How to get in touch with someone

December 29, 2010 5:05 AM

Met guy at party, friends with him on facebook...how to get in contact with him?

A friend took me to a friend's house party. We're all young professionals/grad students in our mid 20s. He had a friend there that seemed really into me, and I was definitely into him as well. I added that guy on Facebook recently, and his page has all his contact information (cell, email, etc.)

So should I contact him through facebook? Or is that too stalkery? I really don't want to seem overbearing or pushy. Any ideas would be great.

posted by skybluesky to Human Relations (12 answers total)

If he's accepted your friend request, you can definitely post on his wall, or send him a private message. If I were you, I wouldn't call his cell phone unless he himself gave me his number. Basically, contact him through whatever he's reciprocated.
posted by litnerd at 5:12 AM on December 29, 2010 [7 favorites]

Don't call or email, just send him a message to his inbox on facebook
posted by Chrysalis at 5:19 AM on December 29, 2010 [1 favorite]

Send him a message through Facebook.
posted by J. Wilson at 6:03 AM on December 29, 2010

Facebook message: "I enjoyed meeting/spending time with you at [friend]'s party. Would you like to go to [dinner/coffee] next week?" Choose dinner or coffee based on how much time you spent together at the party, and don't overthink this.
posted by JMOZ at 6:26 AM on December 29, 2010 [5 favorites]

He's on Facebook, we can therefore assume he is open to being contacted through Facebook. Unless his hobby is complaining about stalkers.

Apparently he's also open to being contacted by cell or email since he puts the info out there, but there's no reason to do either of those things because you have Facebook, which is more public, therefore less intrusive.
posted by tel3path at 6:28 AM on December 29, 2010

Send him a short quick facebook message like JMOZ mentioned.
posted by sandmanwv at 6:31 AM on December 29, 2010

There's also Facebook Chat. Just say "Hey, what's up?"
posted by schmod at 6:37 AM on December 29, 2010

This is what Facebook is for.
posted by hermitosis at 6:42 AM on December 29, 2010 [14 favorites]

This has happened to me - as the guy - at least twice in the relatively recent past. I meet girl at party, girl friends me on facebook soon thereafter, and she messages me with a pretty forthright date suggestion quickly too. It didn't seem stalkery, pushy, or any of that, at all, and I did in fact go on those dates. So go for it!
posted by Tomorrowful at 7:12 AM on December 29, 2010 [2 favorites]

Anecdotal evidence:

1) I met someone through friends in a city 500 miles away
2) I mentioned to one of the friends that this someone was nifty, and I'd be all about trying to take her to dinner if I lived in town.
3) This someone heard this through friend, connected with me on Facebook
4) A couple of wall posts and Facebook mails later, and we connected on IM
5) We talk almost every day via IM now.

So, yeah. Use Facebook like hermitosis said.
posted by GamblingBlues at 7:13 AM on December 29, 2010 [1 favorite]

Seriously, just message him on facebook. "What's a girl gotta do to get a drink around here?"

Should get the ball rolling.
posted by Ironmouth at 7:53 AM on December 29, 2010

Response by poster: Thanks everyone! I messaged him...I've got nothing to lose! It's not like we have the same exact social circle so it's not going to get awkward in the future. Even then...so what?

I'll let you guys know!
posted by skybluesky at 8:54 AM on December 29, 2010