Should I Get My Boss In Trouble?
December 10, 2010 9:18 AM   Subscribe

I have the opportunity to get my boss, who has been very nasty towards me lately, into a lot of trouble, with the distinct possibility that there will be little to no blowback on me. Should I do it?

So I've been working in this job for close to five years now. I've always been told I'm very good at what I do. I enjoy my work. That is, I did up until around October this year.

Just before October, in late August, I approached my boss, with whom I had a good working relationship and told her that if I couldn't get a promotion in this role anytime soon (and that seemed likely, given that all higher positions within our unit were taken), I would like her to know that I might need to move on and find somewhere else in the organisation (in one of the other units) that could pay me more. I asked her if she would give me references and say kind words about me to some of the other managers. She said she would be, quote, "happy to."

I took this step because for the entire time before this meeting, she had been praising my work on an almost daily basis. We had a particuarly busy time in June/July, and she told the entire staff that if it wasn't for me, we wouldn't have got through it. I figured from that kind of high, it would be safe to make it known to her that I would like to advance my career and earning opportunities.

I guess I was wrong. Shortly after my meeting with her, her mood became very passive-aggressive toward me. I felt uncomfortable even being around her. It wasn't a fun time.

So in late October I was set to take a couple of weeks off. This had long been approved with her. Before I left for leave, she called me into her office for a meeting. At this meeting she told me that I had been "disengaged all year", that my work wasn't up to scratch, that I didn't spend enough time in the office and that if I didn't shape up, she'd have no choice but to fire me. I also didn't get my yearly incremental pay increase, something which is usually rubber stamped, because she said with the poor quality of my work , she couldn't justify giving it to me.

Needless to say, all of this came as quite a shock. It definitely ruined my time off. But while I was away, I had time to think about it and the more I did, the more I realised that her words didn't ring true. As mentioned earlier, I had gotten constant praise from her throughout the year. Other stakeholders had commented to me what a great job I'd been doing. And I thought to myself, if I really was as bad as she said, why wait ten months to say anything? And why didn't she raise it at the meeting I had with her a few weeks prior? You would think if I really did suck at my job, when I asked her for references, she would say "No, sorry, you suck, can't do that."

And honestly, I really do feel like I put in 110% around here. I don't think that a single claim she made against me is justified. And that's me being 100% truthful and even a bit hard on myself.

Anyway, since I've come back from leave I had one or two run ins with my boss but her passive aggressive mood has largely seemed to pass. She's kind of praising my work again, but not like she used to. It's certainly not as enjoyable to work here anymore.

Cut to last night. Last night I spoke to an old friend, a boss I had in this job prior to my new one. This old boss is VERY influential in my line of work, and I trust her implicitly. I spoke to her about the current situation I'm in.

She felt that I've been treated appalingly. She said that when I worked for her I had always done an incredible job. She offered to take it up with my boss's boss for me. I asked her if she thought that that might just make things worse. She said "Not if I raise it." And without going into too much details, trust me, this is quite true. If she raises it with my boss's boss, she could do so in a way that would ensure that any blowback on me would be pretty much minimal or even non-existent.

I told her I would think about it.

I'm inclined to take her up on her offer. My feeling has been that if my boss tried to fire me, the axe would fall just before Christmas, so my time to make a decision is probably tight. But I'm also not sure I want to get my boss in trouble. For all that she's done, said and may do, I'm just not the kind of guy who likes to cause shit at the workplace. I don't think she'd get fired, but probably severely reprimanded. Best case scenario, I might get moved to a better job, or maybe moved sideways within the organisation to a different unit.

So what do you, the Hive Mind, think I should do? Take her up on her offer? Do nothing? Something inbetween? Let me know!
posted by anonymous to Work & Money (38 answers total) 1 user marked this as a favorite
 
I wouldn't do it. You made the mistake of letting your boss know you were unhappy enough in your job to leave without having any solid plan to do so. Of course she'll start interpreting your behavior in that light. To bring someone from outside the company into this mess would reflect poorly on you, and if there's "no way" the boss' boss will find out that it's because of you, why would you believe that it'll have any effect on your job situation? If you need the boss' boss to do something for you, you should speak to him yourself.
posted by ThePinkSuperhero at 9:25 AM on December 10, 2010 [1 favorite]


You're not going to get "answers" here, but rather opinions. So here's mine.

