Pays great, less fufilling. When do you stay for the money or leave for the hapiness?
September 15, 2010 9:42 AM Subscribe
Pays great but less fufilling. Do your duty for the family or save yourself the aggravation and move on?
I've been with my company for a while now. It pays great. The benefits rocks. And I get a pension soon. I love the duties of my job but it's been years of problems---lack of strategy, communication, process, etc. I've rolled with the punches. In the beginning I was charged up and gave proposal after proposal. Some went through, some didn't. I've received stellar reviews.
But recently I can't hack the aggravation. I'm going nowhere. Training is minimal. They can't determine a strategy. I've offered to help/given proposals and data, it goes nowhere. Most recently, other people have been doing strategy (aka my job) yet they tell me that all is well with my position. I've even asked for a promotion via an open management position. They told me they would tell me when it was posted. They didn't (I stumbled upon it). They had me write my duties about the same time they posted this position (meaning I essentially wrote the position requirements). And I'm really hurt/upset by the passive aggressiveness lately.
The problem is I am the sole income earner/stable provider. Our child has a chronic issue where we need premier health insurance (and people to understand when I take off, etc. which they do). I get telecommuting options. I'm worried that no one else will match this salary.
So with all of that, I feel incredibly guilty about wanting to leave but I feel totally useless, undervalued, underutilized, and a fool when I get there. I feel a constant slap in the face without anyone coming up to me and just telling me straight out "you suck" or "you will never move up here" or at least tell me "you won't move up because you need to do XYZ".
Their habit is to hire from outside or work on one younger person whose sole goal is to get some extra experience and then leave the company. I wanted to stay, I've told them I loved my job over and over, I have a reason to stay (my child and they know this) but they won't invest time in me or people in a similar situation. We have high turnover.
So do I do the old fashioned thinking and just shut up and take it because talking does no good and I get paid well/good benefits and hey, it's all about the family, or should I venture elsewhere and hope for the best? And if I stay, how do I rev up my reinterest, go ganbusters all out and show them how wonderful I am (again). Admittingly I've been really depressed with the job and haven't shown full effort but my god, the place wears on you (thus the high turnover)
I've been with my company for a while now. It pays great. The benefits rocks. And I get a pension soon. I love the duties of my job but it's been years of problems---lack of strategy, communication, process, etc. I've rolled with the punches. In the beginning I was charged up and gave proposal after proposal. Some went through, some didn't. I've received stellar reviews.
But recently I can't hack the aggravation. I'm going nowhere. Training is minimal. They can't determine a strategy. I've offered to help/given proposals and data, it goes nowhere. Most recently, other people have been doing strategy (aka my job) yet they tell me that all is well with my position. I've even asked for a promotion via an open management position. They told me they would tell me when it was posted. They didn't (I stumbled upon it). They had me write my duties about the same time they posted this position (meaning I essentially wrote the position requirements). And I'm really hurt/upset by the passive aggressiveness lately.
The problem is I am the sole income earner/stable provider. Our child has a chronic issue where we need premier health insurance (and people to understand when I take off, etc. which they do). I get telecommuting options. I'm worried that no one else will match this salary.
So with all of that, I feel incredibly guilty about wanting to leave but I feel totally useless, undervalued, underutilized, and a fool when I get there. I feel a constant slap in the face without anyone coming up to me and just telling me straight out "you suck" or "you will never move up here" or at least tell me "you won't move up because you need to do XYZ".
Their habit is to hire from outside or work on one younger person whose sole goal is to get some extra experience and then leave the company. I wanted to stay, I've told them I loved my job over and over, I have a reason to stay (my child and they know this) but they won't invest time in me or people in a similar situation. We have high turnover.
So do I do the old fashioned thinking and just shut up and take it because talking does no good and I get paid well/good benefits and hey, it's all about the family, or should I venture elsewhere and hope for the best? And if I stay, how do I rev up my reinterest, go ganbusters all out and show them how wonderful I am (again). Admittingly I've been really depressed with the job and haven't shown full effort but my god, the place wears on you (thus the high turnover)
This post was deleted for the following reason: please contact us. -- jessamyn
Response by poster: Yes Claudia, I am extremely burned out. I thoguht about a sabbatical but I am the only person who works in this particular area. I have backups but no one knows the thing like the back of their hand like I do (probably why I'm burned out. :))
I was told to learn SEO. I sent samples of training. They said no due to budget restrictions. So I would have to pony up the $ if I wanted advanced training.
But yes, something needs to give.
posted by stormpooper at 9:52 AM on September 15, 2010
I was told to learn SEO. I sent samples of training. They said no due to budget restrictions. So I would have to pony up the $ if I wanted advanced training.
