Is it time yet?
September 8, 2010 8:21 AM Subscribe
I am late for everything - dentist appointments, work, lunch. Not by much - about 10, 20 minutes at the most. I want to be on time, or even early! What are your tips and tricks for being punctual?
Best answer: You have to care about the being on time more than you want to procrastinate about getting started.
posted by SLC Mom at 8:27 AM on September 8, 2010 [8 favorites]
posted by SLC Mom at 8:27 AM on September 8, 2010 [8 favorites]
You could try setting your watch and car clock to run a little bit faster.
posted by Funky Claude at 8:27 AM on September 8, 2010 [1 favorite]
posted by Funky Claude at 8:27 AM on September 8, 2010 [1 favorite]
Taking public transit. If I know that one train or bus will ensure I'm om time, and the next one ensures I'm late, I make sure I get to the right one. When I used to drive, I could procrastinate.
posted by oneirodynia at 8:28 AM on September 8, 2010 [1 favorite]
posted by oneirodynia at 8:28 AM on September 8, 2010 [1 favorite]
Leave fifteen (or twenty) minutes earlier than you think you need to. That's the only thing that prevents me from being late all the time.
posted by saveyoursanity at 8:29 AM on September 8, 2010
posted by saveyoursanity at 8:29 AM on September 8, 2010
Best answer: Carrying around with you the book you're currently reading helps, in that sometimes lateness is caused by fear of arriving early and having to endure a wait with nothing to do. If you have a book with you, you have a pleasant way of spending time and can lose the fear of being early.
posted by Paquda at 8:31 AM on September 8, 2010 [4 favorites]
posted by Paquda at 8:31 AM on September 8, 2010 [4 favorites]
Best answer: If you're like a lot of people, your estimates for how long things take are off (I guess by 10 or 20 minutes). It's really pretty simple. Whatever time you think you need to leave, leave 20 minutes earlier than that.
posted by RustyBrooks at 8:32 AM on September 8, 2010 [6 favorites]
posted by RustyBrooks at 8:32 AM on September 8, 2010 [6 favorites]
Yeah - the real trick is just leaving way earlier than you think you need to. Assume everything that could go wrong, will and plan accordingly. I'm 10-20 minutes EARLY to everything (which is an extreme the other way), but I do it by leaving myself more than ample time to prepare for contingencies.
posted by Laura Macbeth at 8:34 AM on September 8, 2010 [2 favorites]
posted by Laura Macbeth at 8:34 AM on September 8, 2010 [2 favorites]
20 minutes is by much.
What's causing you to be late? Are you wasting time searching for your keys, purse, etc.?
Have that stuff ready to go and near the door. Tear yourself away from the computer screen well before you need to leave the house.
The usual trick of setting your clocks/watch several minutes fast doesn't work, of course. Your best best is to set them to the exact time.
This advice comes from a Type "A" who, as a kid, had my bus fare in hand, mittens and coat on, waiting for the bus in the house, 15 minutes ahead of time.
posted by BostonTerrier at 8:37 AM on September 8, 2010 [2 favorites]
What's causing you to be late? Are you wasting time searching for your keys, purse, etc.?
Have that stuff ready to go and near the door. Tear yourself away from the computer screen well before you need to leave the house.
The usual trick of setting your clocks/watch several minutes fast doesn't work, of course. Your best best is to set them to the exact time.
This advice comes from a Type "A" who, as a kid, had my bus fare in hand, mittens and coat on, waiting for the bus in the house, 15 minutes ahead of time.
posted by BostonTerrier at 8:37 AM on September 8, 2010 [2 favorites]
I don't know how much this is just the way my own mind works, but the one thing that works best for me is to pay attention to a particular thought process I tend towards. It goes like this:
I have to be at the doctor's office in half an hour. It takes me twenty minutes to get there. Other things I need to do today are: do the dishes, call the pediatrician, answer some emails, go grocery shopping, and finish editing a short story. Hmm, I can probably slot the dishes into that ten minutes before I have to leave.
The result is always that I leave five minutes later than I intended to. And sometimes the trip takes longer than I expect (try as I might, I always seem to use best-case estimates for travel time). The solution has been to consciously monitor that thought pattern and, whenever I find myself wondering "Do I have time to do thing X before I go?", instantly answering "no, probably not" and putting my shoes on (this step may vary if you come from one of those barbaric cultures where they wear shoes indoors).
posted by 256 at 8:38 AM on September 8, 2010 [3 favorites]
I have to be at the doctor's office in half an hour. It takes me twenty minutes to get there. Other things I need to do today are: do the dishes, call the pediatrician, answer some emails, go grocery shopping, and finish editing a short story. Hmm, I can probably slot the dishes into that ten minutes before I have to leave.
The result is always that I leave five minutes later than I intended to. And sometimes the trip takes longer than I expect (try as I might, I always seem to use best-case estimates for travel time). The solution has been to consciously monitor that thought pattern and, whenever I find myself wondering "Do I have time to do thing X before I go?", instantly answering "no, probably not" and putting my shoes on (this step may vary if you come from one of those barbaric cultures where they wear shoes indoors).
posted by 256 at 8:38 AM on September 8, 2010 [3 favorites]
This is impossible to answer without knowing why you're often late. Do you sleep in? Do you think "oh, I'll just check Facebook real quick on my way out the door"? Do you lose track of time? Are you an unnecessarily cautious driver? Does it take ages to get your kids' shoes on?
There are no universally applicable "tips and tricks" to punctuality. "Life hacks" are a myth. Figure out why you're late. That's the problem. Address that in a way that will work for you.
All of that said, I have raging ADHD, and I swear by the "five minute warning" alarms I set on my iPhone.
posted by Zozo at 8:38 AM on September 8, 2010
There are no universally applicable "tips and tricks" to punctuality. "Life hacks" are a myth. Figure out why you're late. That's the problem. Address that in a way that will work for you.
All of that said, I have raging ADHD, and I swear by the "five minute warning" alarms I set on my iPhone.
posted by Zozo at 8:38 AM on September 8, 2010
Put your watch forward. It's a great strategy.
And also: don't kid yourself on travel times or how long it takes to do things. Have a soft cut off point - the desirable time to leave and a hard cut off point - the time at which no matter what happens you will be late. Aim for the former. Do not kid yourself about what happens if you ignore the latter.
And know that turning up late for things is a powerplay - it's a sign of disrespect. Whether you consciously think that or not, you're basically telling whoever you're meeting that you think your time is more valuable than theirs. I tell you this not because I want to criticise you, but so you know how it affects others' perceptions of you.
posted by MuffinMan at 8:38 AM on September 8, 2010 [5 favorites]
And also: don't kid yourself on travel times or how long it takes to do things. Have a soft cut off point - the desirable time to leave and a hard cut off point - the time at which no matter what happens you will be late. Aim for the former. Do not kid yourself about what happens if you ignore the latter.
And know that turning up late for things is a powerplay - it's a sign of disrespect. Whether you consciously think that or not, you're basically telling whoever you're meeting that you think your time is more valuable than theirs. I tell you this not because I want to criticise you, but so you know how it affects others' perceptions of you.
posted by MuffinMan at 8:38 AM on September 8, 2010 [5 favorites]
Twenty minutes is a lot late for lunches! It's a third of most people's lunch hour. It's also a lot for work. The trick is to make sure that being on time is more important to you than whatever else it is that you're doing. Set your clocks ahead, give yourself 30 more minutes to do things than you think you need, even if it seems ridiculous. Nothing says "I have no respect for you" than being late every time.
posted by proj at 8:39 AM on September 8, 2010 [4 favorites]
posted by proj at 8:39 AM on September 8, 2010 [4 favorites]
You could try setting your watch and car clock to run a little bit faster.
