Help me prove that my cat is not a masturbation addict.
Last week my cat started kneading me…y'know, making biscuits
. I noticed he had a boner (despite being neutered), and I lightheartedly pointed it out to my girlfriend sitting next to me.
She took it entirely the wrong way, and now she's convinced that the cat is trying to 'get off' (her words) every time he gives me a massage. She says he has a 'sex face' when he does it. It disgusts her, and she has banned all cat massages in her presence from the house.
This is bullshit logic and completely irrational. Still, any reasons I give are immediately countered with 'But what about the boner?' And I have no explanation. But for chrissakes, he's not purring and kneading me so he can fap
Help me bring some sense to my girlfriend: give my cat's erection some context outside of 'masturbation addict.'* The more objective, the better. I need cat massages in my life.
* I bet you'll never hear that line again.