Do everything honestly. Tell your friend that you're not interested in back-stabbing anyone, but would appreciate any kind words she could offer that could help you.

At the same time, engage your current boss honestly and openly. "You have said XYZ about my performance. I am going to take your words to heart. Please help me identify areas where you think I can improve." Then work on those areas (provided, of course, that they are not in and of themselves detrimental or distracting).

The end result will be kind words and an honest attempt to build bridges. Done right, it'll work. And there's nothing whatsoever wrong with this approach.
posted by Cool Papa Bell at 9:28 AM on December 10, 2010 [7 favorites]


I don't see how your boss would not know it was you who raised the issue with her boss, or at least assume this to be the case, and I don't see how you would enjoy working for her once she found out.

On the other hand, if you are intending to leave anyway if this can't be resolved, then you have nothing to lose. Your old boss will probably write you a nice recommendation (though I would confirm this before making any decision).

Out of curiosity, what did your boss say when you asked her why she went from praising your work to threatening to fire you?
posted by kindall at 9:30 AM on December 10, 2010 [3 favorites]


If you feel that your boss may be getting ready to fire you, then I say "go for it!", because you will have nothing to lose...
posted by Hanuman1960 at 9:32 AM on December 10, 2010


What's missing in your story is how your boss has evaluated you in written reviews. What does the paper trail say? I would ask for her bad verbal reviews in writing. I would ask for specific guidelines on what exactly needs to change in your performance to be up to snuff.

If she gives it to you, she probably is trying to fire you. If she refuses to put anything negative in writing, she might be trying to scare you--the person who, according to your story--has become indispensable but wants to go work for one of her peers.
posted by ImproviseOrDie at 9:40 AM on December 10, 2010 [3 favorites]


No.

Your boss will know it was you, your old boss will know it was you, and your boss' boss will know. That's not 100% sure, but assume it to be true.

Thank old boss and tell her you really appreciate it, especially her having your back, but that you feel like right now you should deal with it yourself, and thank her for her support.

Old boss knows what's up, and I think that's enough. You don't want to be the person who has old boss talk to boss' boss, especially since I don't think there's enough here to gain for you.
posted by mrs. taters at 9:44 AM on December 10, 2010 [2 favorites]


Before you get back to your friend with an answer, here's what I suggest you do. Go back to your current boss (call a meeting with her) and say tell her you are confused about why she was praising your work up and down all year, then suddenly threatened to fire you. Spell it out, give examples. Ask if there is something specific you did that caused the change in attitude. Tell her it upset you, because you pride yourself in working hard and being good at your job. If she is vague, then press by asking her if she was upset when you mentioned that you wanted to move to another department in order to get a promotion. Point out that you would be happy to stay in this department if there was space to move up, but there isn't. Be honest. Don't accuse her of anything, just ask her WHY. Don't use any "you did this/that" statement, use "I feel" statements.

This is her chance to redeem herself. If you are not happy with the answers she gives you, call your friend back and give her your answer, whichever way you choose. Honestly, I personally agree with others that having your friend intervene on your behalf is a dangerous game, but I can't really know the exact circumstance, to know for sure. I am skeptical that there is no danger of blowback on you, but you know better than us internet strangers.

It sounds like the bad episode with your boss was a one-off event, and generally she is good, so give her the benefit of the doubt and try one time to straighten things out between you.
posted by Joh at 9:45 AM on December 10, 2010 [16 favorites]


I'd do it. It's always better to counter attack before you get fired or accused of anything worse than slacking. This woman deserves to be ratted out, dressed down and on probation for a while, she's a crappy boss and she's not doing the job she's paid for and entrusted with at the moment. She made the decision that has landed her in this spot so there's nothing to feel guilty about.