That works once, and then you get used to it.
I think a lot of people, when they estimate travel time to places, they only estimate the actual time driving without traffic, the way Google Maps might estimate the time. They don't take into account the time it takes to: get your coat and shoes on, find your keys, get into your car, start your car, back out of the driveway, catch three red lights, wait for a school bus to move out of the way, find a parking spot, get all their crap from the car, lock the car, walk to the building, take the elevator, etc. All this stuff adds up.
I'll never forget one time how mad I got at a friend when he refused to leave for a concert sooner than ten minutes before it started because "The Orphium theater is only ten minutes from Somerville." Yeah, we were an hour late.
No matter what you do or where you go, tack on an extra ten or twenty minutes to do all the stuff that goes along with getting there. If you have a small child, add on another 30 minutes. Bring a book for the times when you're early.
posted by bondcliff at 8:39 AM on September 8, 2010 [1 favorite]
That works once, and then you get used to it.
I think a lot of people, when they estimate travel time to places, they only estimate the actual time driving without traffic, the way Google Maps might estimate the time. They don't take into account the time it takes to: get your coat and shoes on, find your keys, get into your car, start your car, back out of the driveway, catch three red lights, wait for a school bus to move out of the way, find a parking spot, get all their crap from the car, lock the car, walk to the building, take the elevator, etc. All this stuff adds up.
I'll never forget one time how mad I got at a friend when he refused to leave for a concert sooner than ten minutes before it started because "The Orphium theater is only ten minutes from Somerville." Yeah, we were an hour late.
No matter what you do or where you go, tack on an extra ten or twenty minutes to do all the stuff that goes along with getting there. If you have a small child, add on another 30 minutes. Bring a book for the times when you're early.
posted by bondcliff at 8:39 AM on September 8, 2010 [1 favorite]
Best answer: I found these two threads really helpful:
How did you overcome a lifetime of chronic lateness
Why are some people chronically late (because it helped me to see how much being late annoyed other people)
What helped me personally: planning ahead and trying to leave ridiculously early. Every night, I lay out everything I will need for the next morning. I know I'm not a morning person, so I will pack up my purse or backpack and lay out an entire outfit, down to the accessories. I put the clothes in the bathroom underneath a towel and washcloth so that all I need to do in the morning is wake up, roll out of bed and into the shower, and my clothes will be waiting there for me when I get out. I pack my lunch the night before. If I know I will be outside the next day, I'll put gym clothes in my car. I am really bad at not eating breakfast, so I even lay out what I'll be having for breakfast in the morning- a granola bar on the counter, an egg or two in a bowl in the fridge.
Excessive? Probably. But all of this, coupled with getting up an hour or so before I need to leave anywhere in the morning, has made me consistently on time in the morning. As for the rest of the day, I plan to get to my destination at least a half hour early. Instead of staying home and doing homework or reading or whatever else I would be doing, I just take it to wherever I'm going. If I'm supposed to meet a friend for coffee at 2, instead of doing homework until 1:30 and leaving I will leave at 1 and work on homework at the coffee shop. It's just a lot of planning ahead- a paper planner is infinitely helpful in this for me, but ymmv.
posted by kro at 8:40 AM on September 8, 2010 [5 favorites]
How did you overcome a lifetime of chronic lateness
Why are some people chronically late (because it helped me to see how much being late annoyed other people)
What helped me personally: planning ahead and trying to leave ridiculously early. Every night, I lay out everything I will need for the next morning. I know I'm not a morning person, so I will pack up my purse or backpack and lay out an entire outfit, down to the accessories. I put the clothes in the bathroom underneath a towel and washcloth so that all I need to do in the morning is wake up, roll out of bed and into the shower, and my clothes will be waiting there for me when I get out. I pack my lunch the night before. If I know I will be outside the next day, I'll put gym clothes in my car. I am really bad at not eating breakfast, so I even lay out what I'll be having for breakfast in the morning- a granola bar on the counter, an egg or two in a bowl in the fridge.
Excessive? Probably. But all of this, coupled with getting up an hour or so before I need to leave anywhere in the morning, has made me consistently on time in the morning. As for the rest of the day, I plan to get to my destination at least a half hour early. Instead of staying home and doing homework or reading or whatever else I would be doing, I just take it to wherever I'm going. If I'm supposed to meet a friend for coffee at 2, instead of doing homework until 1:30 and leaving I will leave at 1 and work on homework at the coffee shop. It's just a lot of planning ahead- a paper planner is infinitely helpful in this for me, but ymmv.
posted by kro at 8:40 AM on September 8, 2010 [5 favorites]
I don't know if this is part of it, but you might try thinking about how the other person feels. If you are 5 minutes late meeting me for lunch, I am mad at you. I maybe won't let you know, because I know it's only 5 minutes, but that's 5 minutes that you decided it was ok for you to be doing something else instead of meeting me, and you've taken away 5 minutes that I could have been doing something else. It's inconsiderate and rude. If you're 20 minutes late for a doctor's appointment, and I have an appointment at the same doctor 2 hours later, you've probably helped make my appointment happen later than it should have. I will have to wait, be late going back to wherever I was going, because of your actions. Not to mention you've made the doctor into the sort of doctor that people think runs late, which is bad for the doctor.
I say this only because I have friends for whom it's never even occurred to them that being late could bother anyone. Some people are very organized with their time, and 5 minutes is... 5 minutes. It's not zero minutes, and there's a big difference between 0 and anything bigger for me. So consider other people when you are going places, and not just yourself.
posted by brainmouse at 8:45 AM on September 8, 2010 [8 favorites]
I say this only because I have friends for whom it's never even occurred to them that being late could bother anyone. Some people are very organized with their time, and 5 minutes is... 5 minutes. It's not zero minutes, and there's a big difference between 0 and anything bigger for me. So consider other people when you are going places, and not just yourself.
posted by brainmouse at 8:45 AM on September 8, 2010 [8 favorites]
And know that turning up late for things is a powerplay - it's a sign of disrespect. Whether you consciously think that or not, you're basically telling whoever you're meeting that you think your time is more valuable than theirs. I tell you this not because I want to criticise you, but so you know how it affects others' perceptions of you.
I'd like to emphasize this. It's almost certainly not something you're doing on purpose (though some people do), but punctual people (like me) will often feel disrespected by and pissed off at people who consistently run late. You don't want to be seen in this light, right? Also? Five minutes is "not late by much." Twenty minutes is just flat-out late.
So figure out why you're late, and fix that.
posted by rtha at 8:47 AM on September 8, 2010 [2 favorites]
I'd like to emphasize this. It's almost certainly not something you're doing on purpose (though some people do), but punctual people (like me) will often feel disrespected by and pissed off at people who consistently run late. You don't want to be seen in this light, right? Also? Five minutes is "not late by much." Twenty minutes is just flat-out late.
So figure out why you're late, and fix that.
posted by rtha at 8:47 AM on September 8, 2010 [2 favorites]
Best answer: I used to have this problem. I found that setting my clocks ahead made it worse--I knew that they were early, and always misremembered how early I set them.
In addition to adding in more time to get places, and telling yourself it's okay to be early, I also stopped trying to cram a bunch of errands in while on my way to stuff. You know, returning that thing at Target, which always ends up taking longer than you thought it would. Focusing on one project at a time also keeps me from spending too much time on a non-priority issue, and then being late to something more important.
posted by Ideal Impulse at 8:53 AM on September 8, 2010
In addition to adding in more time to get places, and telling yourself it's okay to be early, I also stopped trying to cram a bunch of errands in while on my way to stuff. You know, returning that thing at Target, which always ends up taking longer than you thought it would. Focusing on one project at a time also keeps me from spending too much time on a non-priority issue, and then being late to something more important.
posted by Ideal Impulse at 8:53 AM on September 8, 2010
Best answer: Usually, if I have an appointment, I have sort of a mental "time to start thinking about leaving" alert that clicks on about twenty minutes before I actually plan to leave, even earlier if it's a really important event. When I show up late, it's almost always because I was doing something really distracting or engrossing and that internal alarm didn't go off.