But yes, something needs to give.
posted by stormpooper at 9:52 AM on September 15, 2010
For me the most significant part of your explanation is "And I get a pension soon." So whatever problems you have with this job are short-term problems. Soon you will be able to leave them behind. Under the circumstances, I would suggest that you just put up with the problems and try to finish out the job with as little turbulence as possible. If your abilities are not fully utilized, your suggestions not taken seriously, your work is not very productive, don't worry about it, it will soon be over.
posted by grizzled at 9:54 AM on September 15, 2010 [2 favorites]
posted by grizzled at 9:54 AM on September 15, 2010 [2 favorites]
Response by poster: To clarify, by pension, I mean vested. I'm far from ready to retire :) (although it would be grand right now)
posted by stormpooper at 9:57 AM on September 15, 2010
posted by stormpooper at 9:57 AM on September 15, 2010
Response by poster: Jamaro--2 therapists. Marriage and personal. Makes me feel like a bigger loser to see TWO of them. Maybe time on meds to deaden the stress impact. Not sure what to do anymore.
So yes, it's been actaully 2 years of 24 hour stress and I really don't know how to handle it and yes, the fact that I need the premier benefits even for myself, makes me think yes, I need to STFU about boo hoo job satisfaction.
It's better than the alternative. I just can't hack any of this anymore and for me, work always provided some sort of 8 hour sanity/happiness (yes my son does but I'm saying some "me" time happiness).
posted by stormpooper at 10:00 AM on September 15, 2010
So yes, it's been actaully 2 years of 24 hour stress and I really don't know how to handle it and yes, the fact that I need the premier benefits even for myself, makes me think yes, I need to STFU about boo hoo job satisfaction.
It's better than the alternative. I just can't hack any of this anymore and for me, work always provided some sort of 8 hour sanity/happiness (yes my son does but I'm saying some "me" time happiness).
posted by stormpooper at 10:00 AM on September 15, 2010
It pays great. The benefits rocks. And I get a pension soon. I love the duties of my job
Listen, I know what is like to work the soul sucking job from hell, I really do, but this is not that. You didn't mention anything about people being mean, or nasty - they just ignore you, which is also bad, I get it, but I can work anywhere as long as no one is a dick. I've come to realize this, after years and years, that all I care about is that no one be a jerk constantly.
If I was working somewhere where I had a pension coming to me, I would just accept it as The Place I Go That Allows Me To Do Good Things. I am doing that now. I'm not saying that I've achieved nirvana or anything, but they're not mean, so I can deal with anything else.
My advice, honestly, is to stop fighting it. Do your work. Do it well. Step up when you believe it calls for it. But you know they're not going to change so take a deep breath and find a way to just do what you do as well as you can do it.
Funnily enough, when you do that, you may also find that they come to YOU with things. I'm not kidding. I gave up at a job once, started coming in at 8:59, leaving at 5:01, doing what I did as well as I could do it, and stopped going into my manager's office with new things I could do. I swear, two weeks later she was at my desk asking me if I'd help her with a new project. I guarantee you if I'd asked to do it she wouldn't have given it to me. Just something to think about.
posted by micawber at 10:02 AM on September 15, 2010
Listen, I know what is like to work the soul sucking job from hell, I really do, but this is not that. You didn't mention anything about people being mean, or nasty - they just ignore you, which is also bad, I get it, but I can work anywhere as long as no one is a dick. I've come to realize this, after years and years, that all I care about is that no one be a jerk constantly.
If I was working somewhere where I had a pension coming to me, I would just accept it as The Place I Go That Allows Me To Do Good Things. I am doing that now. I'm not saying that I've achieved nirvana or anything, but they're not mean, so I can deal with anything else.
My advice, honestly, is to stop fighting it. Do your work. Do it well. Step up when you believe it calls for it. But you know they're not going to change so take a deep breath and find a way to just do what you do as well as you can do it.
Funnily enough, when you do that, you may also find that they come to YOU with things. I'm not kidding. I gave up at a job once, started coming in at 8:59, leaving at 5:01, doing what I did as well as I could do it, and stopped going into my manager's office with new things I could do. I swear, two weeks later she was at my desk asking me if I'd help her with a new project. I guarantee you if I'd asked to do it she wouldn't have given it to me. Just something to think about.
posted by micawber at 10:02 AM on September 15, 2010
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And/or -- is there something new, anything new, you could take on at work? Something where you're learning something new, or exercising some new or not-recently-visited part of your brain/skills.
It doesn't sound like DTMFA territory, but rather, you're burned out and need something to interest you again, or at least some time off to relax and replenish your energy.
posted by ClaudiaCenter at 9:48 AM on September 15, 2010