You always have the right to go over your boss's head if they're screwing with you.
posted by fshgrl at 9:46 AM on December 10, 2010 [6 favorites]


There's no such thing as "little or no blowback". Nastiness always has negative consequences, whether you can see it from a distance or not. Take the high road.
posted by Erroneous at 9:47 AM on December 10, 2010 [5 favorites]


My wife was in a similar predicament last year. She didn't do anything about it and then ended up getting let go all for no good reason that all. So much so that when filling out forms for EI we had no idea what to put down. She had been in that position for 4 years previous and ALWAYS got the best possible reviews.
I say go above her head. Petty people like this deserve it.
posted by boomcha76 at 9:48 AM on December 10, 2010 [2 favorites]


That's not getting your boss in trouble; that's speaking with another trusted colleague about your options. Using your network, even. (Kind of what you were trying to do in the first place.)

When I read just the intro to this post, I thought this: You should never set out to 'get someone in trouble' regardless of how little you feel that it'll blow back on you. It will ALWAYS have more repercussions than you might imagine. People will ALWAYS figure out. That's why you need to do things honestly and above-board, as CPB has said above. Your actions will be scrutinized more than ever, so it's even more important that your work (both paperwork and interactions) be squeaky clean.

The catch in your situation is that it seems that you're working for your own good, rather than the good of the unit. Which is entirely correct, but your boss feels threatened by it, since the boss's version of her own good involves a lot of maintaining the unit's good. When you tell her that you're thinking of moving on, that's a threat to both sides of her equation.

I've been in this situation. It's not pretty. Mine involved a professor who turned on me after I told her I was considering a "vacation term" to another university. It had nothing to do with her and the ways in which we had interacted, but she took it very personally. This kind of thing often happens with people who are usually quite buttoned-up and fond of control, which makes their loss of control all the more unpleasant and noticeable, not to mention super unprofessional.

Eventually, I had the opportunity to go through the proper channels and tell someone about how I'd been treated. I spoke privately with the dean of the college (equivalent to the provost) and provided specific examples of how she had treated me in unprofessional ways. In particular, although she had berated me to the point of crying in her office, and removed me from my position in an organization, the main thing I brought up was that she refused to release a course syllabus so that I could transfer some credits. That was a clear professional issue. I also wrote a very detailed critique when she was up for tenure two years later. (She didn't get it.)

If you want to stay with this company, you want to keep a reputation as a good guy to work with. That's why it's so important to keep things transparent. Document every interaction, but take the channels you are entitled to take and get support from other trusted friends and colleagues.
posted by Madamina at 9:49 AM on December 10, 2010 [1 favorite]


If what you say is true, then I would totally do it. Currently you cant use your had work as a reference for your new job. See you can use your boss's boss for the reference because your boss sucks.

If you were planning on working in the company I would be concerned.
posted by Felex at 9:50 AM on December 10, 2010


Ethically or karma-wise, I don't think you're just engaging in some kind of PA shitty behavior to "get back at her." Ex. If this had happened and you had a chance to get her vehicle registration screwed up at the DMV, that would be bad behavior on your part.

However, what your friend is proposing to do is not some kind of revenge fantasy, but rather an effort to address a situation that needs to be addressed, from the company's perspective.. In short, she's doing her job. If I owned your company and I found out that a talented employee was leaving because their boss was crapping on them, and that someone else in the chain of command (or at least around it), knew about it and did nothing, I'd be upset with that "someone else." (as well as the boss)

It's true that there is some chance that this may not work out well, but from the way you describe things you have little to lose. OTOH, it sounds like the greater likelihood is you might get redress on your issue; what happens to your boss is up to her and what attitude she takes to whatever discipline might come her way.

Not that you asked, but I disagree with those who say you did something wrong in the first place. It sounds like a large company, and while I've always worked for smaller businesses and may not know all the etiquette of looking for promotion opportunities, it sounds reasonable to me to tell your boss you're interested in moving up. Sounds like she was threatened by that and had an irrational response to your request. Sounds like your friend/mentor agrees, and thinks HER boss will agree... I'd go for it.
posted by randomkeystrike at 9:52 AM on December 10, 2010 [10 favorites]


I think that the issue shouldn't be getting back at current boss, it should be: how do you prevent your boss's actions from hurting you?