Try scheduling an alarm on your phone, computer, or whatever's nearby to go off about ten or fifteen minutes before you even have to be out the door. When that alarm goes off, immediately start thinking "okay, getting ready to leave now." If you're at work, wind down to a stopping point in whatever you're working on; if you're reading Metafilter or watching TV or some other known time-suck, stop right then. During that time get all your stuff together, put on your shoes, make whatever preparations you need, and keep an eye on the clock.
If it's somewhere you go regularly, make a note of your departure time and arrival time and use that for future visits. If it's somewhere new, tack on 10-20 minutes' travel time to what Google Maps or whoever tells you. Keep external factors in mind: rush hour, driving through downtown, a bus that only shows up every 15 minutes, etc.
posted by Metroid Baby at 8:54 AM on September 8, 2010
Try scheduling an alarm on your phone, computer, or whatever's nearby to go off about ten or fifteen minutes before you even have to be out the door. When that alarm goes off, immediately start thinking "okay, getting ready to leave now." If you're at work, wind down to a stopping point in whatever you're working on; if you're reading Metafilter or watching TV or some other known time-suck, stop right then. During that time get all your stuff together, put on your shoes, make whatever preparations you need, and keep an eye on the clock.
If it's somewhere you go regularly, make a note of your departure time and arrival time and use that for future visits. If it's somewhere new, tack on 10-20 minutes' travel time to what Google Maps or whoever tells you. Keep external factors in mind: rush hour, driving through downtown, a bus that only shows up every 15 minutes, etc.
posted by Metroid Baby at 8:54 AM on September 8, 2010
Best answer: A key thing is just to carefully work out exactly how much time you'll need for each step. It might help to work backwards. Make sure you remember each step.
As in, "I need to be walking in the door of the doctor's office at 1PM. It'll take me five minutes to walk inside from the parking lot, so I need to be stepping out of my car at 12:55PM. It'll take me five minutes to find a space and park, so I need to be entering the parking lot at 12:50PM. It'll take me 20 minutes of driving time, so I need to start my car at 12:30. It'll take me five minutes to get the driver's seat adjusted exactly how I like it and my GPS set up and my iPod plugged in, so I need to be stepping into my car at 12:25."
Etc.
posted by yankeefog at 8:58 AM on September 8, 2010 [4 favorites]
As in, "I need to be walking in the door of the doctor's office at 1PM. It'll take me five minutes to walk inside from the parking lot, so I need to be stepping out of my car at 12:55PM. It'll take me five minutes to find a space and park, so I need to be entering the parking lot at 12:50PM. It'll take me 20 minutes of driving time, so I need to start my car at 12:30. It'll take me five minutes to get the driver's seat adjusted exactly how I like it and my GPS set up and my iPod plugged in, so I need to be stepping into my car at 12:25."
Etc.
posted by yankeefog at 8:58 AM on September 8, 2010 [4 favorites]
kro and Metroid Baby have it - set a pre-departure alarm. Time Timer is an example of something that gives you a visual representation of how much time is left (and you can set a few alarms).
posted by canine epigram at 9:02 AM on September 8, 2010 [3 favorites]
posted by canine epigram at 9:02 AM on September 8, 2010 [3 favorites]
The solution depends on why you are late. if the problem is poor planning, take a look at your regular destinations. If your trip should take you 10 minutes under the best circumstances, don't leave 10 minutes before you are supposed to be there. Pad your travel time accordingly. For places you don't go regularly, use an internet mapping guide for time estimates, and again, pad accordingly.
If this occurs regularly, it isn't unforeseen things like horrible traffic etc that is causing the problem. Make your appt, work, lunch the priority over whatever it is that is distracting you and causing your delay. I come from a family of people who always think they have time to do "just one more thing" before they leave for an appt. Lots of "just one more thing" add up to too many things and leaving later than necessary to get somewhere on time. The solution in this case is to stop trying to cram a bajillion tasks into those few odd minutes you have before you need to leave. That "just one more thing" can wait until after work.
posted by domino at 9:02 AM on September 8, 2010
If this occurs regularly, it isn't unforeseen things like horrible traffic etc that is causing the problem. Make your appt, work, lunch the priority over whatever it is that is distracting you and causing your delay. I come from a family of people who always think they have time to do "just one more thing" before they leave for an appt. Lots of "just one more thing" add up to too many things and leaving later than necessary to get somewhere on time. The solution in this case is to stop trying to cram a bajillion tasks into those few odd minutes you have before you need to leave. That "just one more thing" can wait until after work.
posted by domino at 9:02 AM on September 8, 2010
Best answer: When I was a teen I was often late, sometimes very late. Now I'm always on time, often early. I can tell you what I think was useful to me.
1st thing I did was not to wear a watch. I'm not telling you not to know what time it is, really the opposite! I always had a mobile with me, but I'm lazy and did look at it only when it was really necessary (i.e. to know if I had to run to catch a train). But not wearing a watch got my mind set on trying to notice the small little things that made me know what time it was. How much does it take for you to have a coffee? And for you friends/significant other? How much does it take for you to go buying groceries? Did you notice that big watch inside the grocery store? Frequently ask yourself 'what time is it?', and answer using your evidencies.
2nd: if you want to be on time you have to be early. Period. As MuffinMan says, have a soft and hard cut off. How do you set them? By knowing how much time you needed in the past.
These two strategies will allow you to calibrate your sense of time. I have to warn you: it takes time, don't discourage if you don't get it soon!
Putting the watch forward to me is just a quick fix and not a real strategy, as I use it only to have other people do things on time ;-)
posted by volpe at 9:09 AM on September 8, 2010
1st thing I did was not to wear a watch. I'm not telling you not to know what time it is, really the opposite! I always had a mobile with me, but I'm lazy and did look at it only when it was really necessary (i.e. to know if I had to run to catch a train). But not wearing a watch got my mind set on trying to notice the small little things that made me know what time it was. How much does it take for you to have a coffee? And for you friends/significant other? How much does it take for you to go buying groceries? Did you notice that big watch inside the grocery store? Frequently ask yourself 'what time is it?', and answer using your evidencies.
2nd: if you want to be on time you have to be early. Period. As MuffinMan says, have a soft and hard cut off. How do you set them? By knowing how much time you needed in the past.
These two strategies will allow you to calibrate your sense of time. I have to warn you: it takes time, don't discourage if you don't get it soon!
Putting the watch forward to me is just a quick fix and not a real strategy, as I use it only to have other people do things on time ;-)
posted by volpe at 9:09 AM on September 8, 2010
I'm very punctual due to frequent childhood embarrassment caused by a chronically late mother, so I'm not sure how helpful this will be, but when I have to be somewhere at a specific time, I tell myself that I really need to be there between 5 and 15 minutes early- especially for meetings and appointments. I use the extra time for mentally moving myself from transportation mode to meeting mode, going over notes if I need to, etc. People seem to appreciate that they never have to wait for me, and I'm way less harried than I would be if I walked into a meeting straight from the street. Plus, in the event that there's some unforeseen traffic or if I really need a coffee, I always have a built-in buffer time.
posted by oinopaponton at 9:51 AM on September 8, 2010
posted by oinopaponton at 9:51 AM on September 8, 2010
I don't see a magic answer except taking responsibility for your own behavior. I think that's what you want to do, right?
