors.
posted by HuronBob at 8:51 PM on January 22, 2011 [1 favorite]
It sounds like there are no recycling bins at the office. Maybe get her started on setting that up, or just get a bin and let her take care of it. Give her something positive in her life -- she doesn't sound like she has a lot else going on. No point in trying to make her behave differently given the same set of circumstances.
posted by amtho at 8:56 PM on January 22, 2011 [2 favorites]
posted by amtho at 8:56 PM on January 22, 2011 [2 favorites]
I bet her town has some sort of rewards program for recycling, like RecycleBank. Someone at my job takes home recyclables from the communal trash cans so he can get more rewards. But he doesn't go into personal trash.
I'd just move my trash can out from under the desk and pointedly ignore the lecturing. No matter what job, there's always one strange person around.
posted by ladygypsy at 8:59 PM on January 22, 2011
I'd just move my trash can out from under the desk and pointedly ignore the lecturing. No matter what job, there's always one strange person around.
posted by ladygypsy at 8:59 PM on January 22, 2011
Why doesn't she realize that not everyone has the same opinions/lifestyle/hopes as her?
...Do people do things like this lady?
Some people are just wackos. An old roommate of mine was super-into recycling. One time she pulled a mostly-eaten box of extremely old, stale cereal out of the garbage because she didn't want it to go to waste. Another time she took all the empty plastic bottles a dude was collecting for an art project and threw them into the recycling (somehow totally missing the point that they were going to get repurposed and therefore not thrown out).
Does it make it right or OK? Absolutely not. But some people are just clueless or so severely wrapped up in their own drama to the point that they engage in some really asinine behavior. Sometimes it's easier if you pretend that they're mentally deficient children.
However, if it were me, I'd be tempted to fill my trashcan with something really unpleasant to dig through. Like boogery tissues. Or jello.
posted by phunniemee at 9:04 PM on January 22, 2011 [1 favorite]
...Do people do things like this lady?
Some people are just wackos. An old roommate of mine was super-into recycling. One time she pulled a mostly-eaten box of extremely old, stale cereal out of the garbage because she didn't want it to go to waste. Another time she took all the empty plastic bottles a dude was collecting for an art project and threw them into the recycling (somehow totally missing the point that they were going to get repurposed and therefore not thrown out).
Does it make it right or OK? Absolutely not. But some people are just clueless or so severely wrapped up in their own drama to the point that they engage in some really asinine behavior. Sometimes it's easier if you pretend that they're mentally deficient children.
However, if it were me, I'd be tempted to fill my trashcan with something really unpleasant to dig through. Like boogery tissues. Or jello.
posted by phunniemee at 9:04 PM on January 22, 2011 [1 favorite]
I'd start a logbook and start documenting the crap out of this. Particularly if she makes a mess while doing it.
posted by St. Alia of the Bunnies at 9:06 PM on January 22, 2011 [2 favorites]
posted by St. Alia of the Bunnies at 9:06 PM on January 22, 2011 [2 favorites]
You cannot fight crazy. But you can mitigate its effect by playing into it. Crazy does even worse with crazy than normal people do. It is like a bully. You need to either ignore or fight back hard.
If I was in a really pissed off mood, I would walk over to her desk and dump the contents on it and tell her to stay the fuck away from me and my garbage. I would tell her that at 11:00 am every day you were going to come dump whatever contents of your garbage on her desk and anyone else's garbage you could carry too. Then, one day I would do it and then get in her grill and tell her to lay off.
Or, I would simply put the can out of my cube or away from my desk so that when she does go through it, it is not in a place that will interrupt what I am doing.
posted by AugustWest at 9:45 PM on January 22, 2011 [4 favorites]
If I was in a really pissed off mood, I would walk over to her desk and dump the contents on it and tell her to stay the fuck away from me and my garbage. I would tell her that at 11:00 am every day you were going to come dump whatever contents of your garbage on her desk and anyone else's garbage you could carry too. Then, one day I would do it and then get in her grill and tell her to lay off.
