Helping someone survive a break-up
September 14, 2010 7:27 PM Subscribe
Need book or other recommendations for dealing with unexpected break-up of a long-term relationship.
My brother-in-law is on the other side of the country from the rest of the family and his live-in girlfriend of 14 years has left him. He's taking it pretty hard and I'd like to help but I don't know how. Are there any decent self-help books out there related to dealing with the sudden ending of a long-term relationship? He hasn't developed much of a support system where he is and can't afford to move back to where the rest of the family is. Any recs or advice would be greatly appreciated. He is seeing a counselor but from what I can tell they aren't terribly competent. Also a doctor prescribed him anti-anxiety meds and sleeping pills but he's not taking them for fear of becoming hooked.
My brother-in-law is on the other side of the country from the rest of the family and his live-in girlfriend of 14 years has left him. He's taking it pretty hard and I'd like to help but I don't know how. Are there any decent self-help books out there related to dealing with the sudden ending of a long-term relationship? He hasn't developed much of a support system where he is and can't afford to move back to where the rest of the family is. Any recs or advice would be greatly appreciated. He is seeing a counselor but from what I can tell they aren't terribly competent. Also a doctor prescribed him anti-anxiety meds and sleeping pills but he's not taking them for fear of becoming hooked.
I agree with Pema Chodron, and always recommend How to Survive the Loss of a Love.
posted by peanut_mcgillicuty at 8:21 PM on September 14, 2010 [1 favorite]
posted by peanut_mcgillicuty at 8:21 PM on September 14, 2010 [1 favorite]
Seconding How to Survive the Loss of a Love (although it's hokey, but sometimes you need that). Adding A Grief Observed by C.S. Lewis.
posted by mediocritease at 8:47 PM on September 14, 2010
posted by mediocritease at 8:47 PM on September 14, 2010
I should add a disclaimer - it's largely to do with loss/restrengthening of faith, but it was motivated by his wife's death is really pretty powerful. You could find something in there that means something to you, god or no.
posted by mediocritease at 8:50 PM on September 14, 2010
posted by mediocritease at 8:50 PM on September 14, 2010
I feel for your brother-in-law. I think Rebuilding is an amazing book. It helped me with the end of my 20-year marriage.
I wish him all the best.
posted by magnoliasouth at 9:02 PM on September 14, 2010
I wish him all the best.
posted by magnoliasouth at 9:02 PM on September 14, 2010
I just wrote this in another thread, but I'll put it in here as well.
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I found this book to be extremely useful in getting over a significant breakup, it was also recommended to me by a friend who used it to get through her divorce:
Mars and Venus Starting Over: A Practical Guide for Finding Love Again After a Painful Breakup, Divorce, or the Loss of a Loved One
There are some good exercises in here, and some very solid, very empathetic advice.
posted by so much modern time at 1:28 AM on September 15, 2010
--
I found this book to be extremely useful in getting over a significant breakup, it was also recommended to me by a friend who used it to get through her divorce:
Mars and Venus Starting Over: A Practical Guide for Finding Love Again After a Painful Breakup, Divorce, or the Loss of a Loved One
There are some good exercises in here, and some very solid, very empathetic advice.
posted by so much modern time at 1:28 AM on September 15, 2010
This thread is closed to new comments.
not geared specifically toward breakups per se, but amazing material for crisis in general. beautiful and accessible buddhist perspective.
posted by lakersfan1222 at 7:42 PM on September 14, 2010 [2 favorites]