I'd suggest imagining how the other person feels waiting idly while you're being late. Because, if your lateness is chronic, as you've said, then you basically decided their time is less important than yours and that your word ("I'll meet you at two") isn't worth much. This may not be true, but it's the impression you're giving. You'd rather inconvenience someone else than inconvenience yourself by being on time. It's really a matter of deciding, and then doing what it takes.
I don't see how trick-setting your watch, etc, gets you off the hook or helps you.
Very sorry if this sounds harsh, I guess it's a pet peeve of mine. Life's too short to wait for no-shows.
posted by fivesavagepalms at 9:57 AM on September 8, 2010
I'd suggest imagining how the other person feels waiting idly while you're being late. Because, if your lateness is chronic, as you've said, then you basically decided their time is less important than yours and that your word ("I'll meet you at two") isn't worth much. This may not be true, but it's the impression you're giving. You'd rather inconvenience someone else than inconvenience yourself by being on time. It's really a matter of deciding, and then doing what it takes.
I don't see how trick-setting your watch, etc, gets you off the hook or helps you.
Very sorry if this sounds harsh, I guess it's a pet peeve of mine. Life's too short to wait for no-shows.
posted by fivesavagepalms at 9:57 AM on September 8, 2010
I guess what I meant to say above is that the solution is not on your wrist or in your pocket or purse or on the table by the door, it's in your head.
posted by fivesavagepalms at 9:59 AM on September 8, 2010
posted by fivesavagepalms at 9:59 AM on September 8, 2010
Yeah, the basic idea is to plan to be early. That way, if things go wrong, you're on time.
What makes planning to be early possible is bringing things to do once you're there, but early. Fortunately, there are laptops and smartphones. Don't write that email, then go. Go, arrive, then write that email.
posted by musofire at 10:16 AM on September 8, 2010
What makes planning to be early possible is bringing things to do once you're there, but early. Fortunately, there are laptops and smartphones. Don't write that email, then go. Go, arrive, then write that email.
posted by musofire at 10:16 AM on September 8, 2010
1. If it's going to take me 10 minutes to drive to an appointment, I think in terms of being buckled into the car with the engine running at 10-til, not leaving the house at 10-til. Leaving the house entails choosing a coat, finding my keys, double-checking the stove, locking the door...oops, there went my 10 minutes.
2. I offer myself a treat by leaving early, i.e., I'm going to plan to get there 15 minutes ahead of time, but I'm going to use that time to get myself a latte at the hospital cafe, or peek at my new magazine, or whatever. If it turns out that those "extra" 15 minutes get eaten up by traffic delays, oh well, at least I wasn't late. I'll treat myself after the appointment.
posted by Knowyournuts at 10:18 AM on September 8, 2010 [1 favorite]
2. I offer myself a treat by leaving early, i.e., I'm going to plan to get there 15 minutes ahead of time, but I'm going to use that time to get myself a latte at the hospital cafe, or peek at my new magazine, or whatever. If it turns out that those "extra" 15 minutes get eaten up by traffic delays, oh well, at least I wasn't late. I'll treat myself after the appointment.
posted by Knowyournuts at 10:18 AM on September 8, 2010 [1 favorite]
The formula is, 10 minutes for every half-hour you think it'll take.
If someone says let's meet at 8:00pm and you think it'll take 20 minutes to get there, you leave at 7:30.
If someone says let's catch a concert at 7:00pm that you think is a two hour drive, you leave at 4:20.
posted by Civil_Disobedient at 10:19 AM on September 8, 2010
If someone says let's meet at 8:00pm and you think it'll take 20 minutes to get there, you leave at 7:30.
If someone says let's catch a concert at 7:00pm that you think is a two hour drive, you leave at 4:20.
posted by Civil_Disobedient at 10:19 AM on September 8, 2010
Also, if your math sucks, round down (earlier).
:)
posted by Civil_Disobedient at 10:20 AM on September 8, 2010
:)
posted by Civil_Disobedient at 10:20 AM on September 8, 2010
I'm basically never late, occasionally just by 1-2 minutes. I think of the longest possible travel time and add on some extra time: 2-3 minutes for a 10-min walk, 5-10 minutes for a 20-min bike ride, 15 minutes for 40 min driving/parking, sometimes even 1 hr for a 4-hr drive. This sets the time at which I stand up and begin to leave. Usually some of this time is eaten up by looking for my keys, running into a friend, a broken elevator, changed traffic pattern, what have you. The point is that when that stuff happens, I'm still not late.
I do worry about being awkwardly early, as some have mentioned. This is why I always used to carry a book and why I now LOVE my internet-enabled phone. I can do productive things like slashing my inbox down to size so I don't waste the first 15 minutes back at my desk dealing with it, or fun de-stressors like checking Facebook or AskMe, reading one of a selection of weightless e-books, etc.
posted by ecsh at 10:22 AM on September 8, 2010
I do worry about being awkwardly early, as some have mentioned. This is why I always used to carry a book and why I now LOVE my internet-enabled phone. I can do productive things like slashing my inbox down to size so I don't waste the first 15 minutes back at my desk dealing with it, or fun de-stressors like checking Facebook or AskMe, reading one of a selection of weightless e-books, etc.
posted by ecsh at 10:22 AM on September 8, 2010
I do a combination of the above - planning out the exact steps plus tacking an extra few minutes on to the end.
However, I've noticed that my girlfriend and I have different ideas of what it means to be "ready to go". Maybe this is also affecting your ability to be on time. For me, I am "ready to go" when my shoes are on, bag is slung over my shoulder, car keys are in my hand and the front door is halfway open. My girlfriend will tell me she's "ready to go" while she's brushing her hair. And then she has to brush her teeth. And then she'll get her shoes on. And then she has to go hunting to find her wallet because she misplaced it again.
So, it may help to recalibrate in your mind just what "ready to go" really means.
posted by backseatpilot at 10:25 AM on September 8, 2010 [1 favorite]
However, I've noticed that my girlfriend and I have different ideas of what it means to be "ready to go". Maybe this is also affecting your ability to be on time. For me, I am "ready to go" when my shoes are on, bag is slung over my shoulder, car keys are in my hand and the front door is halfway open. My girlfriend will tell me she's "ready to go" while she's brushing her hair. And then she has to brush her teeth. And then she'll get her shoes on. And then she has to go hunting to find her wallet because she misplaced it again.
So, it may help to recalibrate in your mind just what "ready to go" really means.
posted by backseatpilot at 10:25 AM on September 8, 2010 [1 favorite]
Oh, and the other thing I always do - if I'm going somewhere for the first time, especially if it's going to be a recurring event (new semester's classes, for example), I will get where I need to go extremely early on the first time and be very attentive about how long it takes to get there. Then I have a much better idea of when I need to leave for future appointments.
posted by backseatpilot at 10:27 AM on September 8, 2010
posted by backseatpilot at 10:27 AM on September 8, 2010
My husband is often late because he puts off getting ready until the last moment and then it always takes longer than he thinks it will. I urge him to get entirely dressed except for shoes and coat, lay those out, gather his bag, his lunch, whatever else, and THEN go deadhead the flowers in the garden until it's time to leave or check facebook or whatever. Then when his phone beeps to tell him to leave, he can just leave instead of frantically searching for socks and trying to finish combing his hair. This is what I do: Get everything ready in advance, and then do filler tasks I can just quit at any moment until it's time to go.