Or, I would simply put the can out of my cube or away from my desk so that when she does go through it, it is not in a place that will interrupt what I am doing.
posted by AugustWest at 9:45 PM on January 22, 2011 [4 favorites]
i'd probably stop using my trashcan and start using one in the kitchen or other communal spaces.
posted by macinchik at 9:50 PM on January 22, 2011 [6 favorites]
posted by macinchik at 9:50 PM on January 22, 2011 [6 favorites]
or i'd start using her trashcan instead.
posted by macinchik at 9:51 PM on January 22, 2011 [4 favorites]
posted by macinchik at 9:51 PM on January 22, 2011 [4 favorites]
So, this lady has some possibly irrational behaviors irt recycling/going through people's garbage cans. There have been a few good responses about how to handle this, and some pretty downright idiotic assertions... "crazy... nutjob, wacko, nuts".
FWIW, an observation: you start out asking a 3rd party question, with some extraneous details (she drives a SUV, only does half the work of others...) and then sort of change it mid-stream.
Here is a counter question: Has anyone asked the coworker what would keep her from going through their garbage? Yeah, it is a bit of a nuisance that anyone would have to change their habits to accommodate someone who is acting a bit obsessively, but... if the accommodation turns out to be easy then it well may be worth it.
posted by edgeways at 10:11 PM on January 22, 2011 [4 favorites]
FWIW, an observation: you start out asking a 3rd party question, with some extraneous details (she drives a SUV, only does half the work of others...) and then sort of change it mid-stream.
Here is a counter question: Has anyone asked the coworker what would keep her from going through their garbage? Yeah, it is a bit of a nuisance that anyone would have to change their habits to accommodate someone who is acting a bit obsessively, but... if the accommodation turns out to be easy then it well may be worth it.
posted by edgeways at 10:11 PM on January 22, 2011 [4 favorites]
We had someone like this at a place I worked, who would stop in at random people's cubicles and start talking about off-the-wall, non-sequitur stuff. Usually while you were handling a customer call, or handling an issue with a customer or supplier...you know, actual work-related stuff that helped the company be profitable and justified your presence there. Once he started doing this while I was in a delicate negotiation with a customer over a timetable for delivery of an order, and made himself a big enough nuisance that after I was off the phone I told him to Fuck Off in very explicit terms. And he did, and I never had that problem with him again. So, why can't your boyfriend tell this loser to Fuck Off and hope she does?
posted by motown missile at 10:35 PM on January 22, 2011 [1 favorite]
posted by motown missile at 10:35 PM on January 22, 2011 [1 favorite]
I'd ignore her. It's an office and I really don't have an expectation of privacy with anything that doesn't have a lock. In fact, I don't really think the stuff I can lock is private space either. If my boss wanted to go through my files, it's the company's property not mine. So really, getting over the idea that you've got private space in the company property is a good thing. (Also, the company laptop? Not private.)
However, if your partner can't do that then I go with the much less mature response of snotty tissues. You need to fill that trash can with the nastiest, loogy-filled snot rags you can muster out of your nose or lungs. Bring your snot from home if you must. Slimy, green snot, mustard mucus. It probably won't deter her, because this is her little pocket of nut-jobbery; however, it will be a token protest.
posted by 26.2 at 10:35 PM on January 22, 2011 [1 favorite]
However, if your partner can't do that then I go with the much less mature response of snotty tissues. You need to fill that trash can with the nastiest, loogy-filled snot rags you can muster out of your nose or lungs. Bring your snot from home if you must. Slimy, green snot, mustard mucus. It probably won't deter her, because this is her little pocket of nut-jobbery; however, it will be a token protest.
posted by 26.2 at 10:35 PM on January 22, 2011 [1 favorite]
Added bonus to machinchik's kitchen suggestion: When the workplace has a pest control problem, which seems inevitable with a one-woman waste management facility that leaves soy sauce messes behind? Your boyfriend will already be in the habit of doing what they'll ask everyone to do.
posted by gnomeloaf at 10:41 PM on January 22, 2011
posted by gnomeloaf at 10:41 PM on January 22, 2011
Well, ideally, he could just tell her he doesn't like it, but it seems that's been tried.
At a former job, I had a wastebasket under my desk. Every day around 2, the cleaning service would come around emptying everyone's can and it would just drive me nuts. Maybe I'm weird, but I don't like being asked to move out of MY desk or interrupted to hand out the basket. (I know, it's a perfectly reasonable request. Somehow that made it even more irritating, because I'd have felt like an asshole to say no.) It also wasn't the same person every time, so they wouldn't just learn to leave mine alone.
