Are my extroverted days over?
September 9, 2010 1:12 PM Subscribe
Help me understand why I would rather watch re-runs of The Cosby Show & Roseanne rather than hang out with anyone.
posted by KogeLiz to Human Relations (20 answers total) 12 users marked this as a favorite
I realize I am the type of person (friend) that a lot of people complain about here on AskMeFi.
I'm a horrible friend.
So, lemme explain...
Until I was treated for severe social anxiety when I was 19, I basically sat behind a computer and ate Little Debbie snacks by the box.
After starting medication, I became social. I started dating, going to bars and clubs - lots of parties. Made a lot of good friends (mostly through a local online community full of weirdos). Sometimes I was out 4-5 times a week. I should mention that I was working second shift - so it was a bit easier to go out all the time at night after work.
Then, when I was 26, I decided to move from Florida and back to the state where I grew up. All my old friends that I grew up with were kind of social but not in the same way - none of them smoked, they were all in relationships, they all had a lot of other friends, etc.
They liked to go out for sushi and talk about dogs. Not my style.
Anyway, I then basically became a hermit again. I wasn't actually afraid of social situations - I just didn't want to deal with them.
Friends would call and ask to hang out - but I really didn't feel like it. I was fine sitting in my room having IM conversations until 4am.
The only time I was social was when I went on dates or was in a relationship. Oh, and having drinks with co-workers after work about once or twice a month.
It really became this horrible thing - because there were times when I didn't want to go to the bathroom because I didn't want to have to strike up a conversation with roommates that were in the living room.
I also ended up ending a few old friendships because they were too demanding and the friends complained so much about me not wanting to do anything.
I'm now 30 and I live with my boyfriend in a new state - and I have no desire to really make any new friends. I keep in touch with my Florida friends and my home-state friends via social networking and sometimes texting.
But this doesn't jive well with my boyfriend. He still likes to go out and party until 5am - and I just want to go home and watch re-runs of Roseanne.
Also, sometimes I miss the old times - but they seem like they're long gone. But when I visit my family back in Florida, I hang out with my ole "party" friends and always have a good time.
Is this just apart of getting old?
Am I really introverted - or am I in a 5 year non-social rut?
Am I just lame and tired because I work 1st shift?
Do I just need to try and find compatible friends? I should mention that it's harder to find compatible people in the state I live in now. The majority of the people I've met are super Christians (and love to talk about it) and have lots of babies.
I do suffer from depression and I have narcolepsy.
But I had (untreated) narcolepsy when I went through my 5 years of socializing as well. So, I don't want to blame my narcolepsy on indifference and lack of interest.
Also, I USUALLY don't really feel depressed about all of this - I feel content. But I'm constantly trying to figure what happened.