Convince me it is okay to be 28 and single.
October 24, 2010 8:55 AM Subscribe
How do I give myself permission to be single?
posted by anonymous to Human Relations (22 answers total) 29 users marked this as a favorite
I'm 28, female, in an established career that I love and over all pretty happy. I have great friends, a great apartment, a great cat, and over all a great life. The one missing piece is a relationship, and it is a gap that I am increasingly feeling. A few years ago I was in a serious-ish relationship that was just under a year long and that I ended. Definitely no regrets there. I've done the online dating thing with mixed results, mostly bad though. Regardless, I have also had a pile of other less serious, shorter relationships which were mostly fun but always ended with renewed love of being single. Not this time, though. This time I am impatient and frustrated that, yet again, I haven't found someone I want to be with for any serious amount of time.
Due to a number of circumstances (online dating having been exhausted and generally incredibly lame within my city, only knowing married/committed people who only know other married/committed people (no single friends to hook me up with), working in an office with all married/committed people, all extracurriculars being populated with married/committed people, etc) I won't be crossing paths with my future life partner any time soon and looking is kind of a waste of time for the time being. I know why I'm single, the reasons are more or less beyond my control, and baring any major changes in my life (moving, getting a new job etc) it won't be changing. With that belief/knowledge in hand, how do I be okay with not dating and deciding to be not actively looking? I see everyone else my age as married or in committed relationships, and it makes me feel as though I'm very behind in the game of life, but I also feel like it is okay. or at least that it SHOULD be okay. I don't want to care that I am a late bloomer and that I am going at my own pace. Or maybe I am getting complacent, I'm not sure...
How do I reconcile myself to my delayed relationship development? How do I not compare myself to what seems like everyone else my age? I want to just put it on the back burner, but I can't seem to figure out how. I'll be fine and loving my life and then something will come along to make me feel like an old spinster and kick me in the nuts emotionally.
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