How do I get over web bullies and commenters?
September 7, 2010 10:42 AM Subscribe
As my web profile rises, how do I get over feeling hurt by web commenters and bullies?
posted by anonymous to Human Relations (34 answers total) 16 users marked this as a favorite
I am a journalist and critic on the web. As my profile has risen, so have the number of hurtful comments. Commenters post ad hominem attacks on my writing, criticizing my spelling or grammar. Or they'll go to my personal website or Facebook and make fun of things I've written there, or my appearance (which is why this question's anonymous). A Youtube video of me conducting an interview has comments debating whether or not I'm "doable." I am female, if you haven't guessed.
I've tried brushing it off, but I'm sensitive. And I'm not famous by any means, nor am I so highly-paid that I can comfort myself by thinking other people are just jealous. It's gotten to the point where I'm so self-conscious that I turn down higher-profile gigs because I don't want to be seen or make a fool of myself. I am scared to Google myself because I don't want to see what people have written. I can't avoid them entirely, since I need to keep up with comments on my posts. But I never notice the positive comments, instead, I focus on the negative, anonymous ones. It seems like people hardly ever post positive comments anyway. One or two hurtful comments can ruin my whole day, or several days, where I dwell on it until I cry or can't eat.
So, how do I get over it? I can't usually argue back because the comment is anonymous. Plus I don't want to draw more attention to it (and it's embarrassing to have to defend my looks anyway). But the comment or forum post is there, forever, so I need a way to cope. Book recommendations, self-affirmations, amazing comebacks, triumphant personal stories, or any other pieces of advice are appreciated.