November 23, 2010 3:09 PM Subscribe
My boyfriend is putting weight on. It doesn't bother me, but it bothers him. How can I help him change his habits without damaging his self-esteem?
posted by anonymous to Health & Fitness (19 answers total) 6 users marked this as a favorite
I need to stress - this is not a 'help my man be less fat' question. Well, it is, but not in that way. I am not less attracted to him at all (I actually rather like chubby men) although I have noticed he has got bigger. I have noticed, too, that he's getting very down about it. I've lost a little weight myself recently (stomach bug plus a bit of exercise, though there's more to lose) and I think that's made him worry more about it.
He cycles to work and back, so does get exercise, but it's left him with a big belly which I know makes him self-conscious. He already hates clothes shopping and is putting it off more because he doesn't want to think about it. He has a big sweet tooth - he will eat a 100g chocolate bar in an evening easily, whereas it can sit in my fridge for a few weeks - and drinks a lot of soda pop. The other complication is he tends to snack a lot when he feels down or stressed about work (we don't live in the same city so there's a limit to what I can do to help this other than just be there to talk to) and often he will come home late and turn to convenience food because it requires no effort (I am guilty of this at times too). At the same time, he feels self-conscious about his shape. He also recently quit smoking which is probably not helping.
I cook mostly when i come over, but I do worry that if I started cooking 'healthy' meals he will wonder if there's something up and get hurt. I know, though, that he wants to change things. I'm planning on getting a bit fitter myself (no idea how just yet!) and was wondering whether it's something we can both get involved with - I have a wee belly too and I'd like to shrink that down. Was there anything that helped you get over sweet snacking or to lose body fat that was round the belly? Is there a way to help without seeming like I'm doing it for my benefit more than his?