(Of course, if your problem is that you start doing a chore and can't leave until you finish it, this is a bad strategy.)
posted by Eyebrows McGee at 10:38 AM on September 8, 2010
(Of course, if your problem is that you start doing a chore and can't leave until you finish it, this is a bad strategy.)
posted by Eyebrows McGee at 10:38 AM on September 8, 2010
Best answer: Let's say it takes you 40 minutes to get ready on an efficient, but not rushed, morning. Make a 35 minute playlist of songs that start off mellow and gradually get more and more energetic. At the end of the playlist, put 1-2 fast, loud songs you don't like. Put on the mix as you get ready, and try to be all done before the crappy songs hit.
It can also help to ramp the clocks in your house. Bedside clock = 30 minutes ahead. Bathroom clock 20 minutes ahead. Kitchen clock = 15 minutes ahead. Clock by the front door: only 5 minutes ahead. This makes you hurry through the snooze alarm, shower, and breakfast part of getting ready.... and then you get to the front door and realize you have a little more time than you thought, aah, you're all ready to leave and now you have 10 minutes or so of buffer time.
posted by pseudostrabismus at 10:49 AM on September 8, 2010 [3 favorites]
It can also help to ramp the clocks in your house. Bedside clock = 30 minutes ahead. Bathroom clock 20 minutes ahead. Kitchen clock = 15 minutes ahead. Clock by the front door: only 5 minutes ahead. This makes you hurry through the snooze alarm, shower, and breakfast part of getting ready.... and then you get to the front door and realize you have a little more time than you thought, aah, you're all ready to leave and now you have 10 minutes or so of buffer time.
posted by pseudostrabismus at 10:49 AM on September 8, 2010 [3 favorites]
Lots of good suggestions here. I also recommend planning procrastination time into your schedule. For example, I have to be at work for 7. If I get up at 5:45 I have enough time to get ready and get there. BUT, it takes me 3 times of hitting snooze to really wake up, and after getting up I like to drink some coffee and play on my computer. In the past my strategy for trying to be on time was to try not to hit snooze, or avoid the computer, etc. It didn't work. Now I set my alarm for 5, and plan to hit snooze 3 times and spend 15 minutes procrastinating on the computer.
posted by cottonswab at 10:52 AM on September 8, 2010 [1 favorite]
posted by cottonswab at 10:52 AM on September 8, 2010 [1 favorite]
Best answer: Enough with the guilt trips. Rarely is being late an issue of "not caring" or being deliberately inconsiderate. For me, it is often a case of forgetting to plan time for something I need to do before leaving or not being able to find my keys or simply losing track of time. The OP is *trying* to fix her chronic lateness. Yes, she should think of how her lateness effects other people, but she's working on it.
The advice above to set a time to leave by and to set "5 minute warning" timers has helped me tremendously, as have things as simple as always putting my keys in the same place. That five minutes spent looking for the damn keys so I can leave the damn house is a killer - I don't know if this is an issue for you, but it has made me so much more punctual.
Additionally - when getting ready to leave the house, unless you need directions or are awaiting specific information, DO NOT TURN ON THE COMPUTER. It is a time suck only. Again, I may be projecting, sorry.
Honestly, the biggest motivation I have found to leave early and to be on time is avoiding that panicked, rushed sense of watching the minutes drain away as you try to make on time and fail. This may not work to motivate you every day, but it will make travel much more pleasant. Promise yourself a coffee at the terminal if you get there early.
posted by maryr at 10:53 AM on September 8, 2010 [2 favorites]
The advice above to set a time to leave by and to set "5 minute warning" timers has helped me tremendously, as have things as simple as always putting my keys in the same place. That five minutes spent looking for the damn keys so I can leave the damn house is a killer - I don't know if this is an issue for you, but it has made me so much more punctual.
Additionally - when getting ready to leave the house, unless you need directions or are awaiting specific information, DO NOT TURN ON THE COMPUTER. It is a time suck only. Again, I may be projecting, sorry.
Honestly, the biggest motivation I have found to leave early and to be on time is avoiding that panicked, rushed sense of watching the minutes drain away as you try to make on time and fail. This may not work to motivate you every day, but it will make travel much more pleasant. Promise yourself a coffee at the terminal if you get there early.
posted by maryr at 10:53 AM on September 8, 2010 [2 favorites]
set a nagging unimportant task to take place near your appointment. If you are having lunch at 1pm on 34th street plan on going to the drug store on 33rd street at 12:30 to pick up dental floss. If you are late you can go to the drug store afterward. I always try to pool small shopping/phone call/reading tasks around appointment destinations this way I have a built in buffer if there is no traffic.
posted by any major dude at 11:17 AM on September 8, 2010
posted by any major dude at 11:17 AM on September 8, 2010
I know a lot of people who are chronically late. It's frustrating for everyone involved. Bottom line, it takes discipline to be on time every time. The good news here, you have almost total control over this situation. I always get to my appoints at least 15 minutes early. Sometimes 30 minutes early. Punctuality in my job is very key...if I'm even a minute late...my clients we certainly hold it against me. So I always leave waaaay earlier then I have to in order to ensure I'm always early to where ever I'm going. If I'm ever too early to something I sometimes just wait in my car a bit, or browse a nearby store to kill time. It's not a big deal, and this way I know I'll never be late. I also spent the majority of my childhood studying the martial arts. When you were late for class you were always punished with having to do push ups, sit ups, continuous punches, sparring the sensi...it wasn't fun. But I learned that discipline in life is key. You just have to DO IT. Don't TRY to be early....just BE early. Simple as that. It's mind over matter. Eventually you will lose friends if not jobs because of your lateness. Make the change now.
posted by ljs30 at 11:50 AM on September 8, 2010
posted by ljs30 at 11:50 AM on September 8, 2010
This is classic passive-agressive behaviour. Being late makes it all about you. I think you need to figure out why it always has to be about you, and move on from there.
posted by Gungho at 11:59 AM on September 8, 2010
posted by Gungho at 11:59 AM on September 8, 2010
Best answer: I agree with those who say you should aim to be early. For you and me, aiming to be on time is just too exact. Now I do well aiming for 10 minutes early, but at first I had to keep expanding the early time till I found success with 25 minutes.
There could be several different things adding up so you end up being late. Make a list of all of them, even the ones that happen infrequently, and even the stupid things that take only a few seconds. It doesn't take many of them to add up to ten minutes.
Some of mine: I procrastinate; I realize too late that my last clean shirt is too wrinkled; I don't know exactly where my keys/bag/jacket are; I answer the home phone even though I don't have time to take a message; I really want to finish up an email before I go; I space out and miss my exit on the freeway; I assume that transportation time will be 'best case."
Once you have your list, choose just a couple of things to change, like designating a place to keep your keys and leaving all your "must haves" by the front door. These will make a difference right away, though you'll have to work at making new habits. Add more changes when you're ready.
The other change to work on right away: decide how early you intend to be, and view it not as a hope or a possibility, but as an actual deadline.
Success is doing what you set out to do. When you do arrive at your planned-for early time, take a moment to feel good about it -- because for people like you and me, it's an accomplishment.
posted by wryly at 12:12 PM on September 8, 2010
There could be several different things adding up so you end up being late. Make a list of all of them, even the ones that happen infrequently, and even the stupid things that take only a few seconds. It doesn't take many of them to add up to ten minutes.
Some of mine: I procrastinate; I realize too late that my last clean shirt is too wrinkled; I don't know exactly where my keys/bag/jacket are; I answer the home phone even though I don't have time to take a message; I really want to finish up an email before I go; I space out and miss my exit on the freeway; I assume that transportation time will be 'best case."
Once you have your list, choose just a couple of things to change, like designating a place to keep your keys and leaving all your "must haves" by the front door. These will make a difference right away, though you'll have to work at making new habits. Add more changes when you're ready.
