Romance drives people crazy but I'm kind of in the mood for it.
January 12, 2011 6:09 AM Subscribe
Have you ever gone through a long period where you wanted to be dating but couldn't? Looking for tips on how to re-frame being single.
posted by venividivici to human relations (19 answers total) 18 users marked this as a favorite
I have twelve months left of my Ph.D. and am racing to get it all done by December. This is great news! Unfortunately, for the third year in a row, I'm flat broke and any kind of dating life is basically impossible. (I'm not trying to turn this thread into a sob story about money; I chose to go into this program and am really happy I did. It was definitely the right decision. But it means that I can't afford coffee dates, the de facto cheap option, and free stuff is difficult because I don't have a car and can't afford the bus).
For the past two years I haven't cared. I was obsessed with my dissertation, classes, and a whole bunch of other personal projects, and that was great. Whenever I've been single in the past, I've usually been happy about it -- in fact, I've often preferred it.
But it's been two years now and I'm very lonely. My friends are great, of course, but it's not the same. I think about how nice it would be to go out on dates (especially on the weekends), to have some romance, or just be "out there" meeting guys. I tell myself that it's only a year before things will turn around, and that I should just sit tight and wait it out. But that's still a long time and not much consolation.
So I'm wondering how other people have dealt with being "involuntarily" single (could be for any reason -- health- or work-related, religious/philosophical, logistical, whatever). I feel like I need some kind of "Jedi mind trick" to stop caring about this, but I can't seem to do it, and it's bumming me out.