Not a sensitive man.

March 10, 2005 11:19 AM

Genital sensitivity filter.

I'm male, circumcized at birth. The trouble is that my penis is not very sensitive, which can often make sex frustrating. I've tried exercise, avoiding masturbation for extended periods, diet changes, and so forth, so far without much success. Is there anything I can do to enhance sensitivity (which is a very important issue for me)?

posted by staresbynight to health & fitness (9 comments total)

Unless there's been a change in sensitivity over time, what makes you think that yours is less sensitive than the average? Is it because you have a hard time reaching orgasm during sex? If so, there are several potential causes with different solutions. Several common antidepressants cause this problem, and other drugs may as well. Ask your doctor. Oversensitivity can make it hard to come for some guys, especially young ones. I'm not sure it's possible to really make a single part of your body "more sensitive." I always recommend The Guide to Getting it On in sex threads, but it's a really good, encyclopedic book about sex, including several chapters on recalibrating a troubled penis (too sensitive, not sensitive enough, etc.) and many chapters on making sex better for everyone involved. Good luck.
posted by bonheur at 11:54 AM on March 10, 2005

Vigorous masturbation can dull sensitivity. I suggest that in addition to limiting the frequency of your, er, self-love, be gentle. Very gentle. Don't be frustrated if you don't orgasm at first; eventually your body will become accustomed to the subtler stimulation.

Also, don't use the same method/movement/pressure every time since this can train your body into being able to reach orgasm only the one way.
posted by Specklet at 12:07 PM on March 10, 2005

If you're in a position to have sex without a condom, you could try China Brush, although I will warn you: don't use more than the bottle recommends. Ever. One spritz is tingly and enhances the senses. Two spritzes is a fiery, burning hell.
posted by headspace at 12:08 PM on March 10, 2005

A couple of years ago I read about some kind of cover, I think it was felt, that covered the head of the penis during the day. Supposedly they claimed that the rubbing of an uncircumcised penis against your underwear etc. would desensitize it.

With a google search this appears to be the closest I can find to what I remember:

http://www.jkcc.com/manhood/

I'm never, um, used it, and have no idea if it works.

There's also this: (A cone...how cute)

http://www.tlctugger.com/
posted by justgary at 1:35 PM on March 10, 2005

1. Foreplay. Have your sexual partner (assuming you have one) concentrate on the rest of your body for a while. It'll make you feel good in general, and your schlong more eager and possibly sensitive.
2. I don't recall if/where it addresses this issue, but bonheur is right about The Guide to Getting It On - it's a good book to have.
3. Get your sex partner (again, assuming you have one) to read this page about fellatio (NSFW). Read it yourself, too. It's not just about teh oral. It's got some tips that apply to self-service. While you're at it, brush up on your linguistic skills (NSFW) if that applies.
4. The things you've tried - exercise, diet changes, self-denial - may not help sensitivity, but should help you satisfy your (assumed) partner(s), which should make 'em more eager to help you with your perceived problem.
5. About circumsized penises being significantly less sensitive - if this were the case, I'd expect there to be good data showing that uncircumsized men prematurely ejaculate more often, as they would be more sensitive. Despite looking, I haven't seen such data.
posted by mistersix at 2:02 PM on March 10, 2005

Foreskin Restoration.
posted by telstar at 6:32 PM on March 10, 2005

Remember, your biggest sex organ is between your ears, so working with that can bring improvements. I suffered from your problem myself, as Mr. Hand and his 5 tall sons were rather rough. But somehow I got over the problem.

One suggestion is make Mr. Hand use lube, always. You know what they say, different strokes for different folks. But this may help condition you.

Another potential problem is difficulty getting your pleasure while you are busy doing pushups. I lost 25 kilos over the past year, and that has been a fabulous improvement. Meanwhile, you might try approaching things from a more relaxed (for you) position.

And meanwhile, you might try to acquire a taste for pleasuring your partner orally while you pleasure yourself manually. Make your focus your partner's pleasure and you both could end up extremely satisfied! Just remember the lube.
posted by Goofyy at 8:39 PM on March 10, 2005

I'm Ron Low and I sell the Your-Skin Cone that somebody mentioned earlier.

No one should have a hard time reaching orgasm during sex and you shouldn't have to go days and days denying yourself pleasure to be able to finish on the weekend.

If you're posting from the US, chances are you are circumcised. This allows your glans and inner skin (between the circ scar and the glans) to get dried, calloused, and insensitive. You can do some research on "foreskin restoration" but you don't even need to undertake the whole regimen. Just keeping your glans covered with the skin you have now will make a huge difference.

The Your-Skin Cone by TLCTugger lets you use your own skin to protect your sensitivity. Just pull your skin forward into a covering position and pop the rubbery cone on. It grips like a little hat and keeps the skin in place. Wear it under briefs during the day and nude in bed at night. It removes instantly for urination or intimacy. 1000s sold on ebay.

If you don't want to spend any money, you can make something like it yourself. Do a web search on "Dave's Home-made tugger" for instructions. There are also methods involving tape, but I don't recommend those since tapeless foreskin restoration techniques are so easy.