If your friend can talk about your boss's boss about getting you a new (ideally higher up) job in another department, it's worth it. If all she can do is badmouth your boss, it's not. Since she knows the situation, she could potentially defuse anything current boss might say about you as a reference, without resorting to making this about you vs. her. After all, you have to assume that big boss either values your boss, or already knows her bad behavior. You gain nothing. Work to maximize gain, not lash out. If your friend is influential enough that she could make a difference in your current boss's career, then she's definitely influential enough to say "____ is seriously undervalued there - someone else will likely snap him/her up if you're not careful about taking care of them"
posted by Mchelly at 9:53 AM on December 10, 2010 [2 favorites]


I am usually full-steam-ahead for a nice revenge plan. But it just seems in this situation that there are a lot of dynamics and relationships and motivations going on that you don't know about or understand. And revenge only works if you know 10000% all the possibilities and consequences. And you absolutely do not.

Ask your friend to use their influence to get you a new job/position. Leave your current boss out of it.

I know this isn't really an answer to your question, but:

I think the way you handled the initial conversation with your boss was not the best way, especially if she's prone to taking things to a personal/passive-aggressive place. Just reading it here, it almost came across as a threat. No one wants an employee who's considering jumping ship, whether justified or not. They're always seen as disloyal. The way to do it is to make it seem like her idea that you should look in another department, and then you turn her into an ally and mentor instead of a stepping-stone on the route to your success.

"Hey boss, I'm so glad that you and the team have been happy with the work I've been doing, I really enjoyed working on Project Q and I was so satisfied to achieve those successes. The more work I do here, the more excited I get about future prospects -- for example I really think Superior J has a really cool job -- and obviously I'm just an associate so I'm not looking to take his job just yet, LOL, but would you mind if I picked your brain a little bit about what kind of career paths I can be looking at? Would you help me brainstorm about what skills I should be focusing on?"

Now, you might both come to the conclusion that unfortunately in your current department, you're at a dead-end. And you'd be like "Oh bummer, what should I do? I just love this company!!" And then she'll start helping you think about other departments and she'll be your ally and feel invested in your success and write killer recommendations and start talking to her senior-level colleagues about how awesome you are. She might be sorry to lose you, but at least she'll feel like you're going to another department talking about how great of a manager she was and how much you learned and how much she helped you, as opposed to about how lucky you were to get out of that dead-end position.

Or maybe she'd tell you some secret news about a position above you opening up, and you didn't hear it from her, but, she'll keep you mind.

You'll be much better off approaching someone with a problem that you need their immense knowledge and expertise to help solve, instead of a complaint and a solution that you've already decided on unless they can come up with something better.
posted by thebazilist at 9:54 AM on December 10, 2010 [4 favorites]


One interpretation is that you are so bad at what you do, that providing a good reference was a simple and cheap way to get rid of you. The praise she hands out in public wasn't genuine, and words are cheap. Platitudes. Calling in a "favor" from an influential person in this situation is doubling down on a bad position; it ruins your credibility with everyone, including the person of influence.

My guess is that some of her behavior stems from a change in the budget and economy. Perhaps your unit used to do a lot of business, now it's losing clients and leaving open positions unfilled. She used to rubber stamp raises but now the budget has stopped growing and has to think carefully about who gets what. The stuff she tells you, the stuff that contradicts previous praise, the stakeholder compliments etc, is conveniently timed to come up with a plausible reason not to give a raise to the guy who asked for one, indirectly. Your vacation probably reminded her how valuable you are to the unit. Calling in a favor in this case is still pretty not helpful, as your boss's boss gets to discover that an influential person thinks of your company as a bad example.

What you need is documentation. If you were super awesome, you'd already have it, because you're looking to go up or out. But if you didn't, get started now. All the silly little thank you notes are evidence for your case. It would have been great if you'd sent a thank you note about how much it matters to you that she "told the entire staff that if it wasn't for me, we wouldn't have got through" the month. But be careful; if the unit's facing layoffs / firings, adding the manager to the list of firings might be the last straw for the unit as a going concern. It's possible this is already in the works and the manager's kept this to herself.
posted by pwnguin at 10:06 AM on December 10, 2010 [3 favorites]


I'm with thebazilist. Stick with your original plan and don't get swept up in this distraction. Find a new job (your network is obviously willing to help) and learn that you never tell your boss you're thinking of leaving. You're trying to stir up a shitstorm here, but the big picture is that you want to leave. If you're hobbling your boss that means you haven't left your job yet. Why? Office politics are for people who are OK with working at a dead-end job, which you say you aren't.
posted by rhizome at 10:11 AM on December 10, 2010


I didn't read all the comments, but I don't think I would consider trying to have an honest conversation with your boss. She doesn't seem like she's the kind of person that you can sit down with and say "can we be reasonable, look at XY and Z and tell me that I'm not working my tail off here..."