I just got rid of it. I used one of my stacked "inbox" trays for paper recycle, and everything else I took to the lunchroom trash next time I got up. If your boyfriend smokes, that's several times a day he gets up, and it shouldn't amount to more than a handful each time.
I haven't had a trash can at my desk since then. I kind of LIKE not accumulating nasty food waste and soda cans and crap in my work space. Also, I try not to eat lunch at my desk anyway. It's a bad habit. Take a break.
posted by ctmf at 11:08 PM on January 22, 2011 [1 favorite]
At a former job, I had a wastebasket under my desk. Every day around 2, the cleaning service would come around emptying everyone's can and it would just drive me nuts. Maybe I'm weird, but I don't like being asked to move out of MY desk or interrupted to hand out the basket. (I know, it's a perfectly reasonable request. Somehow that made it even more irritating, because I'd have felt like an asshole to say no.) It also wasn't the same person every time, so they wouldn't just learn to leave mine alone.
I just got rid of it. I used one of my stacked "inbox" trays for paper recycle, and everything else I took to the lunchroom trash next time I got up. If your boyfriend smokes, that's several times a day he gets up, and it shouldn't amount to more than a handful each time.
I haven't had a trash can at my desk since then. I kind of LIKE not accumulating nasty food waste and soda cans and crap in my work space. Also, I try not to eat lunch at my desk anyway. It's a bad habit. Take a break.
posted by ctmf at 11:08 PM on January 22, 2011 [1 favorite]
This poor woman probably has OCD. There are medications for that. Too bad you have to work with her. I don't even want to think about her home! The log book idea is good, but maintain it at home and only use it if things become unbearable. I like the idea of starting an in office recycling project and putting her in charge. The key is to set it up so that she can't go through the actual garbage. Proper bins and all that.
posted by Katjusa Roquette at 12:00 AM on January 23, 2011 [1 favorite]
posted by Katjusa Roquette at 12:00 AM on January 23, 2011 [1 favorite]
Seconding motown. "I've tried subtle, but you don't get it. Fuck off. Did you hear me? Fuck off, or I'm going to dump my trash on your desk every day and you can play batshit insane in your own space, on your own time. Fuck. Off."
posted by obiwanwasabi at 12:02 AM on January 23, 2011
posted by obiwanwasabi at 12:02 AM on January 23, 2011
get everyone to leave notes on her SUV about what a hypocrite she is about the environment and that everyone else will recycle when she gets rid of her gas guzzler.
posted by violetk at 12:15 AM on January 23, 2011 [2 favorites]
posted by violetk at 12:15 AM on January 23, 2011 [2 favorites]
Is she from Seattle by any chance? I'm from there and cultish devotion to recycling was so culturally ingrained that it was pretty common for people to go through other people's trash at house parties to retrieve and rinse the recyclables (although doing so was a kindness because in Seattle you could be fined if recyclables were found in your regular trash).
So when I moved to Las Vegas where almost no one recycles (recycling bins aren't even available in many communities and businesses) it was a bit of a culture shock. I've lived here four years and I still wince when I throw things in the trash that were legally mandated to be recycled in Seattle.
So, she might be crazy/OCD/etc., but if she grew up somewhere like Seattle that may be driving some of her behavior.
posted by Jacqueline at 12:26 AM on January 23, 2011
So when I moved to Las Vegas where almost no one recycles (recycling bins aren't even available in many communities and businesses) it was a bit of a culture shock. I've lived here four years and I still wince when I throw things in the trash that were legally mandated to be recycled in Seattle.
So, she might be crazy/OCD/etc., but if she grew up somewhere like Seattle that may be driving some of her behavior.
posted by Jacqueline at 12:26 AM on January 23, 2011
Back when I worked at a software company, the CEO once sent out a company-wide email telling us not to call any of the software engineers. Apparently, his administrative assistant had run across some article that said that every time a software engineer was interrupted, it took about 20 minutes for them to get back into the rhythm of productive coding.
Perhaps an article could be found (and shown to the CEO) to support the argument that this woman's daily rifling and verbal harassment are not only affecting the otherwise peaceful work environment, but actual employee productivity as well.