The other change to work on right away: decide how early you intend to be, and view it not as a hope or a possibility, but as an actual deadline.
Success is doing what you set out to do. When you do arrive at your planned-for early time, take a moment to feel good about it -- because for people like you and me, it's an accomplishment.
posted by wryly at 12:12 PM on September 8, 2010
Best answer: It's an anxiety-related issue for me, as well as (now) being a lifelong habit. I set reminders to leave on my phone, early enough that I will be on time even if I stall 10-15 minutes. That helps.
But nothing completely overcomes it. It's a tough habit to break.
posted by IAmBroom at 12:29 PM on September 8, 2010
But nothing completely overcomes it. It's a tough habit to break.
posted by IAmBroom at 12:29 PM on September 8, 2010
Not by much - about 10, 20 minutes at the most.
For the record, when it comes to meeting people for lunch and professonal appointments, 10 to 20 minutes is a lot. And I live in Los Angeles, home of the fashionably late and flaky.
If you're looking for a simple strategy: figure out when you need to leave, then aim for leaving 10 to 20 minutes early. If you genuinely think that's not much, you should have no trouble whatsoever doing it.
However, if you need coping mechanisms: set an alarm clock for the earlier time, and force yourself to leave as soon as it goes off, period. Start calling people you're going to be late for, including doctors, ten minutes before your arrival time is scheduled even if you think you're going to be on time, apologizing for being late -- and if you get there on time, you'll be able to say "hey, I made it!" Write down doctor's appointments and lunch dates for 30 minutes before you really have to be there, and aim for that time, so that even if you're late you still have to sit there for 10-20 minutes, to find out what it's like for the people you keep waiting.
Ultimately, being late is about lack of respect, and hopefully as you start taking on the burden of 10-20 minutes at a time (by virtue of being early) and responsibility for your actions (by virtue of having to apologize before you even know if you're late, just because of your track record), you'll learn to have more respect for the people you're doing this to.
Oh, and if you always do this, don't be surprised if you become the joke of your circle of friends, and if they start lying to you about the start time for lunches and other events. You don't respect people, they'll start working around you and losing respect for you.
posted by davejay at 12:37 PM on September 8, 2010 [1 favorite]
For the record, when it comes to meeting people for lunch and professonal appointments, 10 to 20 minutes is a lot. And I live in Los Angeles, home of the fashionably late and flaky.
If you're looking for a simple strategy: figure out when you need to leave, then aim for leaving 10 to 20 minutes early. If you genuinely think that's not much, you should have no trouble whatsoever doing it.
However, if you need coping mechanisms: set an alarm clock for the earlier time, and force yourself to leave as soon as it goes off, period. Start calling people you're going to be late for, including doctors, ten minutes before your arrival time is scheduled even if you think you're going to be on time, apologizing for being late -- and if you get there on time, you'll be able to say "hey, I made it!" Write down doctor's appointments and lunch dates for 30 minutes before you really have to be there, and aim for that time, so that even if you're late you still have to sit there for 10-20 minutes, to find out what it's like for the people you keep waiting.
Ultimately, being late is about lack of respect, and hopefully as you start taking on the burden of 10-20 minutes at a time (by virtue of being early) and responsibility for your actions (by virtue of having to apologize before you even know if you're late, just because of your track record), you'll learn to have more respect for the people you're doing this to.
Oh, and if you always do this, don't be surprised if you become the joke of your circle of friends, and if they start lying to you about the start time for lunches and other events. You don't respect people, they'll start working around you and losing respect for you.
posted by davejay at 12:37 PM on September 8, 2010 [1 favorite]
Wonderful advice from all the MeFites so far. I've tried a lot of these methods. What finally got me over the hurdle into consistent timeliness is going to things with friends. I mean leaving together to go somewhere, not meeting them there. My friends are used to my tardiness. I was ashamed of this but not guilty enough to change my habits. There are a couple of friends I started to hang out with more and more and I found out they absolutely hate being late. They don't mind my tardiness but I know there'd be that tiny seed of annoyance if this causes *us* to be late. I also don't want others to view them negatively for being late especially since they pride themselves in being on time or early.
posted by vilandra at 1:31 PM on September 8, 2010
posted by vilandra at 1:31 PM on September 8, 2010
Plan to get there early. Not, "leave more time", but, if your commitment is at 9, plan to be there at 8:45. Bring a book or other entertainment, or have a plan at the destination (e.g., window-shopping for 15 minutes.)
posted by endless_forms at 1:56 PM on September 8, 2010
posted by endless_forms at 1:56 PM on September 8, 2010
Thinking about it this way really helped me:
Lateness is arrogance.
By being late, you are showing disrespect for other people's time.
You're assuming that whatever you were doing before your appointment, whatever menial task you blame for making you late, is more important than whatever the other person had planned for their day. You're also assuming that your presence is so important that people will gladly postpone proceedings or rearrange their schedule while they wait for you to turn up.
Tips and tricks and fancy alarm clocks might be of some help, but I don't think you'll really kick the habit of until you understand exactly what you are communicating by being habitually late. You are telling your friends, colleagues, and the staff of the businesses you patronise, "I'm sorry, but your time simply isn't as important as my time."
Also, being consistently on time means consistently leaving early enough that you will occasionally be early. When people say, "Allow an extra 15 minutes just in case..." they don't mean, "...just in case you need extra time to find a clean pair of socks and make breakfast and stop for coffee on the way." You should know how long that stuff takes and plan accordingly. No, the 15 minutes is for external delays which are completely beyond your control; cancelled buses, traffic jams, long queues to buy a train ticket. Being on time means being on time even when things don't quite go your way.
So, make it your goal to never be late unless your story about why is both honest and *spectacular*. No more "I missed my bus," or "Sorry, the traffic was really bad". Make a promise to yourself that the next excuse you give for being late will involve escaped tigers on the freeway, or a parachutist crash-landing in your street, or something else so outlandishly unlikely that you couldn't possibly have anticipated it. Because honestly, situations like that are the only times when people will genuinely not think less of you for being 20 minutes late.
posted by embrangled at 7:47 PM on September 8, 2010
Lateness is arrogance.
By being late, you are showing disrespect for other people's time.
You're assuming that whatever you were doing before your appointment, whatever menial task you blame for making you late, is more important than whatever the other person had planned for their day. You're also assuming that your presence is so important that people will gladly postpone proceedings or rearrange their schedule while they wait for you to turn up.
Tips and tricks and fancy alarm clocks might be of some help, but I don't think you'll really kick the habit of until you understand exactly what you are communicating by being habitually late. You are telling your friends, colleagues, and the staff of the businesses you patronise, "I'm sorry, but your time simply isn't as important as my time."
Also, being consistently on time means consistently leaving early enough that you will occasionally be early. When people say, "Allow an extra 15 minutes just in case..." they don't mean, "...just in case you need extra time to find a clean pair of socks and make breakfast and stop for coffee on the way." You should know how long that stuff takes and plan accordingly. No, the 15 minutes is for external delays which are completely beyond your control; cancelled buses, traffic jams, long queues to buy a train ticket. Being on time means being on time even when things don't quite go your way.
So, make it your goal to never be late unless your story about why is both honest and *spectacular*. No more "I missed my bus," or "Sorry, the traffic was really bad". Make a promise to yourself that the next excuse you give for being late will involve escaped tigers on the freeway, or a parachutist crash-landing in your street, or something else so outlandishly unlikely that you couldn't possibly have anticipated it. Because honestly, situations like that are the only times when people will genuinely not think less of you for being 20 minutes late.
posted by embrangled at 7:47 PM on September 8, 2010
Best answer: I have a hard time with this too. For me it's two things:
1. I'm bad at estimating how long things will take -- the tasks I have to do before leaving, and the tasks involved in travel. In other words, I can be out the door at the time I estimated was the required time, but I will still be late.
