How to make new friends when you're all grown up?
January 9, 2011 12:50 AM Subscribe
Asking for mom: how do you get back out there and form close friendships/relationships after you've already settled down, raised a family, and devoted yourself to work?
posted by Amaranta to human relations (13 answers total) 6 users marked this as a favorite
My mom is a pretty amazing lady. Incredibly creative, self-sufficient, thoughtful, hard-working, intellectual, attractive, blah blah blah. But since I've fled the nest, she's been realizing that she has less and less connection to where she lives (Los Angeles) and her friends here, and is feeling like she really needs to get out there more, get more active, and meet more kindred spirits. Problem is, she doesn't know how. She's spent the last 20 years raising her kid, putting herself through school, and working her ass off, and has become something of a workaholic. And I think she's come to feel really alienated from her life here and the people in it. I know she'd love to get involved in some more creative things (i.e. taking a class in an area of interest such as sculpture, gardening, cooking, doing volunteer work or a book club, etc.) but would also like a forum like this in which she could meet some like-minded people around her age, and make some real friends who she connects with. I know she would also really love to do some dating, but while she's tried the online scene for a while, she consistently feels like the people in her age range are looking for someone younger (she's 60, and while she's attractive and looks about 10 years younger, the unfortunate fact is that it seems in this town, no one really sees you past 30. At least this has been how she's felt). Her mom recently moved out here, but she has a rough relationship with her and has no other family anywhere nearby.
So, I guess what this long-winded praise of my mother is meant to ask is: what are the options for an amazing 60-year woman to get out there and meet other active, creatively engaged people of her age range who would also be interested in forming friendships/relationships? I know this is terribly vague, and that there is by no means a prescription for friendships or relationships (at any age), but it kills me to see her lonely and somewhat lost. And while I have every faith that she'll get through it and figure it out, any suggestions of places to start/personal experiences would be enormously appreciated. Thanks so much for taking the time to read (and post)!!