Tired of being the (2n-1)th wheel all the time.
September 30, 2010 4:37 PM Subscribe
I live in Philly, and it's increasingly bad for my mental health that I don't have any single friends. Help me fix this.
posted by anonymous to human relations (19 answers total) 10 users marked this as a favorite
My problem: As I get past a breakup, it's increasingly clear that my friends are not enough: Every single one of the people I see regularly is now married, engaged, or very seriously involved. The breakup was hard enough on its own, without their clumsy attempts at sympathy and the fact that when I'm with them, I feel like a huge loser because "everyone" except me is attached. Plus, getting them to do anything on a Friday or Saturday night is basically impossible, so my weekends are more boring than my weekdays. Backwards!
What I need: I need to meet single people. They don't even have to be women I might date - I just need to know some people I can spend time with who I don't feel weird about being single around, who I can socialize with without constantly feeling like the odd-numbered wheel. And who themselves might have some single friends, who I might meet, who might be available - my entire social circle being paired off is not doing great things for my dating life. But it's the "I need to not be unusual because of this" factor I need the most. It's been years since i had to intentionally Meet New People, and I'm totally clueless about how to go about it.
What I don't need: Random unstructured socialization where some people happen to be single. "Try this bar" does me no good; I freeze up without some kind of introductory in. I'm looking more for some kind of structure - clubs, groups, classes, that sort of thing. And I'm ideally looking for specific suggestions.
Who I am: Male, late 20s, probably a good fit for some version of Average Young City-Dwelling Mefite. I like games and geeky things, technological or otherwise. Non-student.
Two key restrictions: Athletics are not an option; I have a minor disability that's generally invisible, but disqualifies anything halfway sporty. Think "has a limp." Also, I'm very non-religious - "a church singles group" is not an option.
Cheap is good, but not mandatory; getting away from a high-maintenance ex has freed up plenty of cash.
Where I am: Center City Philadelphia.
Why this is anon: I don't even think my ex knows my username, but she does know I read mefi, and I have a small-but-real concern about stalking behavior.