Hard from behind
September 28, 2010 11:33 AM Subscribe
Having trouble maintaining erections while standing, kneeling.
I'm in my twenties, hetero, and uncut. I have trouble maintaining erections when I'm in positions on my knees or standing up. Specifically when having sex from behind.
Missionary and girl-on-top don't seem to be an issue, but once I get out of those two I'm only able to maintain for a minute or two. This has been with multiple partners.
I don't know if this will help at all, but I'm also not able to climax from blowjobs, no matter the kind. Deep, shallow, rough, soft. They feel fantastic, but I just can't seem to finish.
I can't decide if this is physical or some weird psychological thing.
Thx
I'm in my twenties, hetero, and uncut. I have trouble maintaining erections when I'm in positions on my knees or standing up. Specifically when having sex from behind.
Missionary and girl-on-top don't seem to be an issue, but once I get out of those two I'm only able to maintain for a minute or two. This has been with multiple partners.
I don't know if this will help at all, but I'm also not able to climax from blowjobs, no matter the kind. Deep, shallow, rough, soft. They feel fantastic, but I just can't seem to finish.
I can't decide if this is physical or some weird psychological thing.
Thx
Since it is only in certain situations, I'd suggest you have a feedback loop happening. You're obviously worried about this happening such that you're asking here. The anxiety of thinking about it happening again can and will cause the very issue that you're worrying about.
posted by Threeway Handshake at 11:37 AM on September 28, 2010
posted by Threeway Handshake at 11:37 AM on September 28, 2010
You might experiment with cock rings (nsfw) if that's something you're comfortable trying.
posted by juliplease at 4:14 PM on September 28, 2010
posted by juliplease at 4:14 PM on September 28, 2010
What's your general level of physical fitness? How strong are you, how long does your general endurance hold out, how much extra insulation are you packing around the middle?
I've found that getting stronger and fitter and not eating as much crap, sugar, and refined white flour as I used to makes the sex better. Upright sex takes more coordination, strength, and effort than just lying there.
If you're not in great shape, the book Convict Conditioning on bodyweight-only strength training has a step-by-step program that starts with the "you just got out of the hospital" level and works up to "beastly fit and agile". No gym, no machines — all you need is a floor, something to hang from for pull-ups (when you're ready), and something the size of a basketball.
If you're fit and exercising regularly and eating well, it may be a psychological thing.
posted by Pirate-Bartender-Zombie-Monkey at 6:41 PM on September 28, 2010 [2 favorites]
I've found that getting stronger and fitter and not eating as much crap, sugar, and refined white flour as I used to makes the sex better. Upright sex takes more coordination, strength, and effort than just lying there.
If you're not in great shape, the book Convict Conditioning on bodyweight-only strength training has a step-by-step program that starts with the "you just got out of the hospital" level and works up to "beastly fit and agile". No gym, no machines — all you need is a floor, something to hang from for pull-ups (when you're ready), and something the size of a basketball.
If you're fit and exercising regularly and eating well, it may be a psychological thing.
posted by Pirate-Bartender-Zombie-Monkey at 6:41 PM on September 28, 2010 [2 favorites]
I can't answer your question about it being mental or physical, but I will note that many men are uncircumcised and/or don't come from oral sex, without necessarily having issues with doggy style sex. In other words, whatever is causing your issue, it is very, very unlikely to be those things.
It's easy to psych yourself into stressing about sexual things, and that stress turns into performance problems really easy. The work arounds are cliches -- time, patience, experimentation, a sense of humor, and not being afraid to get help. Often a glass of wine (or, people say, a bit of weed) can help relax a little; equally, most doctors are very willing to give out free samples of Viagra and other ED drugs because they can help a guy over a confidence problem.
And what PBZM says about being in shape is so, so true.
posted by Forktine at 7:09 PM on September 28, 2010
It's easy to psych yourself into stressing about sexual things, and that stress turns into performance problems really easy. The work arounds are cliches -- time, patience, experimentation, a sense of humor, and not being afraid to get help. Often a glass of wine (or, people say, a bit of weed) can help relax a little; equally, most doctors are very willing to give out free samples of Viagra and other ED drugs because they can help a guy over a confidence problem.
And what PBZM says about being in shape is so, so true.
posted by Forktine at 7:09 PM on September 28, 2010
Is this new? Or have you never been able to do this? If it's new, I'd suggest getting your vitals checked, esp. blood pressure. And get a diabetes test. It's probably nothing, but both those two problems can cause erectile issues.
posted by pippin at 7:48 PM on September 28, 2010
posted by pippin at 7:48 PM on September 28, 2010
This thread is closed to new comments.
posted by NoraReed at 11:34 AM on September 28, 2010 [1 favorite]