Is this ADD?
November 9, 2010 12:20 AM Subscribe
Does this sound like ADD? And what should I do about it?
So....
I've always been distraction prone, and my ability to work (particularly especially totally on the computer) has always been negatively impacted by it (probably starting around my neopets addiction in fifth grade).
It's pretty much just chronic procrastination.
I can't work for long periods of time. I tell myself to work, make lists and set deadlines, provide myself with incentives. Sometimes I can get really drawn into something and work on it for maybe an hour, tops. But then it's back to whatever: and it isn't like one thing is super compelling. It could be a random news article that just leads to more and more links or reading or whatever. It could be email, it could be google reader. And I'm good at reading those things for hours at a time, I just can't do my work.
It isn't just that my work (homework) bores me (though usually it does). Sometimes, I admit, I may be too intimidated/scared/disinterested to start the project.
With other things (like volunteering) I can focus for hours and be very 'normal'. But I've never been able to listen to and absorb a lecture (or at least a history one, sometimes I could get all the way through econ lectures, a subject I love). The weird part is, in class sometimes/often I'm the one to hunker down and finish the in class worksheet first, avoiding distraction, because I know it'll be fun and less stressful to be done before everyone else. But I can never, ever do that when it comes to homework. It's basically procrastination to the extreme.
I've tried apps and things like leechblock to stop you from getting sidetracked, I just make excuses to myself (15 minute snack and email break!) and end up getting sidetracked for long periods of time, again. Also, I can pretty much get distracted on any site. One time, I spent 3 hours reading a forum about going on cruise ships from top to bottom. Not only have I never been on a cruise but I don't have any particular desire to go on one.
Whatever the root of my procrastination habit is, it's really damaging to me at this point. My grades are currently low, and though I usually pick them up before the semester ends, my GPA is notably lower than my similarly high-achieving peers (I feel like having the top SAT score of your HS class by far but not even being top 10% in class rank is telling). After a particularly large project that basically paralyzed me for months and really hurt my ability to work on other things (even though I found myself unable to work on the project), I had multiple breakdowns in school last week, a few in front of teachers (yeah...). I'm just so stressed, which doesn't make sense when I consider that I'm really probably spending <1>this(while procrastinating, of course) and it is fascinating. Do I just need to be better about controlling my impulses? Or should I see a professional? What kind of professional should I seek out, and what's the best way to go about finding one? What sorts of things would they do to help?
Also, general tips for getting things done would be appreciated. Sometimes I can unplug the router or whatever for a while but that doesn't do all that much (see above, I can get distracted by anything). Also, eventually I have to look something up for homework online and then I get sucked into other stuff and there goes three hours...
The other sticky part of this is that I don't want full on counseling. I strongly, strongly don't. I know I have other skeletons in the closet, completely unrelated, and I'm not at a point where I want to talk to anyone about them. My worry would be that I'd have to do the full on counseling thing, which I'm just not ready for and don't want. Please respect the fact that I've made this decision and have no intention of changing it. Could I just get evaluated for my difficulties with getting homework done and not deal with other stuff if I went to a therapist or similar?
So....
I've always been distraction prone, and my ability to work (particularly especially totally on the computer) has always been negatively impacted by it (probably starting around my neopets addiction in fifth grade).
It's pretty much just chronic procrastination.
I can't work for long periods of time. I tell myself to work, make lists and set deadlines, provide myself with incentives. Sometimes I can get really drawn into something and work on it for maybe an hour, tops. But then it's back to whatever: and it isn't like one thing is super compelling. It could be a random news article that just leads to more and more links or reading or whatever. It could be email, it could be google reader. And I'm good at reading those things for hours at a time, I just can't do my work.
It isn't just that my work (homework) bores me (though usually it does). Sometimes, I admit, I may be too intimidated/scared/disinterested to start the project.
With other things (like volunteering) I can focus for hours and be very 'normal'. But I've never been able to listen to and absorb a lecture (or at least a history one, sometimes I could get all the way through econ lectures, a subject I love). The weird part is, in class sometimes/often I'm the one to hunker down and finish the in class worksheet first, avoiding distraction, because I know it'll be fun and less stressful to be done before everyone else. But I can never, ever do that when it comes to homework. It's basically procrastination to the extreme.
