How to date someone who gets in your head?
December 13, 2010 3:54 AM Subscribe
Is it detrimental to date a psychiatrist (not my own) after being in an emotionally abusive relationship?
posted by anonymous to Human Relations (24 answers total) 2 users marked this as a favorite
I'm a young single professional female. Recently I met a psychiatrist (not my own) and we have started dating and we're not seeing anyone else, it's an exclusive thing. I have disclosed to him that I used to be in an emotionally abusive relationship thing. I'm in therapy for it and even though it was the most abusive relationship in my life, the way I got over it was the healthiest way I've ever gotten over a relationship, believe it or not. I nourished my friendships, got closer with my family, took up new hobbies, worked harder than ever at work. I've regained and re-established my identity.
So, to get back to the point...I know he's not a robot, he's got his own faults and he can't analyze me all the time. I know this sounds bad, but there's a disparity in our physical attractiveness, and at first I wasn't sure about him but as soon as he starts to talk, I don't think about it at all because there's just a natural chemistry and attraction between us. Ever since the first date, there have been no awkward silences, and trust me...I am awkward.
He's also disclosed to me that a few years ago, a long-term relationship ended due to very very unfortunate hardships in both of their lives; the relationship just didn't survive it. He's made it clear that he likes me and he's interested in a relationship down the road.
I don't know if I'm getting cold feet or if I'm confused or what...it's hard for me to let my guard down but I'm a little scared that he could really "get inside" my head. I don't want him to think of me as a victim, because I'm not. I'm the one who's made the choices in my life, including the one to leave my abuser. I still believe in love. I believe that most people are good. But I'm afraid to let him in mostly because of his profession. Am I being silly? Because he's been very very honest and he seems pretty sincere...but then again, he knows what to say.
So to sum it up...
1. Am I being paranoid/untrusting/too guarded?
2. Or should I take a leap of faith and trust that he is starting to develop feelings for me? Because I'm starting to have feelings for him.