You might even tell the powers-that-be:
"I know she thinks she's doing a good thing—recycling and all—but really what she is doing is disturbing others—their concentration, their workflow, their telephone conversations with customers..."
(Or, take a screenshot of this page, print it out, highlight the text in the upper-right-hand corner, and leave it on the windshield of her SUV.)
posted by blueberry at 3:21 AM on January 23, 2011 [2 favorites]
Perhaps an article could be found (and shown to the CEO) to support the argument that this woman's daily rifling and verbal harassment are not only affecting the otherwise peaceful work environment, but actual employee productivity as well.
You might even tell the powers-that-be:
"I know she thinks she's doing a good thing—recycling and all—but really what she is doing is disturbing others—their concentration, their workflow, their telephone conversations with customers..."
(Or, take a screenshot of this page, print it out, highlight the text in the upper-right-hand corner, and leave it on the windshield of her SUV.)
posted by blueberry at 3:21 AM on January 23, 2011 [2 favorites]
Pour bleach on it? Or use another trash can. Good luck...
posted by SockyMcPuppet at 3:49 AM on January 23, 2011
posted by SockyMcPuppet at 3:49 AM on January 23, 2011
Get everyone to leave notes on her SUV about what a hypocrite she is ...
in everyone's trash, so she finds it.
But seriously: instead of devising all sorts of retaliations, I'd probably make it my hobby to have my own trash really well in order, according to her system. If she nevertheless would meddle with it, I could call her out on that: that the sorting is a front and that what she actually is doing is to meddle with other people's stuff. But I probably wouldn't, because
This poor woman probably has OCD
posted by Namlit at 4:13 AM on January 23, 2011
in everyone's trash, so she finds it.
But seriously: instead of devising all sorts of retaliations, I'd probably make it my hobby to have my own trash really well in order, according to her system. If she nevertheless would meddle with it, I could call her out on that: that the sorting is a front and that what she actually is doing is to meddle with other people's stuff. But I probably wouldn't, because
This poor woman probably has OCD
posted by Namlit at 4:13 AM on January 23, 2011
There's an anecdote in Other People's Habits about a woman on a psych ward who got into the habit of stripping naked, declaring herself the Pillsbury Dough Boy and demanding that employees of the hospital poke her in the stomach. They tried a lot of carrot and stick strategies to get her to stop, but the problem only intensified until the behavior modification guy got the idea that maybe they should just ignore her. All the staff were instructed to act as if nothing were out of the ordinary when they she went into this routine. She soon stopped.
I'm thinking that this woman really doesn't care about the trash. Rather, it sounds like she is a compulsive talker who's frustrated that nobody will listen to her under normal circumstances, and has learned that pissing people off is a way to get them to engage. If I'm right, then any sort of engagement that results from this activity is going to reinforce it. Getting mad will make it happen more. Being friendly will make it happen more. Explaining why it's wrong will make it happen more. The only thing that will allow this habit to die is to act as if nothing the least bit out of the ordinary is going on.
posted by jon1270 at 5:04 AM on January 23, 2011 [2 favorites]
I'm thinking that this woman really doesn't care about the trash. Rather, it sounds like she is a compulsive talker who's frustrated that nobody will listen to her under normal circumstances, and has learned that pissing people off is a way to get them to engage. If I'm right, then any sort of engagement that results from this activity is going to reinforce it. Getting mad will make it happen more. Being friendly will make it happen more. Explaining why it's wrong will make it happen more. The only thing that will allow this habit to die is to act as if nothing the least bit out of the ordinary is going on.
posted by jon1270 at 5:04 AM on January 23, 2011 [2 favorites]
Negotiate the second trash can and make sure it is out of immediate proximity. She is wacky, but acceptable wacky i.e., not doing direct harm. Do not confront, just distract and redirect. Believe me there are worst situations like a micromanaging boss who causes your health to fail due to stress. An obsessive co worker redirecting a sense of control to recycling? Heck, you might want to get the whole office to work out a plan to do plastics recycling just to get her out of your cubes. Remember, distract and redirect.
posted by jadepearl at 5:06 AM on January 23, 2011
posted by jadepearl at 5:06 AM on January 23, 2011
It is possible that she is a hoarder. Her version of "recycle" may be code for "I am going to take this home because I may need it later". Hoarders cannot control themselves. Just a thought. Is the interior of her SUV clean or packed with junk? It might be crossing the line to go peek in her vehicle but I would be curious.
posted by futz at 6:45 AM on January 23, 2011 [1 favorite]
posted by futz at 6:45 AM on January 23, 2011 [1 favorite]
"why can't she just stop digging through peoples trash when they ask her not to? Why is she nagging everyone about their personal habits? Why doesn't she realize that not everyone has the same opinions/lifestyle/hopes as her?"