I've tried apps and things like leechblock to stop you from getting sidetracked, I just make excuses to myself (15 minute snack and email break!) and end up getting sidetracked for long periods of time, again. Also, I can pretty much get distracted on any site. One time, I spent 3 hours reading a forum about going on cruise ships from top to bottom. Not only have I never been on a cruise but I don't have any particular desire to go on one.
Whatever the root of my procrastination habit is, it's really damaging to me at this point. My grades are currently low, and though I usually pick them up before the semester ends, my GPA is notably lower than my similarly high-achieving peers (I feel like having the top SAT score of your HS class by far but not even being top 10% in class rank is telling). After a particularly large project that basically paralyzed me for months and really hurt my ability to work on other things (even though I found myself unable to work on the project), I had multiple breakdowns in school last week, a few in front of teachers (yeah...). I'm just so stressed, which doesn't make sense when I consider that I'm really probably spending <1>this(while procrastinating, of course) and it is fascinating. Do I just need to be better about controlling my impulses? Or should I see a professional? What kind of professional should I seek out, and what's the best way to go about finding one? What sorts of things would they do to help?
Also, general tips for getting things done would be appreciated. Sometimes I can unplug the router or whatever for a while but that doesn't do all that much (see above, I can get distracted by anything). Also, eventually I have to look something up for homework online and then I get sucked into other stuff and there goes three hours...
The other sticky part of this is that I don't want full on counseling. I strongly, strongly don't. I know I have other skeletons in the closet, completely unrelated, and I'm not at a point where I want to talk to anyone about them. My worry would be that I'd have to do the full on counseling thing, which I'm just not ready for and don't want. Please respect the fact that I've made this decision and have no intention of changing it. Could I just get evaluated for my difficulties with getting homework done and not deal with other stuff if I went to a therapist or similar?
You sound normal. Just take a deep breath or two. We are all distractable to one degree or another; nothing in our evolutionary history has prepared us for all the quiet sitting that modern life expects of us.
To avoid distraction-by-computer: try working in 45-minute blocks. Unplug the internets at the router, work for 45 minutes, and then connect and goof off for 15 minutes (carefully timed) as a reward to yourself for that three-quarters of an hour you just spent doing something productive. Make sure you get some physical activity in before you try to sit down and focus. Go running, go for a walk, whatever you like to do. In my experience this is the single most important thing I can do to ensure that your designated "productivity" time is actually productive.
posted by killdevil at 1:45 AM on November 9, 2010 [2 favorites]
To avoid distraction-by-computer: try working in 45-minute blocks. Unplug the internets at the router, work for 45 minutes, and then connect and goof off for 15 minutes (carefully timed) as a reward to yourself for that three-quarters of an hour you just spent doing something productive. Make sure you get some physical activity in before you try to sit down and focus. Go running, go for a walk, whatever you like to do. In my experience this is the single most important thing I can do to ensure that your designated "productivity" time is actually productive.
posted by killdevil at 1:45 AM on November 9, 2010 [2 favorites]
It doesn't sound like ADD to me (I've been on and off of mess for it for a decade) - it seems that you have no trouble concentrating on the activities and subjects you enjoy. ADD, to me at least, comes with the endless frustration of not being able to study/work on/do the things you love.
posted by halogen at 1:53 AM on November 9, 2010
posted by halogen at 1:53 AM on November 9, 2010
As telstar says, you could probably get a prescription for something if that's what you feel you need. While ADD is a very real, life-altering condition, there are also a lot of people who are borderline-ADD, or even outside the recognised spectrum, who suffer the frustration of being unable to concentrate for very long on the things they feel they should be doing. Who's to say that if those people shouldn't take medication too if it can produce a tangible benefit? Assuming you're outside the spectrum of ADD (and that may or may not be the case), it becomes a question of how you feel about self-medicating to improve performance. Some people find the idea abhorrent on principle; others take a more pragmatic view.
posted by le morte de bea arthur at 2:22 AM on November 9, 2010
posted by le morte de bea arthur at 2:22 AM on November 9, 2010
Disclaimer: Please take my previous remark as a point for philosophical consideration, not as medical advice.
posted by le morte de bea arthur at 2:24 AM on November 9, 2010
posted by le morte de bea arthur at 2:24 AM on November 9, 2010
Yes, it sounds like it could be ADD. Take one of the online inventories for symptoms and then talk to your doctor.
Don't listen to those who moralize that many 'normal' people have these symptoms and just use willpower/motivational tricks to overcome them. ADD is a real physical problem.
