October 31, 2010 6:18 AM Subscribe
When you feel that you are no longer important to a sister, should you try to forget her?
posted by striving to human relations (33 answers total) 7 users marked this as a favorite
I've always had a close relationship with my younger sister, although most of our adult lives we have lived very far apart and only visit once a year. I've been there for her during the joys and sorrows of her life, spent hours on the phone with her during her divorce and provided her with a place to live until she was on her feet again.
A year ago she met someone who seems very good for her. It is over that year that things changed between her and I. I heard very little from her, but understood that she was quite happy and busy with her new boyfriend, new house, new life. As the year progressed, I went through some very troubling times and wrote my sister about it. She replied with a few sentences or sometimes not at all! I never told her how hurt I was.
In August when I visited (a very expensive and 14 hour flight) she announced that she had taken a 10 day vacation from work. I was very happy about this, thinking that we would spend lots of time together. Instead she dropped her children off at my mother's house and left to "take a nap."
I think it is clear that I have no place in her new life. I am so hurt and angry that I want very much to just try to forget about her, the way that she has forgotten about me. Any advice on how I can handle this anger in a positive way? I'm not sure if mending a relationship with someone as selfish as her is a positive thing..