Do you not know any militant anti-smokers? Recently-converted Christians? Uber-breastfeeders? Loud-mouthed vegetarians? The world is FULL of people who CAN'T LET SHIT GO, even though most non-smokers, Christians, breastfeeders, and vegetarians just go about their day without bothering anyone about it. There's always a handful of people who MUST TELL EVERYONE HOW WRONG THEY ARE. They don't even have to be OCD, just really convinced of their own rightness, and often at least a tiny bit insecure in their decision (not always. sometimes it's just the moral superiority talking).
Personally, I'd get her a nice, mid-sized plastic trash can for near her desk so it won't leak, and then I'd toss all my recyclables in there (no matter how dirty! apparently she doesn't mind cleaning them!) and tell her there's no further reason for her to go in my trash. It may take her a few days to get it, but she will. And I'd mentally reframe it as, "Wow, how convenient that someone's doing all my recycling for me!"
posted by Eyebrows McGee at 6:59 AM on January 23, 2011 [1 favorite]
Do you not know any militant anti-smokers? Recently-converted Christians? Uber-breastfeeders? Loud-mouthed vegetarians? The world is FULL of people who CAN'T LET SHIT GO, even though most non-smokers, Christians, breastfeeders, and vegetarians just go about their day without bothering anyone about it. There's always a handful of people who MUST TELL EVERYONE HOW WRONG THEY ARE. They don't even have to be OCD, just really convinced of their own rightness, and often at least a tiny bit insecure in their decision (not always. sometimes it's just the moral superiority talking).
Personally, I'd get her a nice, mid-sized plastic trash can for near her desk so it won't leak, and then I'd toss all my recyclables in there (no matter how dirty! apparently she doesn't mind cleaning them!) and tell her there's no further reason for her to go in my trash. It may take her a few days to get it, but she will. And I'd mentally reframe it as, "Wow, how convenient that someone's doing all my recycling for me!"
posted by Eyebrows McGee at 6:59 AM on January 23, 2011 [1 favorite]
Mouse traps.
When I train my dog to stay out of the garbage I'll take a simple, cheap mouse trap and bend the metal wire part back (about a 90 degree angle), set it and put it on the edge of the garbage can. When the dog sticks her nose near the can it sets off the trap which just makes a loud snapping noise and flies in the air. Since the wire is bent it can't actually hurt her, it just scares her.
Have your boyfriend make two or three of these modified traps and when he leaves his desk he can set them and put them under the first layer of garbage.
posted by TooFewShoes at 7:33 AM on January 23, 2011
When I train my dog to stay out of the garbage I'll take a simple, cheap mouse trap and bend the metal wire part back (about a 90 degree angle), set it and put it on the edge of the garbage can. When the dog sticks her nose near the can it sets off the trap which just makes a loud snapping noise and flies in the air. Since the wire is bent it can't actually hurt her, it just scares her.
Have your boyfriend make two or three of these modified traps and when he leaves his desk he can set them and put them under the first layer of garbage.
posted by TooFewShoes at 7:33 AM on January 23, 2011
Nthing the suggestion of bringing it up casually with the boss, or if that solves nothing, having a second trash can.
It sounds like she might have a compulsion or slight mental illness (or at least some personality issues). I wouldn't be surprised if HR already knows about it.
Jeeze, I wouldn't take any of the confrontational or passive-aggressive suggestions from this thread ... you don't shit where you eat, and he's still got to go to this workplace every day afterwards.
posted by cadge at 8:16 AM on January 23, 2011 [1 favorite]
It sounds like she might have a compulsion or slight mental illness (or at least some personality issues). I wouldn't be surprised if HR already knows about it.