I wear glasses. I could possibly get by with squinting, improving my lighting, etc. But a set of lenses in front of my eyes lets me read at the same level of effort as a 20/20 sighted person (more or less.)
Well, you could try all sorts of behavioral tricks and environmental adjustments to help you concentrate better (which I recommend. helpful!) but it doesn't eliminate the fact that an ADD person cannot focus and filter out stimuli as well as a normal person. Medication for ADD is kind of like glasses. Not everyone needs "coke bottle" lenses. In my case, a small adjustment helps me just fine, And I don't take the medicine on days when I don't need it, just like I don't wear my reading glasses I am not reading.
Worth looking into. Guilt free.
posted by cross_impact at 3:03 AM on November 9, 2010 [1 favorite]
Don't listen to those who moralize that many 'normal' people have these symptoms and just use willpower/motivational tricks to overcome them. ADD is a real physical problem.
I wear glasses. I could possibly get by with squinting, improving my lighting, etc. But a set of lenses in front of my eyes lets me read at the same level of effort as a 20/20 sighted person (more or less.)
Well, you could try all sorts of behavioral tricks and environmental adjustments to help you concentrate better (which I recommend. helpful!) but it doesn't eliminate the fact that an ADD person cannot focus and filter out stimuli as well as a normal person. Medication for ADD is kind of like glasses. Not everyone needs "coke bottle" lenses. In my case, a small adjustment helps me just fine, And I don't take the medicine on days when I don't need it, just like I don't wear my reading glasses I am not reading.
Worth looking into. Guilt free.
posted by cross_impact at 3:03 AM on November 9, 2010 [1 favorite]
The only way to tell is to test for it. I recommend you do that because whatever the answer is it will make it easier to decide what to do about it.
There are coaches who are specialised on clients with attention deficits, by the way, who help them become more productive. So regardless of whether you end up taking meds or not, there are changes on the behavioural side that you can get help for.
posted by Omnomnom at 3:21 AM on November 9, 2010
There are coaches who are specialised on clients with attention deficits, by the way, who help them become more productive. So regardless of whether you end up taking meds or not, there are changes on the behavioural side that you can get help for.
posted by Omnomnom at 3:21 AM on November 9, 2010
It sounds like it, but it could be anything. You need to go to a brain-enabled (psychiatrist or neurologist) doctor specializing in ADD/ADHD. Going to your family doctor won't tell you much as it's a specialist issue to diagnose, with a lot of nuance and subtlety.
If the doctor you see is any good they'll be able to direct you to a range of resources both pharmacological and social, including life coaches, therapists, support groups, etc. according to taste.
posted by tel3path at 4:15 AM on November 9, 2010
If the doctor you see is any good they'll be able to direct you to a range of resources both pharmacological and social, including life coaches, therapists, support groups, etc. according to taste.
posted by tel3path at 4:15 AM on November 9, 2010
It could very well be ADD. Whatever you do, find out. I wasn't diagnosed until I was in my late forties. I wish I'd known thirty years earlier.
posted by steambadger at 4:52 AM on November 9, 2010 [4 favorites]
posted by steambadger at 4:52 AM on November 9, 2010 [4 favorites]
You might want to look up information on Monochronic and Polychronic perceptions of time.
I suspect that (like me) (as evidenced by my typing this when I'm supposed to be getting the kid ready for school) you're Polychronic in nature, and while seeking an ADD diagnosis, and treatment if needed, is probably a great idea - if it's simply the case that you'd work well in a different culture or out in the real world, as opposed to school, you'll just have to be patient and creative and look for what works for you.
You eventually may just need to learn techniques and tricks or to schedule and shape your work - and to think about careers and plans that are more fluid rather than more rigid. And working on interpersonal skills that keep you from constantly offending the monochrons in your life is probably a good idea (says the person who really has to stop typing now and brush her daughter's hair).
posted by peagood at 5:15 AM on November 9, 2010
I suspect that (like me) (as evidenced by my typing this when I'm supposed to be getting the kid ready for school) you're Polychronic in nature, and while seeking an ADD diagnosis, and treatment if needed, is probably a great idea - if it's simply the case that you'd work well in a different culture or out in the real world, as opposed to school, you'll just have to be patient and creative and look for what works for you.
You eventually may just need to learn techniques and tricks or to schedule and shape your work - and to think about careers and plans that are more fluid rather than more rigid. And working on interpersonal skills that keep you from constantly offending the monochrons in your life is probably a good idea (says the person who really has to stop typing now and brush her daughter's hair).
posted by peagood at 5:15 AM on November 9, 2010
I have no experience with ADD, and am not going to address this issue here.
