Bored with Friends, What to Do?

November 1, 2010 12:59 PM

Bored with Friends, What to Do? I've tried coming up new ideas for creative fun but somehow we always end up sticking to the routine (walk and coffee or meals). And we are entering this phase that our conversations have gone a bit less personal, less humorous, somewhat meaningless and flat.

Maybe we are just boring together?! Maybe it's our uncanny similarities making it less exciting? How to un-bore ourselves and get some quality-time out? Not all of my friends and I are bored out of our mind.

Would it be inappropriate to mention how bored we are and joke about it? Or we should just keep being positive and leave the negativity out? Bottom line, I cherish these friends and I intend to keep them no matter what.

Share your story -- Have you and your friends ever been bored with each other? What did you guys do about it?

posted by easilyconfused to human relations (11 answers total)

Play games together.

Card games (Spades is great), Scrabble, Taboo, Settlers of Catan, Pictionary, Password, Balderdash, whatever. Games are fun. Especially if you smack talk.
posted by phunniemee at 1:04 PM on November 1, 2010 [3 favorites]

Take a road trip somewhere new, or somewhere you don't usually go. It doesn't have to be a vacation, just a day trip somewhere away from you usual haunts. Go poke around cool stores/galleries/museums.
posted by usonian at 1:11 PM on November 1, 2010

Seconding the games! Suggest that y'all endeavor to recapture your youth (or extend it, depending on how old you all are) and try to get as many TV shows from your childhood and watch them together. Or play Cranium. I love cranium.

And yeah, I think it's okay to be with a group of people and say, "Guys, I hate to say it... But this is super boring. We need to face-lift our fun time, fast." You're all in it together.
posted by patronuscharms at 1:13 PM on November 1, 2010

Start trying new things as a group, or if you're really bored and they won't come with, go by yourself: cooking classes, yoga class, pottery classes, paint a canvas and drink wine, wine tasting, comedy clubs, art shows, bar trivia, etc. Look for stuff that's going on in your community. You don't have to make a commitment to anything. Just try it once. It's new and gives you and your friends something to talk about.
posted by Fairchild at 1:19 PM on November 1, 2010

Hey gang, I've got a barn¹, let's put on a play²!

¹ Substitute warehouse, apartment, backyard, bed, laptop, sketchpad, etc as needed

² Substitute short or feature film, comedy sketch, podcast, political ad, zine, orgy, comic book, etc as needed
posted by ook at 1:35 PM on November 1, 2010 [2 favorites]

If there's a local paper that lists activities/outings, find it & clip things. Knowing what the more unusual possibilities are ahead of time (rather than having to look up details like location and cost while trying to decide) helps with near-terminal stuck-in-a-rutness.
posted by Ys at 2:10 PM on November 1, 2010

I guess this is maybe a more specific suggestion on the same lines as what ook said, but do you (or any of your friends) play a musical instrument? Some of my friends like to get together and sing, but not just hokey-sing-along (though that can be a lot of fun) - they also get more creative. For example, they'll play a blues riff or some other easy-to-follow chord progression, and everyone who's there takes a turn at improvising a verse in the song, the sillier the better. Of course this does require a certain lack of inhibition (alcohol, anyone?) but it can be awesome if everyone's into it.
posted by SymphonyNumberNine at 2:15 PM on November 1, 2010

It's possible you're reaching the point where hanging with your buds isn't all that any more. That's the point where a lot of people get married and have kids. Kids are many things, but they're never boring.
posted by musofire at 2:27 PM on November 1, 2010 [1 favorite]

Add a challenge: Do an Iron Chef night at each other's houses - one person brings the "surprise ingredient" (along with wine, etc.) while the other one cooks. And chat while you're cooking and laugh!
posted by floweredfish at 2:54 PM on November 1, 2010

Make new friends? Not trying to be snarky. I've had this same situation come up before, and it was mostly that I had developed some interests that my friends didn't share. You change as a person, and so do your social needs, which won't always be met by the same group of people. I started to go to shows and bars with one group of people, and still played board games and had coffee with another group.
posted by shinyshiny at 5:49 PM on November 1, 2010 [2 favorites]

Do something by yourself that will allow you to find more stimulating friends. Do those things you enjoy but can't get others to do. A number of people have the idea that the people they (grew up with/went to school with/married into/ etc) must be your main friends for life. This isn't true or even realistic. So go to events that you like but maybe your current friends ridicule or are dismissive about. Volunteer, teach, go to that one bar (you know the one), take a class, go to a meetup, or form one. Book club. Knitting club. Hacking club. Sports. Religion. Whatever.

And this means you'll see your current friends not quite as often which means you'll have more and new things to talk about.

(On preview: Ditto shinyshiny.)
posted by Ookseer at 9:23 PM on November 1, 2010 [1 favorite]