She's already been unrealistic, and ultimately dishonest with herself and with you once before. I have no idea what her intentions or motivation was to suddenly start pretending that you're not doing your job well enough to the point of threatening firing you. I can tell you that I think you've learned your lesson there.. This woman sounds unstable. I wouldn't test the water any further with her...

If it were me I'd use the resources you have. I'd have another conversation with your friend.. Talk about piss-poor management skills.... I wouldn't call it revenge at all. She's just outright not doing her job. I hate dishonesty.
posted by Glendale at 10:11 AM on December 10, 2010 [1 favorite]


And without going into too much details, trust me, this is quite true.

Without those details how are we supposed to opine on whether you are correct in that assessment?
posted by hermitosis at 10:14 AM on December 10, 2010


What you are suggesting doing is no worse than a passive-aggressive boss.

Be the bigger person here.
posted by 4ster at 10:18 AM on December 10, 2010


As a manager reading this story, the key missing piece to me is exactly how you approached the conversation about needing/wanting a promotion. Using only the words you've typed in your question, it sounds like you make an ultimatum. I'm not saying you did, but you didn't give enough detail. If you did in fact make an ultimatum as as opposed to going to your boss and asking for her help with this as a partner, then I'm not surprised by her behavior. So please, more details about how you started and conducted that conversation. Because if a very good employee of mine came to me and said 'hi...i've been thinking..if I don't get promoted I'm going to start looking around inside the company for other work' I'd pretty much write you off. If, however, you came to me and said "For x, y and z reasons it seems you like me, my work, etc. I was wondering if there's a company process for exploring my next move or if you could help me in trying to figure out how to get more responsibility and a new title" then I'd see that as professional and ambitious and I would do everything to keep you in the company and happy.
posted by spicynuts at 10:27 AM on December 10, 2010 [1 favorite]


Having been in similar situations on both sides -- both as an employee and as a manager -- let me give a little bit of perspective from the other side.

Let's assume that your boss did believe you were a good performer, but she genuinely didn't have a position she could promote you into -- and as such, took your statement as an indication that you were truly going to leave at some indefinite time.

When you give formal notice, a manager can generally work up a contingency plan and start searching for a replacement. It's no fun, but it's something that the manager has control of. Take it this way: it's as if the boss has received a bomb with a little red timer, and they know they have to hire someone before the timer goes off to defuse the bomb.

However, if you say you're leaving but don't give a timeframe, it puts the boss in a very awkward situation -- you're asking the boss to carry around a bomb that may go off at any time, but doesn't have a timer. They plan for your replacement, because they don't know specifically when or if you're leaving. If you're still doing competent work, it would be unkind to fire you. But because you indicated that you're ultimately considering leaving the organization -- the staffing bomb could go off at any time -- the boss would naturally have pause to provide you with additional resources for development if it seems likely it would all go to waste.

So, if your boss became chilly and passive aggressive, it's because they're now in something of a weird place. I'd put money on your boss being especially passive-aggressive and paranoid about the October trip because they were worried that you'd give notice at the end of your vacation, creating havoc in the department. I strongly suspect she was trying to get you to say that you were committed to your job or let her know specifically that you were leaving (so that she could work on hiring right away if that was the case).

Passive aggression isn't a good quality in a manager. When placed in this kind of situation, my feeling is that a good boss will sit down and say "You know, I really don't have any way to promote you right now. I really, really don't, even though I'd like to. I value your work, but not knowing the specifics of your plans to leave is putting me in a hard place trying to figure out what to do with the department. Is there something else I can do to make you happy here? Or if not, can I get more specifics from you?"

Also, while your boss is being kind of shitty, because she's not handling it well, I suspect that your boss isn't a terrible person engaging in gross negligence or abuse -- she's just not very good at handling this sort of situation. There are times where all of us need to manage our managers.