I would like to point out that for some people, a lack of motivation is a huge and absolutely paralyzing factor. This is the reason why I was utterly crappy at school and am now publishing books in a language that isn't even my own.
Issues of a lacking self confidence and a resulting procrastination habit may well follow in the wake of just not being able to get over that "gah" threshold.
As to being able to follow lectures, it's an acquired skill (just as giving lectures, believe me) and its not easy.
Anway, the first thing I'd do in your place is to identify all those items, moments of the day, tasks etc. that actually do motivate you, and then to pour some carefully applied extra energy into those. Try not to worry about the rest while doing so. Establish trust in yourself by starting at that end; more will follow.
posted by Namlit at 5:20 AM on November 9, 2010 [1 favorite]
I would like to point out that for some people, a lack of motivation is a huge and absolutely paralyzing factor. This is the reason why I was utterly crappy at school and am now publishing books in a language that isn't even my own.
Issues of a lacking self confidence and a resulting procrastination habit may well follow in the wake of just not being able to get over that "gah" threshold.
As to being able to follow lectures, it's an acquired skill (just as giving lectures, believe me) and its not easy.
Anway, the first thing I'd do in your place is to identify all those items, moments of the day, tasks etc. that actually do motivate you, and then to pour some carefully applied extra energy into those. Try not to worry about the rest while doing so. Establish trust in yourself by starting at that end; more will follow.
posted by Namlit at 5:20 AM on November 9, 2010 [1 favorite]
If you're already out of high school or almost there (I dunno, at what point do the kids take the SATs these days since you mention having done that already?) I personally would forget about dithering over whether you "have ADD"; I am not a scientist or a medical professional but the tests and evaluations I've taken myself and seen other people take have not impressed me with their rigor or methodology. The question I'd seek the answer to is "Do my symptoms of distractability and difficulty concentrating improve when I take ADD medication?" - because if they do, why worry about whether or not you "truly" have ADD: you have treatable symptoms.
So I would put the most effort, initially, into trying out the drugs. You should definitely be working with a psychiatric professional on that. The various drugs available appear to be pretty safe - there really are no substantial, detailed long-term scientific studies of the effects of drugs like Adderall (isn't that amazing? like how long has this stuff been around?) but basically generations of children have been sent out as guinea pigs in front of us. (An exception to the safety is if you have existing cardiac problems, I believe, but talk to your psychiatrist and pharmacist about any documented health risks.)
One note is that because most of the drugs are amphetamines - basically clean, slow-release speed in fixed dosages - you may very well like being on them regardless of their practical usefulness. So you really have to watch yourself and all the more reason to be closely monitored by an experienced psychiatrist, to make sure that you're actually getting some relief of your symptoms rather than just enjoying the high. Also, from my own experience, I would say you should continue keeping a close watch on yourself while taking the drug over an eight-month or year-long period to ensure that your usage of it is stable because there can be problems with your tolerance building up.
Once you've got a good idea about whether the drugs seem to make any difference then go ahead and sift through everything with a therapist or something to see whether there are any coping strategies you didn't think of during the last decade while you've been dealing with this that maybe could be as effective as the drugs. (I love the suggestions that basically boil down to "try harder to concentrate" - like, y'know, it just never occurred to me to try that before.) If you've put in a good, say, length of an entire public school education trying to deal with it without drugs you've earned the right to move on to the next step IMHO.
Another interesting anecdote - speaking to the safety of the drugs again, the U.S. military gives amphetamines to pilots to deal with distractability, fatigue, and focus problems on long flights or during long shifts. All within a rigorous and supervised official program, of course. (I do not think that this is restricted to people with diagnosed ADD; any pilot within certain categories under particular service schedules and conditions can voluntarily take the "go pills.")
posted by XMLicious at 5:31 AM on November 9, 2010 [2 favorites]
So I would put the most effort, initially, into trying out the drugs. You should definitely be working with a psychiatric professional on that. The various drugs available appear to be pretty safe - there really are no substantial, detailed long-term scientific studies of the effects of drugs like Adderall (isn't that amazing? like how long has this stuff been around?) but basically generations of children have been sent out as guinea pigs in front of us. (An exception to the safety is if you have existing cardiac problems, I believe, but talk to your psychiatrist and pharmacist about any documented health risks.)
