Too fat to f@#&?
September 27, 2010 11:14 AM Subscribe
Is it my weight, or my being self conscious about my weight, that is making me unsuccessful picking up women?
posted by anonymous to human relations (38 answers total) 4 users marked this as a favorite
I’m a guy in his early 30s, and I’m about 130 lbs overweight. I’ve fought it my whole life, and it’s something I’m very self-conscious about at times. Other than the weight I’m fairly normal-looking, no exaggerated features that make me specifically unattractive, and I present myself well.
However my luck with women has never been especially good. I’ve had a few girlfriends in my life, etc. but not nearly as many as my friends. My life is mostly spent single, with brief periods of relationships.
But I go out with my single guy friends pretty regularly to bars, clubs, etc. and it seems they all have far more luck meeting and “hooking up” with women than I do.
Because I’m self-conscious about my weight I have assumed that is the reason, that girls (with the exception of some “chubby chasers”) don’t like fat guys…but I’m trying to figure out if that’s for sure the case, or if it’s my IMPRESSION that girls don’t like fat guys is causing me to self-sabotage in some way…
Normally I try to make eye contact with women I’m interested in, share a smile, and if all goes well, I approach and try to make conversation. Also when dancing (with female friends, also there to meet guys) I will sometimes try to find some of those women dancing alone to dance with, to meet on the dance floor…but I’m not a tremendous dancer as I’m not light on my feet.
So it’s a bit of a loaded question, but ladies, how do you feel about heavy guys; heavy guys, how has your luck been with women; and overall, am I just doing something wrong?
(and yes, to beat it to the punch, I know that the ultimate solution is to lose the weight thus feeling more confident AND looking better, and I am working on that, I just started seeing a nutritionist and a personal trainer, but that’s a long term solution and I’m hoping for more short-term success WHILE I work on the long term solution.
And to beat THIS to the punch, I know there are other ways to meet women, online, church, etc. but this question is specifically trying to determine my friends’ successes versus my lack thereof under identical circumstances)