Should I text this stranger?
November 15, 2010 10:52 AM Subscribe
Yesterday I received a text message from an excited stranger asking me whether I was ready for some sort of meet-up (possibly a first date) tomorrow (today). I duly yet tongue-in-cheekly informed her that she had the wrong number. Now I'm wondering, on a scale from stalker/freak/weirdo to fun/random/friendly, how inappropriate would it be for me to follow up tomorrow, asking if it went as well as she hoped? (Obviously in a humorous and "I'm aware of how random this is" kinda way)
posted by spr to Human Relations (95 answers total) 3 users marked this as a favorite
I know you are asking yourself "WHY??".
Well, having grown from being an introverted, socially awkward loner to just being socially awkward, I have learned that a lot of fun can be had with people if we put ourselves out there. I have learned that people enjoy attention and interaction. I have learned that I would rather regret something I did rather than something I didn't do. I have discovered the value of taking chances and following impulses, of saying yes, of hopping on a plane with someone you've only met twice, of kissing the girl because you feel like it, of ignoring norms and of just plain ol' living life without giving a hoot about the consequences. If you obey all the rules, you'll miss all the fun, right?
Now, I'm not an animal. I do mostly analyze and think things over quite extensively (seemingly more than most people, even), but always with the above firmly planted in the front of my mind. If I can't see a seriously compelling reason not to do something, then I will hopefully go ahead and do it.
This is one of those cases where I see no serious reason not to do it; however, it seems to reek of intrusive scary weird psycho-stalker type inappropriateness. If I am to stay true to myself, then I will go ahead anyway. I mean, it doesn't cost me thing. What's the worst that could happen? It's not like she will be scarred for life or get a restraining order against me. I'm expecting a simple response along the lines of "Oh it was great :)" at which point I'll probably leave her alone. Best case, however, it will be a conversation starter which might lead to a new acquaintance, if not friendship or even something more. Side-effects may include: a story to tell, additional confidence in interpersonal relationships, a lesson in human nature.
So that's my reasoning for doing it. Let's see if anyone can talk me out of it.
The only reason why I'm making a big deal out of this is that I've read too many comments here in Ask about not doing this or that because that would be inappropriate or scary or stalkerish etc. Otherwise I would probably have gone ahead no questions asked just for the hell of it.
- I suggested that the message might have been about a first date because if she already knew the person then she probably wouldn't have messed up the number. This was probably the first time she messaged them. Also, she seemed excited and possibly nervous the way women in my experience tend to be ahead of a first date (as opposed to just a regular, friendly gathering).
- I looked up her number online. Turns out I don't know her (surely you figured that much already), but she lives in my (relatively small) city. Although I do want to follow up in order to humor myself and because I enjoy poking and prodding people to see how they react, I must admit I wouldn't have been this engaged if she didn't live in my city. Or if she'd been a guy for that matter.
Feel free to be ruthless when judging me and my thoughts. Tear me apart if you must.