Nice, single guys that want girlfriends... Where you at?!
December 7, 2010 6:24 PM Subscribe
[NYCFilter] Where can I meet nice guys for friendship/relationship? 21 year old never-been-in-a-relationship-before single female here. I am NOT interested in online dating at this point. I want to try it the (good?) old-fashioned way first: meeting face-to-face.
posted by anonymous to human relations (41 answers total) 19 users marked this as a favorite
Anon because I'm so embarassed to have to ask a question like this. I know its all about location, location, location but I'm never anywhere where eligible guys are. So I am looking to all MeFites to tell me where to go! Many many many details and snowflakiness below.
I attend school in downtown Manhattan and live in an off-campus, private apartment in the same area. This is my last year at the school, so if there were any prospective fellas, I would've met them already. The male population was either gay, taken, or just not for me (and some I think I scared off because I really had never talked to guys prior to college and just didn't know how to act). My building is mostly inhabited by families or older people. I am currently looking for a job and internship (ideally retail job and marketing/pr internship) but no one's hiring, so those are two more places that I can't find a guy. I previously worked in retail and loved it but all the guys there were again: either gay, taken or not for me.
I don't really have any hobbies. I'm usually so tired when I get home from class or whatnot and just want to veg out on the couch and watch TV or surf the internet. I know that that's not fun and no one wants a boring person. But all the things I'm interested in pursuing are too expensive or not guy-oriented. For example, I would like to take up judo/jujitsu, trapeze or aerial arts, or learn squash or how to make stained glass windows (yes I like weird things. Never be normal!). I really don't have money for that. I do volunteer- but its for an organization that helps female domestic violence victims. And I like yoga and pilates. But I'm not going to meet any guys doing that.
What do I do for fun? Um, I walk around and explore the city for fun and also because sometimes I'm too cheap to pay for the subway. When I have money, I love to go to different restaurants. I like shopping. I like going to Barnes & Noble to read the latest tabloids and check out new books. A guy there actually asked me out once and I was planning on going out with him but he was totally unflexible about meeting during times when I wasn't working. The idea of an ultimate frisbee or volleyball meetup is horrifying to me (brings back terrible memories of middle school gym class) so please don't say that. I'm uncoordinated and seriously doubt me getting hit in the head every five seconds and taking 15 minutes to serve the ball will be a turn on to anyone. (I would be a smidge more willing to publicly humiliate myself for a sport that I actually want to learn). I'm not a big fan of indie or live music but if my future guy is, then I'll happily go with him. Although I don't really have anything against Brooklyn or Queens, I also have no reason to go there and my friends don't either so that's out too.
The only way I think I put myself out there right now is by going out to bars on the weekend, and I know that lasting relationships are not formed at bars. (I am seriously thinking about going to bar trivia, but I really doubt that my friends will want to come with me and it's not a smart idea for a female to go to an unfamiliar bar alone). I really do love going out with a girlfriend and having a crazy night. Our gameplan is to get guys to buy us drinks all night and it usually is quite successful... But at the end of the day, I would rather trade the drinks for a date. I've met some really nice guys and even though I rejected all their advances, they would still be nice enough to cuddle with me, chat, and make me breakfast the next morning... or maybe they were just trying to be a good wingman and occupy me while their friend was hooking up with my friend...
I'm ideally looking for a guy a few years older than me because the majority of guys my age still have sex on the brain 24/7, and I also just prefer older guys. But I'll still set my range as 22-30, educated, not broke, sweet, and brave/willing enough to walk a nonexperienced chick through... everything, datingwise. From hand-holding onwards. He MUST be confident enough to approach and pursue me because I'm too shy and inexperienced to know if a guy is interested. If you're a guy like this, where do you hang out?
It's depressing for me to think about how old I am and how I've never even been close to having a boyfriend. I'm nowhere near overweight nor am I terribly ugly... I'm just shy, stuck in a rut, and too broke to extricate myself from it. I know that I shouldn't depend on someone to make me happy... but I would still like to be happy and go through normal life stages like everyone else. I know I can do it, I just need to know where to go.