I'm not sure if I'm invited to a private birthday party. How do I tell?
October 29, 2010 11:57 AM Subscribe
A friend invited me to a private birthday hangout about a month and a half ago, but hasn't brought it up since. I think she may have forgotten, and I'm fine either way - how do I check and see if I'm still invited without making her feel like she has to have me over?
posted by agentmunroe to Human Relations (17 answers total)
So, a potentially awkward social question: about a month and a half ago, a friend invited me over via SMS for her birthday (next Tuesday) to hang out with her + her SO (play video games, drink beer, eat food - usual stuff we do when hanging out). As far as I know, I'm the only person that was invited; I was rather honored she'd ask, and replied yes.
Fast forward to this week - we work in the same office, but not together. Lately she's been mentioning both around-the-office and on Twitter how much she's looking forward to the time alone with SO, how much she's looking forward to the day, etc. - but there are other people around that I'm sure weren't invited, so I don't think she'd mention I was coming over anyway. I haven't really had a chance to tactfully bring it up without anyone else around, and as far as I can recall, she hasn't mentioned it once since asking me - making me wonder if she may have forgotten the invite. (She's not usually very forgetful, but it was a month-and-a-half-ago.) While I'd be mildly bummed if I'm not included, if she just wants to spend the day alone with her boyfriend that's perfectly fine with me - it's her day, we'll have plenty of future opportunities to hang out, and I wouldn't mind using the day to work on other projects. But - if I am invited, I need to make a few preparations over the weekend.
So, the question is: how do I broach the subject without making her feel guilty and/or obligated to have me over due to the earlier invite? Or am I way overthinking this, and since I did get the invite, should I not worry and just ask her privately "what should I bring" when I get a chance?