I think you might be able to rectify this without going over their head. Ask your boss directly, "I feel like I've been doing pretty good work, but you're still worried about my performance. Is it that you're worried that I'm not committed to the job because of our discussion about me potentially leaving in August? Let's discuss. Here are some more details on my plans."
posted by eschatfische at 10:33 AM on December 10, 2010 [6 favorites]


They plan for your replacement

Er, that was supposed to be "They can't plan for your replacement".
posted by eschatfische at 10:34 AM on December 10, 2010


This old boss is VERY influential in my line of work

So why not use this relationship to try to find a new, better position in your field? Why waste your time trying to harm your current boss's reputation with her supervisors when you could be finding a better job working for higher pay?
posted by Meg_Murry at 10:49 AM on December 10, 2010 [2 favorites]


If you can't go to your boss, you can go over your boss' head. Of course you have to pick your fight, but in this case it's either stagnation until you get a new boss or act while there's a chance. I would act, but it's your choice.
posted by Vindaloo at 11:12 AM on December 10, 2010


Having a 3rd party fight your battles is a bad idea. If you disagree about the raise, get lots of documentation together, and go to HR. If you have good documentation, you may be successful.
posted by theora55 at 11:33 AM on December 10, 2010


I didnt read most of the comments, but you mentioned moving to another job within the organization earlier in your post. Why not talk to your friend about finding you a better place under a different manager? If she has the pull you say she does it shouldn't be a problem. You might get your raise as well!
Also bad idea getting your current manager in trouble. These things have a way of blowing up.
posted by Busmick at 11:33 AM on December 10, 2010


I don't think this is a good idea. The maximum benefits (your boss getting reprimanded, etc.) don't seem to be even with the possible consequences (namely, if she's not going to fire you now, when she finds out where the criticism of her came from, she will). Also, things like this can have a way of following you around in your career. If you do something you enjoy, I wouldn't risk it.

That being said, if you do get the axe for your work performance, I'd use everything you have available to you to fight it since getting fired is going to follow you around too. But don't do anything to hasten this process, which it seems like what you're considering would do.

As other have suggested, why not use your contact to help you get another job?
posted by elder18 at 11:48 AM on December 10, 2010


Your #1 job as an employee is to have your boss's back. If you can't do that, it's time to find a new job.
posted by bfranklin at 11:51 AM on December 10, 2010


This workplace sounds absolutely toxic.

The best possible result of "getting your boss in trouble" would be that you gain a little momentary leverage/rank within a pack of backbiting, politicking hyenas. Which would certainly beat the hell out of being the omega in a pack of backbiting, politicking hyenas -- but there's got to be a better way.

Ask your boss -- in a mature, professional, and intrigue-less manner -- to help you reconcile her earlier positive assessment of your work with her subsequent negative review, and/or use your connection to search for a different job where success is not won through melodramatic social intrigues.
posted by foursentences at 11:57 AM on December 10, 2010


Your #1 job as an employee is to have your boss's back. If you can't do that, it's time to find a new job.

Wow! Seriously? Anyway, you are under no obligation to talk to your boss about anything. Companies can escort people out the door without cause or warning and I have seen it happen many times. If what use say is true, use every resource you can to stay employed and advance your career without looking back. Absolutely go over her head.
posted by repoman at 12:06 PM on December 10, 2010 [2 favorites]


Yes, let her raise it. She sounds politically savvy. Someone like that will take the facts of the situation and transmute it into something that works for the context. She would be an idiot to walk in and say "Boss is being mean to Anonymous and should be fired." She's not an idiot, therefore, she won't say that. She'll find a way to have this conversation go well. You need her help to troubleshoot whatever is going on behind the scenes, because it sounds bad. So accept it.

