My Date Won't Stop Talking
September 2, 2010 8:03 PM Subscribe
What should I do when my date won't stop talking?
posted by airguitar2 to Human Relations (42 answers total) 9 users marked this as a favorite
I keep having this recurring experience: I'm on a date with a nice gentleman. He's courteous, kind, and generous. The date (sometimes an internet date, sometimes an old-fashioned date) begins well, with each of us asking questions of the other. The conversation is going swimmingly. Then, at some point, the gentleman begins to talk about himself. And does. Not. Stop. The questions about me cease, and everything I say is simply a launching pad for him to bring up something else about himself.
There are a few possible explanations (he's so excited about what he's discussing that he gets carried away and doesn't realize that I haven't spoken in ten minutes; he sense I'm a good listener, and simply runs with it; he's nervous and trying to impress me, etc.), but this is a HUGE turn-off to me. Listening is incredibly important to me, which is why I try to be a really good listener, but it really bums me out when the other person isn't playing the same game.
So I have two related questions:
1) Is there something I can do or say in the moment to gently make the conversation a bit more balanced? I feel like these are generally good guys, and I want to give them a chance. And if they knew what a HUGE turn-on it is for me when they're actively engaged and interested in me, I have a feeling they would make an effort.
2) OR is this simply a trait that I should recognize, realize it's sort of a deal-breaker for me, and take it as a sign that this won't be a good fit?