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dating profile curiosity.
December 6, 2010 6:54 PM   Subscribe

why would someone log in to an online dating website multiple times a day when their profile is mostly empty, besides age, sex, etc. and a picture of themselves?
posted by achtland to Human Relations (27 answers total) 2 users marked this as a favorite
 
To look at the profiles of others?
posted by Electrius at 6:56 PM on December 6, 2010 [14 favorites]


Hope. They are checking if anyone has contacted them.
posted by unliteral at 6:57 PM on December 6, 2010


They are looking at other people's profiles.
posted by amro at 7:03 PM on December 6, 2010


Seconding looking at other people's profiles. Why would they do that? Lots of reasons. Maybe they're stalking someone? Maybe they're just checking to see what the dating pool is like on that dating website before spending the time and effort to set up a full profile? Maybe they just like to look at pictures of people on dating websites?
posted by mhum at 7:04 PM on December 6, 2010 [1 favorite]


May they're so good looking that people are sending them messages even without any additional info.
posted by the jam at 7:18 PM on December 6, 2010


They are making sure their ex hasn't created an account yet.
posted by unknowncommand at 7:18 PM on December 6, 2010 [7 favorites]


S/he could also be scoping out what profiles appeal to her/him, not quite knowing what to write in a profile. A lot of online dating site profiles start with some variation of, "I'm not good at talking about myself..."
posted by xingcat at 7:19 PM on December 6, 2010


If this is okcupid then it would be to 'stalk' without appearing on the other persons visitor list.
posted by special-k at 7:22 PM on December 6, 2010 [3 favorites]


Privacy. Employers, exes or current partners will have a hard time filtering for somebody who has given only this information - they can't filter by picture content and the other information will give too many results to scan. Yet this user can still effectively hunt for potential matches on the site (and provide just those targets with their full profile information).
posted by rongorongo at 7:24 PM on December 6, 2010


Depends on the site.

-To browse before they finish making their profile
-To be anonymous if they are a high-profile employee
-To spy on a boyfriend/girlfriend
-To spy on a love interest
-Low self-esteem, just browsing
posted by KogeLiz at 7:25 PM on December 6, 2010


They might want to get a sense of who else is on the site before committing further.
posted by box at 7:32 PM on December 6, 2010


Entertainment? Research for school paper? To mass message potential hook-ups by whining about how they are withering away in their sexless marriage with that heartless shrew...?
posted by vivid postcard at 7:35 PM on December 6, 2010 [1 favorite]


backstory: this is a guy i was involved with and he's been on all the time whenever i log on since we stopped talking but for some reason hasn't viewed my profile once. maybe he's browsing anonymously, or is just exchanging emails/ims with someone on there a lot. just weird since he cleared his profile other than the basic info and photo.
posted by achtland at 7:45 PM on December 6, 2010


Heh. I have been there.

My advice: Don't ever go to this persons okcupid page again, it will drive you nuts.
posted by empath at 7:48 PM on December 6, 2010 [5 favorites]


Maybe the profile doesn't belong to him? Or did you meet him through that site when the profile looked more normal?
posted by Rube R. Nekker at 7:50 PM on December 6, 2010


gah! sorry ... meant to hit the top of that question.
posted by Rube R. Nekker at 7:51 PM on December 6, 2010


^it's his...he showed it to me when it was all filled out before and has since deleted the info. we've also talked on there and have each other on our favorite lists...
posted by achtland at 7:55 PM on December 6, 2010


You've stopped talking. Why would he view your profile?
posted by J. Wilson at 8:02 PM on December 6, 2010 [5 favorites]


Are you sure he's actually logging in and active? A lot of sites will show you as "online" if you log into one browser tab and then ignore it all day long.
posted by ErikaB at 8:39 PM on December 6, 2010


Is it this guy?

Forget about him.
posted by John Cohen at 8:48 PM on December 6, 2010 [5 favorites]


Hope. They are checking if anyone has contacted them

This would be it.
posted by Ironmouth at 10:20 PM on December 6, 2010


Habit? He's gotten so used to visiting that he continues even though he's deleted a lot of his profile?
posted by ranglin at 10:49 PM on December 6, 2010


no, it's a guy i have actually met & there wasn't some agreement to stop talking completely - we just haven't spoken for a week or so which is kinda unusual. i was just curious as to what was going on with him (i haven't tried contacting him either) and wanted other opinions. it's all just probably just useless speculation but oh well.
posted by achtland at 2:29 AM on December 7, 2010


whoops i edited that last sentence in an odd way, err.
posted by achtland at 2:32 AM on December 7, 2010


backstory: this is a guy i was involved with and he's been on all the time whenever i log on since we stopped talking but for some reason hasn't viewed my profile once. maybe he's browsing anonymously, or is just exchanging emails/ims with someone on there a lot. just weird since he cleared his profile other than the basic info and photo.

Sounds like he's chatting with someone online a lot ?
Maybe he deleted his profile information because he doesn't want anyone contacting him right now.
posted by KogeLiz at 6:41 AM on December 7, 2010


I would be willing to bet the person has burned out on trying to meet new people, so they stripped their profile of anything to allure new visitors, but has kept it up in the hopes of maintaining contact with someone they've already been in contact with.
posted by SassHat at 10:18 AM on December 7, 2010


You're going to drive yourself nuts with stuff like this. The way to have fun with online dating is not to use the tools it gives you to go all Nancy Drew on their asses, but to take people at face value. If they're reaching out to you, they're into you; if they're not, spying on their on-site activity isn't going to get you anywhere except into a state of anxiety.

Keep calm and carry on.
posted by Sidhedevil at 12:31 PM on December 7, 2010 [3 favorites]


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