One note is that because most of the drugs are amphetamines - basically clean, slow-release speed in fixed dosages - you may very well like being on them regardless of their practical usefulness. So you really have to watch yourself and all the more reason to be closely monitored by an experienced psychiatrist, to make sure that you're actually getting some relief of your symptoms rather than just enjoying the high. Also, from my own experience, I would say you should continue keeping a close watch on yourself while taking the drug over an eight-month or year-long period to ensure that your usage of it is stable because there can be problems with your tolerance building up.
Once you've got a good idea about whether the drugs seem to make any difference then go ahead and sift through everything with a therapist or something to see whether there are any coping strategies you didn't think of during the last decade while you've been dealing with this that maybe could be as effective as the drugs. (I love the suggestions that basically boil down to "try harder to concentrate" - like, y'know, it just never occurred to me to try that before.) If you've put in a good, say, length of an entire public school education trying to deal with it without drugs you've earned the right to move on to the next step IMHO.
Another interesting anecdote - speaking to the safety of the drugs again, the U.S. military gives amphetamines to pilots to deal with distractability, fatigue, and focus problems on long flights or during long shifts. All within a rigorous and supervised official program, of course. (I do not think that this is restricted to people with diagnosed ADD; any pilot within certain categories under particular service schedules and conditions can voluntarily take the "go pills.")
posted by XMLicious at 5:31 AM on November 9, 2010 [2 favorites]
It could be ADD or something else like a non-verbal learning disability - the lecture thing sounds similar to some issues that I have and that's what I was diagnosed with. You don't have to do the full counselling thing to get through this - seconding Omnomnom's comment about seeking out a coach. I engaged a coach that was an expert in adult learning disabilities and ADD/ADHD, and she assisted me with some behaviour techniques and other things similar to that to help me deal with the worst of my issues. No meds involved, but she could have referred me if required. Many of these types of services, if the person is a learning disabilities specialist or something similar, can mean that the cost of seeing them is covered under a health plan. Alternately, your campus counselling centre may have some ability to support you with this.
Also, like steambadger, it can help to go to someone like a tester or a coach that can help diagnose you as a first step and/or rule out that it's ADD. But finding out from an expert what might be going on with you is important - I also didn't get help until much later (mid-30s, and only after an extremely difficult period at work led me to seek help) and I wish I had known about how my brain works and why while going through university.
posted by Cyrie at 6:46 AM on November 9, 2010
Also, like steambadger, it can help to go to someone like a tester or a coach that can help diagnose you as a first step and/or rule out that it's ADD. But finding out from an expert what might be going on with you is important - I also didn't get help until much later (mid-30s, and only after an extremely difficult period at work led me to seek help) and I wish I had known about how my brain works and why while going through university.
posted by Cyrie at 6:46 AM on November 9, 2010
I don't have experience with ADD and can't say much about it, but just regarding XMLicious' suggestion to try ADD medication and see if it improves your symptoms, I'm not sure about whether you want to do that if you don't have a diagnosis. ADD meds proliferate as study drugs and the students who take ADD meds as study drugs take them because it does help them concentrate and work - but virtually none of them actually have ADD. ADD medication won't only work for you because you have "treatable symptoms." Many of them are under the category of amphetamines, which are psychostimulants that target the activity of neurotransmitters that pretty much have the same effect in all of us (attention, wakefulness, appetite, euphoria, etc.). I have a great memory and great concentration and I work fine, but I am absolutely sure that drugs like Ritalin or Adderall would increase my ability to concentrate to even higher degrees. These drugs will act as drugs and perform their function in nearly everyone. So don't just take them if they help you concentrate when you don't absolutely need them, please. I'm also a student (I'm in college) and when I hear about other students with ADD who sell their medication to their friends or whatever, it really scares me to hear people abusing chemicals and messing with their bodies like that, and you would be doing the same thing by taking these drugs without a diagnosis. As flimsy as that diagnosis might be, it's the main qualifier we have and because of that it's an important one.