Before the meeting, emphasize that your ultimate goal is to keep your career moving. Let her know things are not good now. And take some responsibility for that awkwardness. (If necessary, your mentor needs to be able to say, "I think she realizes that her conversation with Boss didn't go well.") Undo anything negative done by an ultimatum. ("She really is committed to the success of this company, doesn't want to leave any projects in the lurch, and would like to find a solution that works for everyone.") Also, discuss Boss's strengths as a manager aside from the current strife. Find the best positive things you can say, because others also know your boss's strengths and weaknesses, so your honesty will reflect well on you. (If you have nothing positive to say, find something minor, like how she is always on time. You will be proverbially damning her with faint praise, but efforts to be kind will reflect well on you.) Finally, give her some very concrete facts about your performance ("increased sales by 25%").

Then your mentor will approach this meeting with the following goals:
- clean up any political fallout from the threat / ultimatum / sense of betrayal your boss perceived and try to keep you from getting fired
- help you get a better position
She will be armed with something nice to say about your boss that came from you, she will have your own admission that you could've done some things better to use, if it turns out the Boss's Boss agrees with Boss, and she will also be able to support her opinion that your work is good with some solid facts.

So, she might say "Anonymous does great work. I hear that from so many people. I wonder what her future in this organization is. Have you thought about where she might be headed?" And then the Boss's Boss will talk about what's going on. "Actually, her performance seems to have fallen off a cliff." Or "I agree, but curiously, her boss is really down on her work. What's that about, I wonder." Or "Actually, she gave an ultimatum about leaving, so we expect her to leave any day, what do you know about the other offers she's received?" Or "unfortunately, she approached Boss about a raise, and Boss felt betrayed, and I'm working with Boss on Boss's bad attitude, but how can we find Anonymous a better job?" Who knows what the conversation will be, but your mentor's help could really help. Just make sure she has what she needs to make this conversation go well.
posted by salvia at 12:45 PM on December 10, 2010 [2 favorites]


P.S. Please excuse my gender assumptions. I just threw in some pronouns.
posted by salvia at 12:46 PM on December 10, 2010


If I were in your shoes, I wouldn't take your old boss up on the offer, for all sorts of reasons. Instead, I would go to HR, and I would lay things out clearly and succinctly.

"Until a few weeks ago, I have been receiving constant praise from [boss], regarding the quality of my work. Some of this feedback has come verbally directly to be; some of it -- such as [the thing she said in front of everyone] -- she said in front of more than [number] of people. So, I thought things were going very well.

However, a few weeks ago I let [boss] know that I was looking for an opportunity for growth within the company, as I'm eager for additional responsibility and feel I can continue to deliver for the company. [number of weeks] later, she called me into her office unscheduled just before I left for vacation, and told me she's considered my performance to be unsatisfactory all year long -- which, obviously, is in direct conflict with the feedback I've been receiving throughout the year. I also didn't receive a nominal pay raise, whereas in previous pay periods I have.

I'm concerned about this, for obvious reasons, and I wanted to follow up with you folks regarding two things. First, given that all of the feedback I've mentioned has been verbal, I'm curious as to what written feedback exists in my file -- knowing whether her written feedback echoes her verbal feedback will help me have another conversation about this. Second, I'm concerned that this dramatic shift in her feedback is retaliatory in nature, based on the timing, and I want to follow proper procedures in following up on it: is it appropriate to have another conversation with her, or should I speak with her boss, or should communication go through you folks?"

Of course, if you're in a company that doesn't have an HR department because they're too small, you may be subject to the whims of this boss, and there might not be much you can do. However, if your boss has done this to you, they've likely done this to others, and contacting HR can hopefully get you the guidance and assistance you need. Plus, knowing what (if anything) has been written in your file should help you judge how much danger you're in; she'd be hard-pressed to fire you for a year's worth of (supposedly) poor behavior if there's no record of it, or if she has a record of praising your performance, and conversely if she has been giving you negative feedback on paper while praising you to your face -- but this written feedback has never been seen by you before (typically companies share that feedback with you, then have you sign it) -- then you know you'll want to consult a lawyer regarding your rights.

Good luck, and once you've gotten things moving, be sure to start looking for growth opportunities yourself. I recently worked for a boss that treated many of my coworkers as you describe, and it was due to her taking work things way too personally. For instance, there were no growth opportunities in her department, and when dedicated/awesome people elected to seek positions in growth-oriented teams, she would treat them like crap and get upset as if they were somehow stabbing her in the back. The best bosses want to help you succeed while they've got you, and want to see you go on to better things when you're ready to leave -- sounds like you don't have one of those.

postscript: that boss was fired. all the rest of us, including two that she gave a really hard time to, are still here
posted by davejay at 12:51 PM on December 10, 2010 [1 favorite]


I'm with thebazilist. If your old boss is so influential that she could get something like this straightened out, use that powerful connection to score your next gig and just forget the current boss. Have this person advocate for you to the uberboss as a plum candidate for some other open position.