Jeeze, I wouldn't take any of the confrontational or passive-aggressive suggestions from this thread ... you don't shit where you eat, and he's still got to go to this workplace every day afterwards.
posted by cadge at 8:16 AM on January 23, 2011 [1 favorite]
I'm going to echo my own advice from a previous question about an meddling co-worker: Bright, cheerful: "Oh, Recycley, everything's fine. It is not your job to worry about this, tut tut. See you later." Every time. Loudly, firmly. Don't say much else, and steer her back to her desk like a lost child. He should do this for the same reasons as the previous question - to show that his nose is clean and his part is covered, she's being clearly identified as a bit nutty, and he'd be neither engaging nor indulging, but addressing and re-directing.
posted by peagood at 8:31 AM on January 23, 2011 [1 favorite]
posted by peagood at 8:31 AM on January 23, 2011 [1 favorite]
actually, as a new hire, he probably has more flexibility than most in bringing it to HR's attention. the behavior is clearly entrenched and people tolerate it, and then once you've let something go on for a few weeks or months, how do you suddenly decide this is the time to stop it? so being new, it's more reasonable for him to complain than his co-workers. his co-workers would probably be grateful.
the angle i would take is this: this employee is violating his personal space, and leaving a mess is an act of vandalism. a mention to the boss is a good first step. if the boss does nothing, an inquiry to HR (oh, hey, i'm new here and this is kind of awkward, but it seems like i'm not the only one bothered by this...) about whether this behavior constitutes a hostile work environment should be enough to get them to intervene (or tell him how to get the ball rolling).
also, he should document the behavior.
in the short term, if she comes in while he's there, he can say, "Janine, please don't do that. I plan to take my recyclables out this evening, and you're interrupting my work. Thank you." Wash, rinse, repeat.
posted by thinkingwoman at 9:13 AM on January 23, 2011 [1 favorite]
the angle i would take is this: this employee is violating his personal space, and leaving a mess is an act of vandalism. a mention to the boss is a good first step. if the boss does nothing, an inquiry to HR (oh, hey, i'm new here and this is kind of awkward, but it seems like i'm not the only one bothered by this...) about whether this behavior constitutes a hostile work environment should be enough to get them to intervene (or tell him how to get the ball rolling).
also, he should document the behavior.
in the short term, if she comes in while he's there, he can say, "Janine, please don't do that. I plan to take my recyclables out this evening, and you're interrupting my work. Thank you." Wash, rinse, repeat.
posted by thinkingwoman at 9:13 AM on January 23, 2011 [1 favorite]
In engineering, this would drive me bat shit insane to get interrupted in my space.
I'd talk it over with the boss and I'd this approach -
I assume that since she's been here, people have tried approaches that are in the following categories:
1. Direct
2. Indirect
3. Retaliatory/aggressive
4. Passive-aggressive
5. Tolerance/ignoring
I also assume that none of this has worked.
I find my own work challenging and every interruption I get costs me time to get back to my train of thought. What can we do that would help everybody work effectively?
posted by plinth at 9:39 AM on January 23, 2011 [1 favorite]
I'd talk it over with the boss and I'd this approach -
I assume that since she's been here, people have tried approaches that are in the following categories:
1. Direct
2. Indirect
3. Retaliatory/aggressive
4. Passive-aggressive
5. Tolerance/ignoring
I also assume that none of this has worked.
I find my own work challenging and every interruption I get costs me time to get back to my train of thought. What can we do that would help everybody work effectively?
posted by plinth at 9:39 AM on January 23, 2011 [1 favorite]
You could get a hard-sided pet carrier, stand it on end, and put a trash bag in it. Throw a pad lock on it. Rant about THEM spying on everyone, with cameras in stores and banks and whatnot. Tell her to go back and tell THEM they can't spy on your trash anymore!
Bonus passive-aggressive points for putting something recyclable peeking out of the cage.
The passive aggressive methods are going to backfire, though. She just wants attention; you don't want to give her any reason to be your buddy (help her start a recycle plan) or talk to you any more than necessary, which she will if you do anything nasty to the trash.
posted by ctmf at 11:15 AM on January 23, 2011
Bonus passive-aggressive points for putting something recyclable peeking out of the cage.