The solution to this part of the problem doesn't have to do with willpower, or arrogance (?!) or all the other criticisms above. It's just an estimation skill that's lacking. The solution is to develop time habits that minimize the damage from bad estimates:
-plan to arrive comfortably early;
-mentally work backwards from that early arrival time and account for each little task (like walking through the parking lot and finding the office) with maximally generous estimates of how long each will take, to figure out your firm departure time;
-then add your personal fudge factor (for me it's 30 min, and my family who all do this call it "operating on Mitten Time" - substitute your own name in) to yield your soft departure time, the time you'll now begin thinking of as "I have to leave at this time".
I am still bad at estimating how long things take, but when I build my schedule around the worst-case estimates, I can usually manage to be on time.
2. Sometimes I get involved in a time-suck activity before leaving. In other words, I sometimes don't get out the door at the time I estimated was the required time.
This is the part that's a matter of will. For me the solution is being honest with myself about what's a time-suck, and avoiding those things within some window of time before departure (say, 30 min). Or if they can't be avoided, like a conversation with a co-worker who comes up and wants to talk, be disciplined about cutting things off at the time you need to.
posted by LobsterMitten at 10:10 PM on September 8, 2010
1. I'm bad at estimating how long things will take -- the tasks I have to do before leaving, and the tasks involved in travel. In other words, I can be out the door at the time I estimated was the required time, but I will still be late.
The solution to this part of the problem doesn't have to do with willpower, or arrogance (?!) or all the other criticisms above. It's just an estimation skill that's lacking. The solution is to develop time habits that minimize the damage from bad estimates:
-plan to arrive comfortably early;
-mentally work backwards from that early arrival time and account for each little task (like walking through the parking lot and finding the office) with maximally generous estimates of how long each will take, to figure out your firm departure time;
-then add your personal fudge factor (for me it's 30 min, and my family who all do this call it "operating on Mitten Time" - substitute your own name in) to yield your soft departure time, the time you'll now begin thinking of as "I have to leave at this time".
I am still bad at estimating how long things take, but when I build my schedule around the worst-case estimates, I can usually manage to be on time.
2. Sometimes I get involved in a time-suck activity before leaving. In other words, I sometimes don't get out the door at the time I estimated was the required time.
This is the part that's a matter of will. For me the solution is being honest with myself about what's a time-suck, and avoiding those things within some window of time before departure (say, 30 min). Or if they can't be avoided, like a conversation with a co-worker who comes up and wants to talk, be disciplined about cutting things off at the time you need to.
posted by LobsterMitten at 10:10 PM on September 8, 2010
You have to figure out why you are late and then change your habits accordingly. Getting to the root of the problem is step #1.
Are you late because you procrastinate?
Are you late because you don't keep track of time?
Are you late because you don't realize how long it takes to accomplish certain tasks?
Figure out why you run late is the most important thing you can do. I think that's true for solving any problem, really. 'Why' is almost always far more important than 'what.'
Keep an eye out for bottlenecks of time. A shower, for example. I bet if I ask you how long you take in the shower, you'd be wrong. Don't worry... most of us are (myself included). Pull out a stopwatch if you have to and figure out how long it takes you to do the things you need to do. Add up the times to know how much time you REALLY need, and keep in mind you might not have left yourself any time to spare.
I've known people who used the clock trick, but that's a horrible idea (in my opinion) because it reinforces the concept of time being a flexible wishy-washy sort of thing. If you need to be somewhere at 9AM, it isn't helpful to start getting ready at 8:15 if it's really 7:55. "Yay! I added 20 minutes to my morning so I can be late and still get there on time." BZZZZZZT! Incorrect. You're just causing yourself future lateness by having no real clue how time works. 8:15 to 9AM is 45 minutes, not an hour and five minutes.
posted by 2oh1 at 10:28 PM on September 8, 2010
Are you late because you procrastinate?
Are you late because you don't keep track of time?
Are you late because you don't realize how long it takes to accomplish certain tasks?
Figure out why you run late is the most important thing you can do. I think that's true for solving any problem, really. 'Why' is almost always far more important than 'what.'
Keep an eye out for bottlenecks of time. A shower, for example. I bet if I ask you how long you take in the shower, you'd be wrong. Don't worry... most of us are (myself included). Pull out a stopwatch if you have to and figure out how long it takes you to do the things you need to do. Add up the times to know how much time you REALLY need, and keep in mind you might not have left yourself any time to spare.
I've known people who used the clock trick, but that's a horrible idea (in my opinion) because it reinforces the concept of time being a flexible wishy-washy sort of thing. If you need to be somewhere at 9AM, it isn't helpful to start getting ready at 8:15 if it's really 7:55. "Yay! I added 20 minutes to my morning so I can be late and still get there on time." BZZZZZZT! Incorrect. You're just causing yourself future lateness by having no real clue how time works. 8:15 to 9AM is 45 minutes, not an hour and five minutes.
posted by 2oh1 at 10:28 PM on September 8, 2010
Master the art of back-timing.
I used to work in radio and had to air a live news feed at exactly 00:00 each hour. I became a master of back-timing music, talk, etc, in order to have a song end exactly fifteen seconds before the news feed began (leaving me just enough time for the intro plus a tease for what was coming up after the news). After years of doing that, I realized that I back-time everything.
Gotta be somewhere tomorrow morning at 9AM?
That means I need to be out the door by 8:45.
...which means I need to be brushing my teeth by 8:40.
...and eating my breakfast by 8:25.
...and in the shower by 8:10. [note! shower time includes drying off and getting dressed]
...ten minutes here to make coffee and figure out what to wear.
...out of bed by 8:00.
Figure out how long things really take - not how long they take when you're in a rush. Figure out how long they really take. For example, eating a bowl of cereal takes me fifteen minutes because I'll usually check email at the same time.
Figure out how long things really take and then time it all backwards so you'll know when you need to start getting ready.
Back-timing!
posted by 2oh1 at 10:41 PM on September 8, 2010
I used to work in radio and had to air a live news feed at exactly 00:00 each hour. I became a master of back-timing music, talk, etc, in order to have a song end exactly fifteen seconds before the news feed began (leaving me just enough time for the intro plus a tease for what was coming up after the news). After years of doing that, I realized that I back-time everything.
Gotta be somewhere tomorrow morning at 9AM?
That means I need to be out the door by 8:45.
...which means I need to be brushing my teeth by 8:40.
...and eating my breakfast by 8:25.
...and in the shower by 8:10. [note! shower time includes drying off and getting dressed]
...ten minutes here to make coffee and figure out what to wear.
...out of bed by 8:00.
Figure out how long things really take - not how long they take when you're in a rush. Figure out how long they really take. For example, eating a bowl of cereal takes me fifteen minutes because I'll usually check email at the same time.
Figure out how long things really take and then time it all backwards so you'll know when you need to start getting ready.
Back-timing!
posted by 2oh1 at 10:41 PM on September 8, 2010
Best answer: Nthing back-timing!
I had an issue with lateness for years. As it turns out, my problems were a combination of habitually underestimating how long it takes to walk my dog (seriously) and being practically comatose in the mornings. I would decide on a reasonable time to leave in the morning, but I would inevitably hit the snooze button 4 times, convince myself (in my half-asleep stupor) that it would only take 20 minutes to get to work, end up skipping breakfast and STILL show up late to work.