And what's the wrong to be redressed here? Your feelings being hurt? Workplace relationships can be frustrating without being technically improper. Your boss being passive-aggressive is a very minor thing in the grand scheme of actionable workplace issues. And what do you really get by getting her in trouble aside from some petty satisfaction? It sounds like the real crime is that your boss gave you ongoing positive feedback and then all of a sudden new and contradictory assessment that you didn't have time to redress, which screwed you out of your incremental raise. That seems like it might be redressable through proper channels if not too much time has passed. You could go through HR and say that you feel your review was unjustified and make your case. That keeps things professional and gets you the money you deserve, unless there was some other company/budget reason you didn't get your raise. But if you're planning on leaving for a higher paying position anyway, is this really a high priority? You won't be there to get any adjusted pay rate that might result from an appeal.

But if the uberboss disciplines your boss, what will the criteria be? "A little bird told me you've been mean?" Seems like it would have to be the non-raise and performance review, since that's all that would be on paper. What else would they base it on? Would they really just summarily discipline her for things she's said to you without giving her a chance to support her case? And wouldn't that have to involve you presenting your own argument? This doesn't sound well thought out and kind of doesn't sound like something that would actually happen in a professional setting. Use your connection, leapfrog out of this situation into a better one, and leave it behind you.
posted by Askr at 1:24 PM on December 10, 2010 [1 favorite]


No.

Ask extra-influential former boss to serve as your reference and look for a new berth in the company (in another unit).
posted by arnicae at 1:32 PM on December 10, 2010


There's no such thing as "little or no blowback". Nastiness always has negative consequences, whether you can see it from a distance or not. Take the high road.

Agreed, but sometimes that distance is an excruciatingly long and painful ride and some people aren't patient or strong enough to take the long view of things.

Find another approach (which would include leaving if you can) or wait it out. Taking the kind of action you're anticipating may seem completely safe and be successful in the short run but workplace situations can and do change in unexpected ways. Underhanded maneuvers have ways of coming back to bite you--often when and where you'd least expect it--especially when you're dealing with the kind of people who like to keep score and view office politics as zero sum.

Your #1 job as an employee is to have your boss's back.

If you're completely confident that they have yours, perhaps. In my opinion, that kind of mutual trust has to be earned, and not just by virtue of a paycheck or a superior job title.
posted by fuse theorem at 5:22 PM on December 10, 2010


However, what your friend is proposing to do is not some kind of revenge fantasy, but rather an effort to address a situation that needs to be addressed, from the company's perspective.. In short, she's doing her job. If I owned your company and I found out that a talented employee was leaving because their boss was crapping on them, and that someone else in the chain of command (or at least around it), knew about it and did nothing, I'd be upset with that "someone else." (as well as the boss)

This a thousand times. Every big company I've worked for has had a formal system for doing internal mobility for a reason: it is incredibly bad for the company when a manager gets in the way of letting talented people grow and improve themselves. The company wants those people to stay and contribute, even if it means moving to a different group. The cost of recruiting and training new people into the company culture is usually quite high. Knowing that it is human nature for a manager to want to surround him or herself with good individuals and jealously guard those resources, having a formal policy in place is a necessary mitigant.

Since it sounds like your company doesn't have this mitigant, you absolutely should let your friend influence your career. It doesn't have to mean "getting your boss in trouble", so much as just making sure that your desires to find a new position within the company are known to the people that can make that happen. Your boss should also really get the message that this kind of behavior is not good for her long-term success.

Your #1 job as an employee is to have your boss's back.

You have this exactly backwards. Your #1 job as a boss is to enable your people to do their jobs well, and grow. The best boss trains her replacement, because if she doesn't, she also limits her own growth.
posted by ch1x0r at 10:12 AM on December 11, 2010


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