Secondly, if you do get checked out for ADD, be honest! It's incredibly easy to fake ADD symptoms (from what I know, most of the diagnosis rests on patient feedback and survey-like evaluations) because the tests are very subjective and based on the patient's personal experience.
posted by hotchocolate at 6:50 AM on November 9, 2010
Secondly, if you do get checked out for ADD, be honest! It's incredibly easy to fake ADD symptoms (from what I know, most of the diagnosis rests on patient feedback and survey-like evaluations) because the tests are very subjective and based on the patient's personal experience.
posted by hotchocolate at 6:50 AM on November 9, 2010
I know you don't want to bring this up, but this:
I know I have other skeletons in the closet, completely unrelated
could have something to do with your feeling stuck and stressed--in ways that you're not even aware of. If you think you'd like to try meds, I would recommend seeing a psychiatrist (instead of your GP). They will ask you a number of questions about your lifestyle and background, but they won't make you share specific details that you're not comfortable addressing. You may find that taking a drug for your ADD symptoms will also help with underlying stress and anxiety.
posted by lucysparrow at 6:53 AM on November 9, 2010 [3 favorites]
I know I have other skeletons in the closet, completely unrelated
could have something to do with your feeling stuck and stressed--in ways that you're not even aware of. If you think you'd like to try meds, I would recommend seeing a psychiatrist (instead of your GP). They will ask you a number of questions about your lifestyle and background, but they won't make you share specific details that you're not comfortable addressing. You may find that taking a drug for your ADD symptoms will also help with underlying stress and anxiety.
posted by lucysparrow at 6:53 AM on November 9, 2010 [3 favorites]
Yes, it does sound like ADD. I had the same patterns that you have (aside from the Neopets addiction, you could be me) and I finally became so fed up with my inability to focus that I talked to my doctor about it at my last checkup. She diagnosed me with ADD and prescribed Adderall, which despite my initial reluctance to take it, has kind of changed my life. Go see your MD and tell him/her everything you've written here - they should be able help.
Feel free to memail me if you have any specific questions.
posted by mewithoutyou at 7:18 AM on November 9, 2010 [1 favorite]
Feel free to memail me if you have any specific questions.
posted by mewithoutyou at 7:18 AM on November 9, 2010 [1 favorite]
You should, eventually, have a specialist diagnose you one way or the other.
If you do have ADD, then you'll need coping mechanisms. Unfortunately, the best way to put it all together is to talk to a therapist. You can inform any therapist that you're not interesting in tackling any topic beyond ADD. Most will try to respect that.
It's possible that you'll need medication to assist the coping mechanisms. But, whatever you do, don't try to get by *only* on medication.
Also, I strongly recommend reading "Driven to Distraction", and "Delivered from Distraction". Excellent books, and they'll give you perspective on whether you might have a case of ADD, and what you can do as far as interventions.
posted by Citrus at 9:59 AM on November 9, 2010
If you do have ADD, then you'll need coping mechanisms. Unfortunately, the best way to put it all together is to talk to a therapist. You can inform any therapist that you're not interesting in tackling any topic beyond ADD. Most will try to respect that.
It's possible that you'll need medication to assist the coping mechanisms. But, whatever you do, don't try to get by *only* on medication.
Also, I strongly recommend reading "Driven to Distraction", and "Delivered from Distraction". Excellent books, and they'll give you perspective on whether you might have a case of ADD, and what you can do as far as interventions.
posted by Citrus at 9:59 AM on November 9, 2010
Man, I feel for you, down to the middle-school Neopets addiction. And I had all of the issues you did during my first try at college. I'm stupidly ADHD, was given meds, offered counseling, disability assistance, etc, and the procrastination and distractibility issues continued and I flunked myself out of school multiple times. But like you, though I had all of these issues in school I did a hell of a lot better when working a "real" job or focusing on volunteering or my training.
I tried LeechBlock and a Palm Pilot and Getting Things Done and using a timer and unplugging the router and getting study buddies and making bets with friends. I used every little tip and trick and tool that came up on LifeHacker. I took Adderall and Ritalin. None of that shit was lasting. I kept looking for that magic pill that would fix my procrastination once and for all.
My issue was that on a very fundamental level I did not want and was not ready to be at college and couldn't admit that to myself. This provided a serious roadblock to my growth for years, because in order to grow I needed to get away from school, but I was so stuck on this idea that I wanted and had to be in school that I couldn't do it despite how chronically I was procrastinating and miserably I was failing. The cognitive dissonance was pretty deep: I simply couldn't draw the connection that if I could get up at 5:30am for work or the gym on a regular basis but couldn't make a noon class then maybe it meant that class wasn't important to me.