The solution for me was to back-time the night before. And then- this was the key- write down a simple schedule for the morning. For example I would leave this note next to my bed:
first alarm 6:30
out of bed 7:10
walking dog 7:45
out of house 8:00!
Sometimes I would even write "you are going to be late!!" at the bottom of the page. Or something more specific like, "professor glasses will hate you!!" if I had to get to a meeting with prof glasses that morning.
This strategy was especially important for me because my MWF schedule varied wildly from my Tu Th schedule. And I had sporadic commitments on weekend mornings as well. It turns out my biggest problem was that I would wake up in the morning disoriented and convince myself of a "best case scinario" schedule for the morning so I could go back to sleep.
I don't really think it's fair to say that lateness is always caused by arrogance or a true uncaring for others. With all the stress I caused myself with my chronic lateness I think I showed the most disrespect for MYSELF and my own experience of leaving the house, commuting, arriving to meetings, etc.
posted by MrsHarper at 11:57 PM on September 8, 2010
I had an issue with lateness for years. As it turns out, my problems were a combination of habitually underestimating how long it takes to walk my dog (seriously) and being practically comatose in the mornings. I would decide on a reasonable time to leave in the morning, but I would inevitably hit the snooze button 4 times, convince myself (in my half-asleep stupor) that it would only take 20 minutes to get to work, end up skipping breakfast and STILL show up late to work.
The solution for me was to back-time the night before. And then- this was the key- write down a simple schedule for the morning. For example I would leave this note next to my bed:
first alarm 6:30
out of bed 7:10
walking dog 7:45
out of house 8:00!
Sometimes I would even write "you are going to be late!!" at the bottom of the page. Or something more specific like, "professor glasses will hate you!!" if I had to get to a meeting with prof glasses that morning.
This strategy was especially important for me because my MWF schedule varied wildly from my Tu Th schedule. And I had sporadic commitments on weekend mornings as well. It turns out my biggest problem was that I would wake up in the morning disoriented and convince myself of a "best case scinario" schedule for the morning so I could go back to sleep.
I don't really think it's fair to say that lateness is always caused by arrogance or a true uncaring for others. With all the stress I caused myself with my chronic lateness I think I showed the most disrespect for MYSELF and my own experience of leaving the house, commuting, arriving to meetings, etc.
posted by MrsHarper at 11:57 PM on September 8, 2010
Best answer: Yes, consider the root of why you’re late to things. In my case, it’s because I (a) underestimate how long travelling takes and (b) invariably get sucked into doing something else so I leave later than I intended.
(a) is easy – estimate your travel time, then add at least half again (e.g. a guess of 30min becomes “it’ll take me at least 45min”).
(b) is harder. I find travelling very boring and have an absolute horror of being bored, so have a hard time convincing myself to stop an engaging activity and start travelling. My solution to this is to make sure I have something to entertain me on the journey: a novel or sketchbook for public transport, music or a podcast for walking, etc. It makes me sound like an attention-deficient five year old, but knowing that I won’t get bored makes it far easier to drop whatever I’m doing and actually start my journey.
A related trick is to shift your thinking about punctuality slightly: there’s no such thing as “on time”, you’re either early or late. This way, instead of aiming for 1:00pm – which gets mentally translated to “one-ish” – you think “I have to be there before 1:00”, encouraging you to plan to be early.
posted by metaBugs at 4:34 AM on September 9, 2010 [2 favorites]
(a) is easy – estimate your travel time, then add at least half again (e.g. a guess of 30min becomes “it’ll take me at least 45min”).
(b) is harder. I find travelling very boring and have an absolute horror of being bored, so have a hard time convincing myself to stop an engaging activity and start travelling. My solution to this is to make sure I have something to entertain me on the journey: a novel or sketchbook for public transport, music or a podcast for walking, etc. It makes me sound like an attention-deficient five year old, but knowing that I won’t get bored makes it far easier to drop whatever I’m doing and actually start my journey.
A related trick is to shift your thinking about punctuality slightly: there’s no such thing as “on time”, you’re either early or late. This way, instead of aiming for 1:00pm – which gets mentally translated to “one-ish” – you think “I have to be there before 1:00”, encouraging you to plan to be early.
posted by metaBugs at 4:34 AM on September 9, 2010 [2 favorites]
+1 for embrangled's response. What you are not doing is showing respect for the people at the appointments you are late to. You are costing people time, and possibly money. Perhaps these people are too polite to tell you how they feel, but I'll tell you (from someone who had a chronically late ex) that it seriously pisses people off.
Anyway, favouriting all the "technical" solutions is pointless unless you actually commit yourself and your attitude to being there on time.
posted by flutable at 5:52 AM on September 9, 2010
Anyway, favouriting all the "technical" solutions is pointless unless you actually commit yourself and your attitude to being there on time.
posted by flutable at 5:52 AM on September 9, 2010
Response by poster: I have learned some fabulous stuff on this thread. Thanks for the comments on "back-timing" and the other ideas/methods put forth! I have favorited quite a few, but I'm finding value in many, many. IAMBroom mentioned lateness as being a part of their anxiety issues - I hadn't thought of it that way, but it definitely applies to me.
I think lateness obviously hits a nerve with a lot of people. Understandably.
My question is pretty short and as far as I know, no one who has responded here knows me personally, so the jumps some have made to judging my attitude towards others surprised me.
"Anyway, favouriting all the "technical" solutions is pointless unless you actually commit yourself and your attitude to being there on time."
Um really? You're gonna judge my favouriting patterns along with my question and sentence to determine where I REALLY need help?
I wasn't going to respond to this directly because I've been on the receiving end of people being late and it pisses me off too, but just taking this chance to say please assume I'm considering my behavior and attitude, how it affects others, and I'm looking for methods at this point.
posted by lucyleaf at 8:10 AM on September 9, 2010
I think lateness obviously hits a nerve with a lot of people. Understandably.
My question is pretty short and as far as I know, no one who has responded here knows me personally, so the jumps some have made to judging my attitude towards others surprised me.
"Anyway, favouriting all the "technical" solutions is pointless unless you actually commit yourself and your attitude to being there on time."
Um really? You're gonna judge my favouriting patterns along with my question and sentence to determine where I REALLY need help?
I wasn't going to respond to this directly because I've been on the receiving end of people being late and it pisses me off too, but just taking this chance to say please assume I'm considering my behavior and attitude, how it affects others, and I'm looking for methods at this point.
posted by lucyleaf at 8:10 AM on September 9, 2010
I leave really, really early for wherever I need to be. If it should take 30 minutes max to get somewhere, I leave an hour ahead of time. I remind myself that, when I get there early, I can explore a new neighborhood, grab a coffee, sit in the park, have a drink (when waiting for a friend for dinner), whatever. It's a feature/benefit, not a bug/problem to arrive really early. And if the train is rerouted or I get lost or something, I still arrive on time.
Good luck!
posted by valeries at 8:23 AM on September 9, 2010
Good luck!
posted by valeries at 8:23 AM on September 9, 2010
My brother is ALWAYS late because he gets sucked into some task—I used to be, until I started taking along whatever it was that was sucking me in and leaving early. A book, an agenda, whatever.
This way, I still get as much stuff done as I wanted, just at a different place! Now, do you have any advice for my brother, who just tells people to 'chill out, the world isn't going to end' whenever he makes everyone late and pissed off?
posted by blazingunicorn at 10:41 AM on September 9, 2010
This way, I still get as much stuff done as I wanted, just at a different place! Now, do you have any advice for my brother, who just tells people to 'chill out, the world isn't going to end' whenever he makes everyone late and pissed off?
posted by blazingunicorn at 10:41 AM on September 9, 2010
This thread is closed to new comments.
posted by ninebelow at 8:25 AM on September 8, 2010