Gag gift for future Halliburton employee

November 22, 2010 8:22 AM

What would be a good gag gift for a coworker leaving to go work for Halliburton?

We have to be able to get it by Wednesday, so I can't send away for anything. I'm thinking something to do with evil empire and/or Darth Vader, but the hive mind is phenomenally creative.

Other data points:

- We don't compete with Halliburton; it's a new field for him
- He's Pakistani and Muslim
- He's recently engaged
- He lives at home with his parents
- He's very into physical fitness
- I don't know his politics

posted by Clambone to Work & Money (18 answers total)

Go to a shoe shop and get him some Sole Repair goo. He'll need it for his sole. :P
posted by Pickman's Next Top Model at 8:27 AM on November 22, 2010

Can you make a copy of the bracelet Dick Cheney wears saying he is walking undead, lacks a heart, doesn't have a pulse because of a special pump?
posted by JMOZ at 8:35 AM on November 22, 2010

I don't know his politics

Then don't get him a politically-charged gag gift unless you're comfortable taking the risk of offending him.
posted by Inspector.Gadget at 8:41 AM on November 22, 2010 [9 favorites]

A "Mission Accomplished" sign.

Too tangential?
posted by Seamus at 8:41 AM on November 22, 2010

I don't know his politics

The whole Cheney is evil thing, however true, is a bit tacky and dated at this point. Since you don't know his politics, might I suggest something that's not bashing the company he's going to work for? A gag gift he could perhaps keep in his new office?

I'm sure this is done with best intentions, but you don't want to leave people with a sour taste in their mouth.
posted by geoff. at 8:44 AM on November 22, 2010 [1 favorite]

My old Professor left to go work at Monsanto recently and his gift from the university colleagues was a Darth Vader helmet. You know... dark side.
posted by palacewalls at 8:49 AM on November 22, 2010

Quart of 30 weight oil poured on his desk?
posted by Freedomboy at 8:50 AM on November 22, 2010 [3 favorites]

A "Get Out Of Jail Free" card.
posted by Aquaman at 8:52 AM on November 22, 2010 [1 favorite]

A bag of cement, with a note saying: "Next time, make sure they use the good stuff".
posted by bonehead at 9:11 AM on November 22, 2010

30 pieces of silver?
posted by T.D. Strange at 9:18 AM on November 22, 2010 [1 favorite]

An official-looking receipt recording the sale of one's soul.
posted by Cool Papa Bell at 9:19 AM on November 22, 2010

It's still possible to get a gag gift without knowing his politics.

For example, you could make him a papercraft HAL 9000 in reference to Halliburton's NYSE ticker being HAL.

The hi-res template links in that article seem to be broken though... :(
posted by 256 at 9:21 AM on November 22, 2010 [1 favorite]

A Halliburton case?
posted by Jahaza at 9:51 AM on November 22, 2010

Or a Zero Halliburton case that's locked, and you don't give him the keys.
posted by UrineSoakedRube at 10:20 AM on November 22, 2010 [1 favorite]

Luggagepros.com can do 2-day and even next-day delivery. They have camera cases from $300, and 2-day would be $50.

It's a bit pricey for a gag gift, but you could give him the keys at a later time.
posted by UrineSoakedRube at 10:24 AM on November 22, 2010

A canvas bag with a dollar sign on it? Googling "dollar sign bag" pulls up lots of possibilities for as little as two bucks.
posted by Gilbert at 1:05 PM on November 22, 2010

Paper shredder?
posted by Bugg at 1:08 PM on November 22, 2010 [1 favorite]

Tasteless and too expensive, but I would suggest a shipping container and a pack of condoms.
posted by ambulocetus at 5:07 PM on November 22, 2010