How can I get over my irrationalities about validation?
October 1, 2010 10:23 AM Subscribe
Racial filter: How can I get over my validation issues?
posted by anonymous to Human Relations (13 answers total) 9 users marked this as a favorite
I dated this popular white guy a year ago, in which didn't work out and slammed me into a wall of insecurity. I felt my roots, (Im a latina who grew up in black communities in NJ, going to an all white school which isnt unusual), were part of the problem since he used to poke fun at some "ghetto" quirks, such as the way I speak and certain cultural behaviors he found annoying. I felt so rejected after the breakup, to the point, it got desperate in wanting to attract attention from other white popular males to feel validated. In the process I completely lost myself.
I want to let go of this burden of feeling this way but I don't know where to start. I feel alone. For the record, I love all ethnicities but this one had me rattled. I know I've been trying to go after the unattainable in seeking approval with this certain group all my life and I want to stop, because this is unhealthy. Can you guys offer any advice on how to let go of this situation? Is there anyone who understands wanting to be validated by another racial group? My throwaway email is firstname.lastname@example.org if you need more info. Theres only so much I can say on here without the situation being recognizable, I feel.