Over three-fourths of the world's men are intact and they have no special health, hygiene, or social problems. No major medical organization in the world recommends circumcision. It's a barbaric superstitious blood ritual performed mainly on unconsenting minors. The removed tissue would have grown to 15 square inches of the most sensitive pleasure receptors a man might know, including the frenulum, the closest thing a man has to a clitoris. Amputated foreskins are often sold by hospitals to pharmaceutical firms, with none of the money going to the unwilling and permanently damaged "donor." Only an informed adult has the moral right to consent to his own cosmetic disfigurement. There is a bill presently circulating in Washington to extend the current legal protection against genital mutilation to boys (see MGMBill.org and contact your US lawmaker).
posted by TLCTugger at 12:04 PM on March 11, 2005

You mentioned your circumcision as though you suspect it might have something to do with lost sensitivity. Almost certainly, it does. Many circumcised men in the US refuse to even consider the possibility. Here's why: Confronting the fact that someone amputated a perfectly healthy part of your penis for no good reason at all, and that now this "social custom" has cost you dearly in sexual sensitivity and pleasure is almost impossible until one works through a lot of social pressure to accept the cutting and personal denial that there could be some problem with one's penis. You've made it through the first hurdles. You've accepted that there could be a connection.

Circumcision was acknowledged by one of the early Jewish commentators (Maimonides) as desirable because it reduced sexual desire and sexual pleasure. This is true because the foreskin has almost all the nerve endings in a penis. A few are in the glans corona. The foreskin protects the glans and its own inner tissue (that's where the nerve endings are). The glans is important because it is a "fulcrum" for the foreskin. They potentiate each other, the glans stimulating the nerve endings in the inner foreskin, and receiveing some stimulation of its limited nerve endings in the corona. Eventually, the glans on a circumcised penis becomes numb, colorless, and dull in appearance. This happens by adolescence in some victims of infant circumcision, in mid-adulthood in others. The glans of an intact penis has a smooth, glistening surface with natural color such as deep blue or cranberry red. A small amount of moisture passes through the cells of the inner foreskin, covering it and the glans to maintain the level of smoothness and sensitivity nature intended. This is smega, much maligned by US physicians who urge circumcision, but accepted as a desirable part of nature by 80% of the world's population. It is harmless, odorless if washed away with water from time to time, and even has some antibiotic properties. Neglecting washing for weeks or months can cause some undesirable odors, but, even at its worst, nothing so rancid as an unwashed armpit or rampant halitosis.


Between 1870 and 1900, physicians in English speaking countries began to urge the procedure on pubescent boys caught masturbating. (Masturbation was believed to cause blindness, paralysis, feeble mindedness, even insanity, and a host of other diseases. Masturbation is now acknowledged to be harmless at worst, preventative of prostrate cancer at best.) In the US, doctors acknowledged damage to sexual organs, but urged circumcision as desirable because of the pain it caused "bad" boys (Kellog, Remondino). This was
"Victorian masturbation hysteria," and its impact is still seen in US attitudes toward sex. US American boys still pay the price even though circumcision has been proven to have no medical value. Advocates still try to find medical justification, such as AIDS prevention. None of them will explain why the US has the highest rate of HIV/AIDS of any industrialized country along with the highest circumcision rate. "Circumcision is a cure in search of a disease."


The rest of the English speaking world has quit the madness, though the rate in Canada and Australia is just under 20% now. The US rate has dropped since the 1970s peak of 85-90%, is around 60-65% now, with three west coast states at about 35%. The rest of the world never adopted the practice. Not Western Europe. Not Eastern Europe. Not Scandanavia. Not Japan. Not Taiwan. Not Hong Kong. Not all of China. About 80% of world's men are intact (not cut), most of the 20% cut being Muslims, who make up 16% of world population. Among Jews in Europe the practice is dwindling - about 40% of Jewish boys in Sweden are now being cut, about the same in Netherlands. France is close. Many Jews in South America don't circumcize now, and a few in the US are foregoing the practice. See http://www.jewsagainstcircumcision.org and http://jewishcircumcision.org . Indeed, Jewish physicians have been among the foremost advocates of stopping the procedure in the US (Edell, Fleiss, Glick).
Many other US physicians want to stop the mutilations. See http://www.doctorsopposingcircumcision.org .


No one should circumcize an infant boy in the US now, with the knowledge available. See http://www.nocirc.org and links to other organizations. What if you're already cut and don't like what it did to you? Believe it or not, you can restore your foreskin. Do this for yourself: Go to http://www.norm.org. They will send you an information kit so you can learn about restoring, including support groups. I strongly recommend the book, _The Joy of Uncircumcising_, by Jim Bigelow, PhD. Dr Bigelow is a psychologist who writes with academic attention to citations, but also in an accessible writing style for all readers. You can order the book from NORM. I think it's about $25.


Anyone interested in the issue of circumcision should read the book, really two books. The first half is a concise but thorough history of circumcision. The second half goes into how to restore. You have to start out slowly and carefully with "taping" (he tells how) and eventually move on to some device such as weights (very light, we're talking about ounces here). The fact that thousands of men have restored or are now restoring speaks volumes about this matter.


The last thing that should happen is to continue infant circumcision because some circumcised men don't want to admit there might be something wrong with their penises. That would be like college fraternity hazing of years ago: Someone did it to me, so I'm going to do it to you. Unfortunately, that's the attitude of some US physicians now.


I'll be happy to answer any questions. On list or off. My email is with my profile.
posted by richard12w97r at 1:50 PM on March 11, 2005