Zany last-minute gift exchange gift?

December 1, 2010 1:01 PM

What creative, outlandish gift can my friend get at the last minute for a white elephant Christmas gift exchange that is being held this evening?

He had stuff ordered, but the package was delayed due to weather and holidays, and won't be here in time. He is currently contemplating just printing out the information for the items he ordered, but that seems kind of lame.

His pride and honor are at stake, so pass along your creative, outlandish, comical ideas that he could conceivably find in the next couple of hours (in the Houston area, if that matters). The crazier the better.

The price limit is $30, and the rules prohibit X-rated gifts, personal services, live animals, and illegal items. Pretty much anything else is fair game.

posted by greenmagnet to shopping (14 answers total)

Go to a thrift store, and find the tackiest thing on the junk shelf. Problem solved.
posted by strixus at 1:04 PM on December 1, 2010

$30 of bacon in a foam cooler.
posted by advicepig at 1:05 PM on December 1, 2010

$30 worth of bagged manure from a garden store, wrapped up along with the pallet supporting it. Alternatively any other kind of heavy, bulky, cheap landscaping material that will have an imposing presence but be amusingly disappointing when opened.
posted by contraption at 1:06 PM on December 1, 2010

A case of canned cat food and a few boxes of crackers.
posted by specialagentwebb at 1:07 PM on December 1, 2010

There is a tradition in my family that might work for your friend.

There is this one hugely ugly bowl that gets passed around. The thing is about the size of a punch bowl and looks (badly) handmade. Every year one person wraps the bowl filled with tasty, tasty Christmas treats (must be homemade) and wraps it up really beautifully.

Every year we all seem to forget that the ugly bowl exsists because somebody will chose the large, pretty box. That person gets the joy of displaying The Bowl all year long and filling it for next year's party.

Your friend can head down to the local thrift store and find some kind of fugly pottery to fill with homemade cookies and start his own tradition.
posted by TooFewShoes at 1:09 PM on December 1, 2010 [6 favorites]

Someone just told me yesterday about a White Elephant they went to where one of the presents was a big box of chocolates. It got stolen a couple of times before someone decided to open it.

Every chocolate had a bite taken out of it.
posted by Lyn Never at 1:10 PM on December 1, 2010 [13 favorites]

Old rusted automotive part.

My boss has a trophy for his NASCAR pool that is some engine part mounted on a piece of wood. Ugly as sin, but boy is he proud if he wins it!
posted by Leezie at 1:13 PM on December 1, 2010

Get six $5 boxes of Raisin Bran, tie them together, and then wrap them like one giant Christmas package. "Holy shit, look at the size of that gift! I gotta have that!"
posted by Cool Papa Bell at 1:15 PM on December 1, 2010

Go to your local chain drug store (Rite-Aid, Walgreen's, etc.) They will have several aisles of kitschy crap to choose from. That's where I bought a singing, dancing, ugly, Crhistmas hat for a similar occasion.
posted by Lone_Wolf at 1:27 PM on December 1, 2010

You can get some really cool lego sets for $30 and practically everyone loves legos!
posted by HMSSM at 1:35 PM on December 1, 2010 [1 favorite]

$30 of lottery tickets.
posted by theora55 at 1:45 PM on December 1, 2010

How 'bout a Let My People Go toilet seat?

Does that rate high enough on the on the Zany continuum?
posted by Exchequer at 3:37 PM on December 1, 2010

We've given a giant jar of pickles as a white elephant gift. It looks big, and is easy to find in a store.
posted by Gilbert at 3:52 PM on December 1, 2010

Red Ryder BB Gun, just don't shoot your eye out.
posted by bricksNmortar at 5:57 PM on December 1, 2010