How do I stop being a pushover with my sister? (a bit long but any help would be appreciated)
August 13, 2010 7:33 PM Subscribe
How do I stop being a pushover with my sister?
posted by picarosado to human relations (23 answers total) 3 users marked this as a favorite
I'm really tired of being treated badly by my sister. A little background?
We're polar opposites of each other. I'm soft-spoken and shy, she's loud and outgoing. She's very passionate about everything she does and if she has a problem with something, everyone will know. I, on the other hand, hate confrontation and tend to be more diplomatic. We don't get along very well because most of the time she'll bring things up and make me tear up or shut down and stop talking completely.
The one huge problem is that she has an extremely short fuse. Anything and everything can set her off. She's also very easily offended by the slightest things. If anything in her day makes her cranky, she will usually take it out on everyone... me the most, since I'm 10 years younger than her and I'm an easy target. Also, I usually put up with it rather than fight back.
She was out of the country recently and called with the phone number to reach her at. She told me to call the number immediately. I called and I couldn't get through so I dialed her cell phone to tell her this. She responded by screaming at me on the phone that I "fuck everything up" and that I don't know how to do anything right. It was a gross blow-up of a trivial situation. That's just an example of every day occurrences. She tries to justify it by saying that external factors make her mad and that I just seem to top it off. But I've never quite gotten an apology.
At this point, I'm tired of it and I just try to avoid her. But I know that's not how I should be dealing with the situation. It's just that any which way I word it, she makes me feel like I'm the one who's always doing something wrong and it's her job to point it out to me. Also that she's older than me so I shouldn't talk back. I'm just so tired of it and think I want to give up on us altogether, unless she gets some anger management classes.
Any thoughts or suggestions on how I can deal with this will be greatly appreciated. I haven't spoken to her since that conversation and she'll be back home tomorrow. I feel like I need to address the issue even though it'll be a couple days old, right?
I need to learn to stand up for myself, but I'm not sure how exactly to begin wording my sentences in a way that she can't simply justify being a bitch...