The passive aggressive methods are going to backfire, though. She just wants attention; you don't want to give her any reason to be your buddy (help her start a recycle plan) or talk to you any more than necessary, which she will if you do anything nasty to the trash.
posted by ctmf at 11:15 AM on January 23, 2011
Advanced scheming: If you go the trash can in a cage route, accidentally let slip that you keep the key in your personal stuff in the bottom of your backpack next to your wallet on a ring with your car and house key. If she can't resist rummaging through your personal effects and stealing things from them, now THAT, my friend, is something HR cannot ignore.
posted by ctmf at 11:28 AM on January 23, 2011
posted by ctmf at 11:28 AM on January 23, 2011
It sounds like she's a hoarder. I betcha dollars to donuts that her home is a huge mess off stuff she thinks she will "take care of later".
posted by ducktape at 12:12 PM on January 23, 2011
posted by ducktape at 12:12 PM on January 23, 2011
1. Set up an office recycling program, or at least move some shit out of your own trash into recycling voluntarily.
2. Leave the crazy lady alone, because it seems pretty clear that the higher-ups know this woman is crazy and they don't plan on doing anything about it. As someone else said, this is not the hill you want to die on.
posted by jenfullmoon at 12:28 PM on January 23, 2011
2. Leave the crazy lady alone, because it seems pretty clear that the higher-ups know this woman is crazy and they don't plan on doing anything about it. As someone else said, this is not the hill you want to die on.
posted by jenfullmoon at 12:28 PM on January 23, 2011
Separate out your recyclables. Make it a challenge to yourself to be easy-going and kind about this lady. Don't advertise it, as such, but, as much as it comes up in office talk, try to express yourself in easy-going terms.
This is partly "act the way you want to feel", and partly, well, office politics. She sounds mega-annoying, but actually harmless, and with no political pull. If something comes up with another officemate who is a real problem, you'll be better off if people think of you as being someone easy-going who gets over even really weird behavior, rather than the person who finally stuck it to . . . the office recycling nut.
posted by endless_forms at 1:48 PM on January 23, 2011
This is partly "act the way you want to feel", and partly, well, office politics. She sounds mega-annoying, but actually harmless, and with no political pull. If something comes up with another officemate who is a real problem, you'll be better off if people think of you as being someone easy-going who gets over even really weird behavior, rather than the person who finally stuck it to . . . the office recycling nut.
posted by endless_forms at 1:48 PM on January 23, 2011
Supporting that you keep a trash can or bag in a locked drawer (for those moments when you don't want to walk to a communal trash to empty your hole punch or toss a gum wrapper) _PLUS_ implement the "throw it in the communal trash whenever possible" plan. When she comes around, just tell her point blank that you don't use a personal trash can any more. If she attempts further question/bothering, ignore. If she attempts even further, document. Plan to do this for weeks before she gets it.
Don't take part in any passive aggressive traps, caging, etc. of your trash. It's only likely to make her distressed and get -you- in trouble.
posted by DisreputableDog at 2:13 PM on January 23, 2011 [1 favorite]
Don't take part in any passive aggressive traps, caging, etc. of your trash. It's only likely to make her distressed and get -you- in trouble.
posted by DisreputableDog at 2:13 PM on January 23, 2011 [1 favorite]
And remember, there is likely someone whose job is to empty out that trashcan. Jello, mousetraps and free-roaming mucus in there is really going to make THEIR job miserable.
posted by ladygypsy at 3:26 PM on January 23, 2011 [6 favorites]
posted by ladygypsy at 3:26 PM on January 23, 2011 [6 favorites]
For all those people saying "don't bother to report this to Human Resources" ... you don't have to demand they do something about it, right? You can simply report it and ask them to make a note.
I say this working in an office where someone went full-on crazy and had to be physically restrained from assaulting a co-worker. They had a long history of strange, upsetting and harassing behaviour, but when it finally did come to the attention of Human Resources, they knew nothing about it. It was the first they'd heard about any problems with the person.
