January 21, 2011 7:13 PM Subscribe
My friend is sharing my bed with me and I don't know how I should feel about it.
posted by anonymous to human relations (65 answers total) 5 users marked this as a favorite
I (guy in early 20s) just graduated from college and moved to New York to look for work. I have a very good friend (girl in her 20s who graduated last year and hasn't found a job yet) who at my suggestion flew across the country to visit me for a week (she slept on an inflatable bed that I had). Since we had so much fun during the trip and I really don't know anyone else in the area I suggested that she stay at my place to look for work. I have a small studio apartment that my parents are paying for until I find work so rent isn't an issue.
I've always had a little bit of a crush on this girl but since we've never spent more than a day together (usually with at least another person) it hasn't been a problem. Now though we're hanging out everyday and getting along great; I can't help thinking about her in a more romantic light.
On top of this my inflatable bed died a week ago and since we both don't have much spending cash to buy a new one we sort of came to the decision that she should sleep in my bed with me. I have a king size bed and it seemed to me at the time to be a jerk move to make her sleep on the floor. We aren't cuddling or even touching (beyond the accidental rolling over bump when we're both asleep). She sleeps on one side in her set of blankets and I sleep on the other in mine.
I'm wondering how best to deal with these feelings, am I over thinking this whole situation? Should I ask her to sleep on the floor? I have a sleeping bag she can use and I'm even open to sleeping on the floor in it though I wouldn't prefer that. There's also really no prearranged end date to her stay, she asked me a few times in the beginning (five weeks ago) and I didn't give her a definitive answer. Also I'm thinking about when she finds a job and gets her own place....I'd be her only friend in the city. I'd like to tell her that I like her once that happens but I'm thinking that's still not fair to her....is there any hope for me? My usual solution to an unavailable girl I like is to find another girl but I couldn't really bring someone over with my friend here.