My life is now very like the movie "knocked up". Help!
September 23, 2010 1:07 PM Subscribe
My ex, 30+ years of age, contacted me a few days ago to tell me I'd gotten her knocked up. Yesterday she said she wanted to keep it. She lives in NYC, where I lived until three days ago. I'm now in the UK. I can afford to jump on a plane back to NYC. So, who do I need to contact to get legal advice? How do I find out what my rights and responsibilities are? Two less delicate questions inside...
posted by omnigut to human relations (86 answers total) 13 users marked this as a favorite
Please excuse the following backstory:
I don't want a kid, at all. Many reasons, but also that I'm irresponsible, and young (27). Bad genes: I've got epilepsy, as do members on both sides of my family, and we also have parkinson's and autism in the mix.
The girl is just not a good person, in many, many ways. This is not sour grapes. It was very clear that this was a sex-only relationship, with no prospects. There is no way that I will be able to stand being around her for an extended amount of time (this is not a love story). There is a good chance that it will upset me to see someone like her bringing up my kid.
I don't know her parents' details and she doesn't have any good friends. She doesn't need my money (not that that would be a problem for me). She also gets very riled by any form of disagreement (she's so pretty that few people say "no" to her). So I have to be careful. She thinks it has been (at most) 6 weeks since I got her pregnant, but probably under 4.
Finally, I can't imagine bringing up a kid in the USA, and do not want to live there forever, or even for years. I am a dual UK/USA citizen, and fall on the side of healthcare, education and a slightly smaller culture of consumerism.
So here're the less delicate questions:
How do I go about trying to convince her not to go through with it?
How would you play this, if you were me?
Hypothetically speaking, if she's lying about this (there are a couple of reasons to believe this), how do I make her give me her doctor's info so I can be convinced of this blood test?