I don't think it's unfair to this obviously rather disturbed woman if you just have a quiet ten-minute chat to Hum Res about her. In fact I think it might be unfair to the rest of your colleagues not to do it.
posted by AmbroseChapel at 7:07 PM on January 23, 2011
I say this working in an office where someone went full-on crazy and had to be physically restrained from assaulting a co-worker. They had a long history of strange, upsetting and harassing behaviour, but when it finally did come to the attention of Human Resources, they knew nothing about it. It was the first they'd heard about any problems with the person.
I don't think it's unfair to this obviously rather disturbed woman if you just have a quiet ten-minute chat to Hum Res about her. In fact I think it might be unfair to the rest of your colleagues not to do it.
posted by AmbroseChapel at 7:07 PM on January 23, 2011
There are a lot of fun suggestions here that I don't think anyone should actually do in a typical corporate workplace, which this sounds like. Not sure what way you are going to go, but here are a couple of other ideas:
Is there any sort of security issue here? Is your bf working with any sort of data (passwords, web browsing history, other company data) that this person has the potential to see while in his space or going through his trash? If so, report that to HR.
Especially as a new person it makes a lot of sense for him to go to his boss and say "Person X is constantly interrupting my work by coming into my space to rummage through my trash (x times this week), talking to me about non-work matters even after I tell her I am busy working, and making messes I have to clean - for example I came back to my desk yesterday to find a big mess of soy sauce. Obviously this is not the best use of my time and I'd like to focus on doing a great job for the company. What is the company policy for dealing with something like this?"
posted by mikepop at 8:43 AM on January 24, 2011 [5 favorites]
Is there any sort of security issue here? Is your bf working with any sort of data (passwords, web browsing history, other company data) that this person has the potential to see while in his space or going through his trash? If so, report that to HR.
Especially as a new person it makes a lot of sense for him to go to his boss and say "Person X is constantly interrupting my work by coming into my space to rummage through my trash (x times this week), talking to me about non-work matters even after I tell her I am busy working, and making messes I have to clean - for example I came back to my desk yesterday to find a big mess of soy sauce. Obviously this is not the best use of my time and I'd like to focus on doing a great job for the company. What is the company policy for dealing with something like this?"
posted by mikepop at 8:43 AM on January 24, 2011 [5 favorites]
And remember, there is likely someone whose job is to empty out that trashcan. Jello, mousetraps and free-roaming mucus in there is really going to make THEIR job miserable.
Yeah, but if it's in a bag, all they have to do is take the bag out. No big deal. (Well, for the Jell-o and mucus suggestions anyway. Obviously the OP isn't going to do mousetraps, I kind of figured that was a joke. Because I thought it was hilarious.)
Anyway, the same cleaning person who takes out the trash surely cleans the floor and other spaces too. The floor or whatever surface that's covered in soy sauce from the trash-digger. As a person who used to empty trashcans in hospital offices (and surgery floor locker rooms) I can say with confidence that I don't care what's in the trash, so long as it's within the bag. And I've seen some gross stuff. When gross stuff is OUTSIDE the bag, that's when it sucks. So if this lady's trash-digging results in messes outside the garbage can . . . the cleaning people would probably appreciate you guys trying to stop her madness.
posted by GastrocNemesis at 8:01 PM on January 24, 2011
Yeah, but if it's in a bag, all they have to do is take the bag out. No big deal. (Well, for the Jell-o and mucus suggestions anyway. Obviously the OP isn't going to do mousetraps, I kind of figured that was a joke. Because I thought it was hilarious.)
Anyway, the same cleaning person who takes out the trash surely cleans the floor and other spaces too. The floor or whatever surface that's covered in soy sauce from the trash-digger. As a person who used to empty trashcans in hospital offices (and surgery floor locker rooms) I can say with confidence that I don't care what's in the trash, so long as it's within the bag. And I've seen some gross stuff. When gross stuff is OUTSIDE the bag, that's when it sucks. So if this lady's trash-digging results in messes outside the garbage can . . . the cleaning people would probably appreciate you guys trying to stop her madness.
posted by GastrocNemesis at 8:01 PM on January 24, 2011
Just to clarify, I was mostly joking about the mouse traps.
posted by TooFewShoes at 3:41 PM on January 26, 2011
posted by TooFewShoes at 3:41 PM on January 26, 2011
This thread is closed to new comments.
Then go to H/R.
posted by Old Geezer at 7:42 PM on January 22, 2011 [5 favorites]