Is he really flakey? Or am I crazy?
August 23, 2010 9:24 PM Subscribe
My boyfriend is flakey and I have zero tolerance for flakey behavior. Am I reaching the point of being unreasonable, and should I learn to be more lenient?
posted by squirtle to Human Relations (42 answers total) 5 users marked this as a favorite
I try to surround myself with people who don't flake. I had warned him that flakey behavior is a major pet peeve of mine at the beginning of our relationship. He understood, and I thought we would have no problem.
Turns out, we had a lot of work to do. He would agree to meet up in the morning, and then postpone it four times into the next day and show up an hour late to everything. Besides his flakey tendencies, I would say we're a good match.
He doesn't flake nearly as bad as he used to, but it still had us arguing every week for the past two months about more minor incidents. We're both in school and took the summer off, so we saw each other four times a week. I like to plan out a week at a time, and had him tell me the days he would see me. He promised that Mondays and Fridays were for certain.
Two weeks ago, he forgot about his promise and told me he was going to an art show with his uncle on a Friday. I became angry at him, and his defense was that notifying me early was not considered flakey.
He flaked again today, and tried to lie about it too. His reasons were that he didn't want my father to cook for him so often. Turns out he wanted to have dinner with his cousin, whom he rarely sees. I was looking forward to seeing him all day as he promised because it's a Monday AND our last day of summer vacation. He thought seeing me a few hours earlier today and having class together tomorrow would make up for it. This isn't about seeing him more, because we see each other often enough. I just want him to follow through and stop flaking once a week!
Is this a problem on my side? I'm starting to believe that I should learn to be more lenient or he'll start lying to avoid my crazy and our relationship would end. What do you think?