My ex treats me like crap... Help me get over it.
November 18, 2010 11:16 AM Subscribe
I am no longer with the father of my child and he treats me like crap. In person, over email, on the phone. We've got a long way to go here - our kid isn't even three yet. I'm trying to not take it personally and to let it go, but I am struggling...
posted by voneil to Human Relations (28 answers total) 2 users marked this as a favorite
He runs the gamut from ignoring me to responding to my questions with contempt - every interchange is a exercise in conflict and nastiness. I can see his disgust for me on his FACE! He has no respect for me, period. And I treat him well. I am tolerant and kind, and I respect him ( I KNOW. Give me a medal or something). I mean - he's my kids' DAD! That's important to me.
I don't need to say I in no way deserve to be treated like this, do I?
This is nothing new, and is one of the (many) reasons we are no longer together. Our time in therapy did nothing to unearth the root of this behavior - I can only speculate it's a combination of the dysthymia he's struggled with since he was a teen and the unhappiness he has inside. He doesn't have many friends, and is a pretty heavy introvert.
I've brought his behavior up numerous times to him - especially since I don't want our child to witness it and think it's an appropriate way for a man to treat a woman. He gets better for a week, then he's back at it again.
Fortunately, I realize the way he treats me has nothing to do with me - it's all on him and I am glad to be at a point in my life and mature enough not to take it personally. But that is HARD. One side of me knows I need to let it GO already - just ignore him and his unfortunate behavior - but the other side is all righteous and saying "You deserve better! Do unto OTHERS, dammit!" Maybe even some finger wagging.
So I need to figure out how to move forward. Accept this and move on. He's a twit, he's always been a twit, he's always going to be a twit and that's the end of it. It's not going to change.
But it doesn't seem to be that easy...