He's Just Not That Into Me
January 21, 2011 11:26 AM Subscribe
He's just not that into me. The problem is he's my husband.
posted by anonymous to Human Relations (53 answers total) 20 users marked this as a favorite
This is not a new problem/issue. My husband has always been distant and aloof. Rare is the day that he'll offer information on what's going on in his day, feelings, plans, etc. Also, rare is the day that he'll ask about events in my day. Even though I don't live an exciting existence, I try to talk to him about my day, things the kids did, errands I've run. I do this so that he feels a part of my life. He does not reciprocate.
He's always been like this. And for some reason I didn't put much importance on it and married the guy. We've been married approx. 15 years and have children together. I have brought this issue up with him and he'll be conscious about it for a week, if that. Then it stops.
I do not feel like I'm a part of his life. I am sad and lonely because of this. He does not (or is not capable of?) including me. I hear him talking on the phone with his family and he will share a lot of stuff with them - things he's never told me (not secrets or anything - just day-to-day stuff). So I've got it in my head that he's just not that into me.
Now, seeing as how he's unable, unwilling, whatever to include me in his life, I'm left feeling quite lonely and alone. I have friends that I frequently do things with, my children keep me busy, I have a few hobbies that fill my time. But still I'm left feeling so sad because I'm left out in the cold when it comes to him.
I do not nag him or badger him to "open up" nor do I inundate him with lame stuff that's going on in my life. I'm a pretty quiet person myself so I don't feel like I'm doing all the talking and he never has a chance.
My question(s): Despite this, how do overcome my sadness and loneliness? Despite this, how to I become a great person? How can I learn to not care about his lack of being interested in sharing himself? How do I move forward in life when this seems to drag me down? How do I not let it drag me down and instead turn it around into something that makes me a stronger person?
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