Dealing with a will gone bad- Need advice about setting up a trust for my sister, and dealing with her difficult personality.
was me a few weeks ago, and we have come a long way since then.
Background: My father left one of my siblings out of his will, which was a great shock. Honestly, this sister always got more attention than my brother or I, she was always sort of the favorite. I have no idea why my dad did this, it was a current will. My sister who was excluded has been a more difficult family member in general, she is very different from the rest of our family... she has a difficult time when someone else gets attention, she always feels slighted and is generally negative. She was adopted by my parents when she was very young, I don't remember life without her. Committing to work or school has always been an issue for her, she has a hard time finishing what she starts. All that said, I love her dearly. I would do anything in my power to make her happy, and hope that she never finds out about the will. My brother and I have decided to split the estate three ways, despite the will. We have spoken at great length with our lawyer, and had a hearing with a probate judge. By refusing part of our inheritance, the remainder will go to her, so that it is an equal three way split. This is going to be done with total legal transparency, but my sister will not be made aware of the situation unless she challenges the will. The judge has allowed us to set up a trust for my sister, in an attempt to prevent some of her previous financial mistakes from becoming big mistakes.
The total she will receive is 260k after taxes. The trust will allow her to spend any interest how ever she wishes if she doesn't make any other withdraws on the account for the year. It will allow her to purchase a home or vehicle as long as the lawyer signs off. What are we missing here? Are there other restrictions we should be making?
And onto something a bit more petty... I'm the executor of the will, and when the three of us (my sis, my brother & I) were talking after my father passed away, my brother reminded me that I should keep track of the time that I spend working on the estate, so that I can be compensated in some small way. Since then, my sister has asked frequently how much time I'm "charging her for", suggested that I should make sure to keep a time sheet and that all time spent should be away from home so that I'm not distracted (I'm the first time mother to an infant daughter, I do tend to get distracted.). She wants to make sure that I won't be reimbursed at the same rate I would if I were working and seeing patients, which is fair.
This makes me want to scream. She has no idea what hoops I'm jumping through just to get her a part of the inheritance, so of course she doesn't' understand how hurtful this is. My sister is out of the country, so our conversations are limited, which is quite fortunate. How can I better deal with these conversations? Is there a way to help her be more generous of spirit when it comes to these things?