There is no program, no counseling, no meds that will fix you if you don't want to be in school. You will continue to fuck yourself up. Someone told me back then that if I wanted to study, I would be studying, not procrastinating. I thought he was an asshole and ignored him.
Right now I'm back taking classes, making a hour daily commute, taking 20 credits and getting straight As while still holding down a part-time job and training at the gym 4-5 days a week. And you know what? That asshole was right. Because when you really are driven to be in school you'll do what's necessary to be in school.
That doesn't just mean turning off the computer or getting study-buddies. It means addressing the skeletons in your closet that might be hampering your progress. It means getting the help you need if you're struggling with depression or anxiety or another mental health issue.
Maybe I'm way off here. Maybe you just haven't found the right Firefox Add-On. But your resistance to counseling combined with your acknowledgement that you probably need it is pretty telling. Note that if you start taking ADHD meds the prescribing psychiatrist will probably include some counseling elements as part of the process, so it's probably not something you can escape anyway. May as well deal with it now.
posted by Anonymous at 10:14 AM on November 9, 2010
I tried LeechBlock and a Palm Pilot and Getting Things Done and using a timer and unplugging the router and getting study buddies and making bets with friends. I used every little tip and trick and tool that came up on LifeHacker. I took Adderall and Ritalin. None of that shit was lasting. I kept looking for that magic pill that would fix my procrastination once and for all.
My issue was that on a very fundamental level I did not want and was not ready to be at college and couldn't admit that to myself. This provided a serious roadblock to my growth for years, because in order to grow I needed to get away from school, but I was so stuck on this idea that I wanted and had to be in school that I couldn't do it despite how chronically I was procrastinating and miserably I was failing. The cognitive dissonance was pretty deep: I simply couldn't draw the connection that if I could get up at 5:30am for work or the gym on a regular basis but couldn't make a noon class then maybe it meant that class wasn't important to me.
There is no program, no counseling, no meds that will fix you if you don't want to be in school. You will continue to fuck yourself up. Someone told me back then that if I wanted to study, I would be studying, not procrastinating. I thought he was an asshole and ignored him.
Right now I'm back taking classes, making a hour daily commute, taking 20 credits and getting straight As while still holding down a part-time job and training at the gym 4-5 days a week. And you know what? That asshole was right. Because when you really are driven to be in school you'll do what's necessary to be in school.
That doesn't just mean turning off the computer or getting study-buddies. It means addressing the skeletons in your closet that might be hampering your progress. It means getting the help you need if you're struggling with depression or anxiety or another mental health issue.
Maybe I'm way off here. Maybe you just haven't found the right Firefox Add-On. But your resistance to counseling combined with your acknowledgement that you probably need it is pretty telling. Note that if you start taking ADHD meds the prescribing psychiatrist will probably include some counseling elements as part of the process, so it's probably not something you can escape anyway. May as well deal with it now.
posted by Anonymous at 10:14 AM on November 9, 2010
From you what you have described and the context of this question is sounds like it could be.
I wasn't diagnosed until I was 29 and having medication has made a big difference in my life.
You don't need to do therapy, but if you do, I'm pretty sure you can go to an ADHD therapist and it will be more of life coaching that "tell me about your mom" therapy.
If any of the suggestions here or otherwise don't work for your focus don't feel bad. None have worked for me. The biggest think you can do for yourself is to accept that your brain is different and let that settle in. Don't let others give you a hard time because of it. People have a tendency to dismiss a person's difference unless they can physically see it. It's not okay to make fun of somebody that has glasses, but it's okay to make fun of you because you let the laundry pile up or the dishes aren't done.
You're not dumb or incapable.
posted by damionbroadaway at 12:30 PM on November 9, 2010 [1 favorite]
I wasn't diagnosed until I was 29 and having medication has made a big difference in my life.
You don't need to do therapy, but if you do, I'm pretty sure you can go to an ADHD therapist and it will be more of life coaching that "tell me about your mom" therapy.
If any of the suggestions here or otherwise don't work for your focus don't feel bad. None have worked for me. The biggest think you can do for yourself is to accept that your brain is different and let that settle in. Don't let others give you a hard time because of it. People have a tendency to dismiss a person's difference unless they can physically see it. It's not okay to make fun of somebody that has glasses, but it's okay to make fun of you because you let the laundry pile up or the dishes aren't done.
You're not dumb or incapable.
posted by damionbroadaway at 12:30 PM on November 9, 2010 [1 favorite]
nth-ing shroedinger's answer above
I get the feeling that you're after a miracle pill (it doesn't have to be Adderall, it could be anything) that will turn you into the person you think you should be.
IANAD (or a psychiatrist) but I'm pretty sure such a pill doesn't exist.
By all means go get yourself assessed for ADD -- it's the doctor's job and not yours (or AskMe) to decide whether or not you have this or some other condition. But until you're ready to tackle this from the inside (read: therapy) you're going to carry on trying to squeeze your square-shaped self into that round-shaped hole that you (from the sounds of it) desperately want to fit into.
Good luck.
posted by davidjohnfox at 12:47 PM on November 9, 2010
I get the feeling that you're after a miracle pill (it doesn't have to be Adderall, it could be anything) that will turn you into the person you think you should be.
IANAD (or a psychiatrist) but I'm pretty sure such a pill doesn't exist.
By all means go get yourself assessed for ADD -- it's the doctor's job and not yours (or AskMe) to decide whether or not you have this or some other condition. But until you're ready to tackle this from the inside (read: therapy) you're going to carry on trying to squeeze your square-shaped self into that round-shaped hole that you (from the sounds of it) desperately want to fit into.
Good luck.
posted by davidjohnfox at 12:47 PM on November 9, 2010
Oh man, I wish I could favorite schroedinger's answer twenty times. I wasn't diagnosed as ADHD until I was about 30 (and I just got a 92 on stoneweaver's test link) and I had hoped that Adderall would be the magic pill.
It was, in some instances. I'm better at paying my bills and cleaning my house and doing chores and my job. But school is still a non starter. And ultimately, it's because I really don't want to go. I love learning. I spend most of my day learning on my own. But structured learning with a curriculum and a syllabus and all that? It's just not going to happen. I've dropped out of college about six times now, most recently last month. I could not find the motivation to do the work for the online class, and I couldn't even be bothered to show up to the one in the classroom. And that's with Adderall.
And it's because I didn't want to be there. I'd love to have a degree. It would make my life a lot easier in some respects. But I am currently incapable of putting in the work to get one. It sucks. But accepting that is better than beating myself up for procrastinating, stressing myself out to do homework at the last minute, and feeling guilty for failing.
posted by elsietheeel at 1:53 PM on November 9, 2010
It was, in some instances. I'm better at paying my bills and cleaning my house and doing chores and my job. But school is still a non starter. And ultimately, it's because I really don't want to go. I love learning. I spend most of my day learning on my own. But structured learning with a curriculum and a syllabus and all that? It's just not going to happen. I've dropped out of college about six times now, most recently last month. I could not find the motivation to do the work for the online class, and I couldn't even be bothered to show up to the one in the classroom. And that's with Adderall.
And it's because I didn't want to be there. I'd love to have a degree. It would make my life a lot easier in some respects. But I am currently incapable of putting in the work to get one. It sucks. But accepting that is better than beating myself up for procrastinating, stressing myself out to do homework at the last minute, and feeling guilty for failing.
posted by elsietheeel at 1:53 PM on November 9, 2010
"suggestion to try ADD medication and see if it improves your symptoms, I'm not sure about whether you want to do that if you don't have a diagnosis" - don't. And be wary of any doctor who suggests trying the meds as a diagnostic tool. A specialist would know that you can't diagnose ADD that way.
I think the diagnosis has to come before any decisions about how much you like your life situation. If you have ADD your entire life experience will be affected by it and your view of things can change dramatically with treatment.
posted by tel3path at 2:48 PM on November 9, 2010
I think the diagnosis has to come before any decisions about how much you like your life situation. If you have ADD your entire life experience will be affected by it and your view of things can change dramatically with treatment.
posted by tel3path at 2:48 PM on November 9, 2010
Basically echoing what others have said already: Yes, you sound like you definitely could have ADD; I have ADD and your symptoms sound pretty similar to mine. Diagnosing ADD is complicated because there's so much variation between individuals, so you really need to see a specialist like a psychologist or psychiatrist. You could probably benefit from some kind of coaching or counseling regardless of whether you have ADD. The important thing there is to find someone you're comfortable working with who will respect the boundaries you set. If you see someone who you don't get along with or who isn't helpful, don't hesitate to go to someone else.
posted by shponglespore at 3:34 PM on November 9, 2010
posted by shponglespore at 3:34 PM on November 9, 2010
This thread is closed to new comments.
posted by telstar at 1:39 AM on November 9, 2010